Are you comfortable?

January 25.  We are over 3 weeks into 2016 and I'll bet it is a safe wager that most people have already forgotten what resolutions they made just a few short weeks ago. Oh there may be some of you that are actually sticking with your "new year, new you" workout and eating routines and perhaps a few actually have done all that organizing and tidying up that we see tips for in nearly every January magazine.  I didn't make any huge change resolutions this year, though I did set goals.  I like to reflect on how things are going, that kind of goes along with setting goals. It does no good to write those goals down, then just hope they will all come to pass.

I'm going to do something uncomfortable today.  It may be something as simple as actually loading another box of things to take to the thrift store (I have been in my decluttering and simplifying journey for nearly a year) or it may be something that is extremely out of my comfort zone like taking some next  new steps in my direct sales business.  Each box or bag of stuff that I remove from the house makes me feel good!  I have room for the things that I really love and I'm finding that as the paper and junk piles go down my angst about clutter decreases.  As for the business part? I made the decision to pursue this.  Direct selling is greatly misunderstood by many people, but it is one of the fastest growing lines of work in the world.  This method of selling goods, directly from distributor to customer, has been around awhile, but in order to succeed it takes work, just like any other job. I am finding that I have to do the hard stuff!  I also have discovered that some of those tasks that are the hardest to get started on, the ones that make me squirm a bit, are the most rewarding. Should I  ask the easy question "Would you like to have a party?" or the harder one "How are things with you? Can we have a cup of coffee and catch up?"  Making the time to listen to people and learn what is going on in their lives is the first step in building a great relationship that lasts. 

Since I do so much of my business online I stalk Facebook a lot.  It is evident that I am no different than most of the people I come in contact with. We nearly all are concerned about money, health, family relationships and a good measure of worry about the future.  None of that is new.  In a heart wrenching conversation last week with someone I love we talked about faith.  I truly believe that I have a strong measure of faith, in God and in what is to come.  However, I was challenged "Do you really?  You say that you have faith to step out in belief, but do you - really?"  I have thought about that conversation all week.  Then this morning in one of my favorite devotional books I read these words written so very long ago by Oswald Chambers:

As servants of God, we must learn to make room for Him - to give God "elbow room". We plan and figure and predict that this or that will happen, but we forget to make room for God to come in as He chooses.  Would we be surprised if God came to our meeting or into our preaching in a way we had never expected Him to come? Do not look for God to come in a particular way, but do look for Him. The way to look for Him is to expect Him to come, but not in a certain way. No matter how well we may know God, the great lesson to learn is that He may break in at any minute. We tend to overlook this element of surprise, yet God never works in any other way. Suddenly - God meets our life - ".....when it pleased God....."   Keep your life so  constantly in touch with God that His surprising power can break through at any point. Live in a constant state of expectancy, and leave room for God to come in as He decides.   ( January 25- from My Utmost For His Highest ).

No matter what your faith background or where you are on your journey with God (if you have chosen that path) live expectantly today.  Do something uncomfortable and believe that the unexpected is going to bless you beyond measure.  Be all that you can be, today and every day!  I'm going to step out and I'm going to pray that God breaks through in a magnificent way today!

Who are you?

Today is a special day - it is my sister's birthday!  We love birthdays in our family, at least we did growing up.  Back in the day our Dad would have flowers delivered to us at school on our birthday.  It was so exciting when the school office assistant would come to the classroom door and deliver a vase with a flower or two in it from Gordon Hill Nursery and a note with my name on it. Such was life growing up in a small town in the 1960s.  We also got to choose the menu on our birthday for dinner.  This was a special treat of mine, because the meal didn't have to be perfectly balanced, with all of the right colors on the plate and I ALWAYS eliminated salad from my birthday menu. On very special years, if things were going well in our parent's business, we actually got to go out to a restaurant, now that was a special treat!

I am amazed at how many people, particularly women, that refuse to state their age.  I have never been one to be upset at the age that I am, I'm thankful that I'm still here.  I do have other weird and quirky things about age and years though - like I don't care for odd numbered years.  I find that interesting because I was born in an odd numbered year (1957). I started thinking about this about 20 years ago.  In one of my journals I made some lists of events in my life that happened in odd numbered years, versus even numbered years.  I've never been too concerned about the age I am, it was more about the year. I don't set out each year expecting that it will be more good or bad, since I look at every year I am alive as a gift.  I do more reflecting, and looking back. In the course of my life the odd numbered years have held more difficulty for me than the even.  There are exceptions, yet it is interesting to me to look at patterns.  Once I started noticing those patterns I chose to try and reverse them - to make each year more 'good' than 'bad'. 

Once I get my mind thinking on something I may ponder it for days!  Why do people not want to state their age? Why is being 30, 45, 50 or 65 something to be ashamed or embarrassed about?  It is just a number.  I have known men and women that actually will go to great lengths to not reveal their age, I'm sure you have too.  I always want to ask them why, what is the big deal?  This isn't something that is new to me, I remember when I was in my 20s and my friends started turning 30 - you would have thought it was the end of the world!  

2015 was an interesting one for me, in regards to age, for another reason.  My Dad was 58 when he died in 1980.   2015 was the year I turned 58.  I spent the entire year thinking about how young he was, all of the things he missed.  He basically was not here, other than in my heart, for my adulthood.  I also thought a lot about my Mom last year.  We marked the 5 year anniversary of her passing.  She lived to be 87.  My mother was vibrant, hard working and very much a lady.  She worked well into her 70s - she was talented and smart and though we clashed in our personalities, sometimes with loud bangs, I admired her.  Her last few years of life she was a shell of herself. Suffering from Parkinson's and related dementia she was silent and relied on others for her care.  It happened so quickly, it seemed one day she was busy with her social groups, enjoying our family events and the next she was immobile.  

All of us, God willing, will have a birthday anniversary this year.  Chances are though, that someone reading this will not.  Illness, accidents and unexpected natural catastrophes take lives.   As I started my new journal for 2016 (yay, an even numbered year!) my focus is to NOT focus on that fact, the even number, but to do my best to be appreciative of each day. I wrote a few days ago that my word of the year is enough.  I want 2016 to be enough in every way: enough time with friends and family. Enough time to relax and appreciate how very blessed I am and not focus on what is lacking.  I want to celebrate birthdays with friends and sit around campfires in new places.  I want to create warm knitted items, then travel somewhere cold to wear them!  I want to cook good food then sit down with family and friends to enjoy it together.  I want enough.

Celebrate your birthday anniversary!  Rejoice in each year, the good and the not so good. They have made you the person you are today.  Then look around you and tell the people in your life why they are important to you too.  We all make a wonderful patchwork quilt of life. One of my goals for 2016 is to do just that, tell the people that are important to me that they ARE, important and I love them, because they are part of my stitched together life quilt and without them I wouldn't be the same.

Word of the Year!

Every year I pick a phrase or word to focus on.  I rarely share that with anyone, I just write about it in my personal journals.  I have done this since i was a young girl with my first little diary. Many times, just like other New Year's resolutions, I loose focus early on and may revisit my word or phrase a few times over the next 12 months.  One year I picked a word each month to focus on and I would choose a word that started with the same first letter as each current month.  I remember one word vividly - it was in April of 2007 and my word was angst.  I was experiencing a lot of angst in my life at that time, but I also would let that spill over into my prayer time. I would pause and reflect on others around me that were suffering angst and pray for them - thus taking the focus off of my own problems.

In 2015 my mantra has been simplify and declutter.  If you glance back through some of my blog posts from last spring you can read about part of that journey.  It all started in a search for 'something' and needing to simplify in order to hopefully find it.  I have been on a spiritual journey, a cleansing of sorts - and unlike many other things I have actually been carrying on through the year. Some of the closets that I purged are still in good order (long way to go!). Over the last few days I had even considered just keeping the simplify as my focus for another year, to continue on.  I will be doing that, but my thoughts are shifting just a bit more.

My word for 2016 is ENOUGH.

I am who I am.  I have fought that for so long and part of my journey has been trying to be someone else.  Thinking that I had to fit into a mold that was expected of me.  I have made some good progress over the last 2 years in discovering me - but there is more to be done. By constantly reminding myself that I am enough perhaps the demons of envy, doubt, frustration and sadness can be kept somewhat at bay.  I had also been considering the word balance.  After careful consideration I settled on enough.  Balance is similar - finding balance in life between all things that pull at me.  As soon as enough came to mind it was clear - that is the word!  Not too much, not too little - enough.  

Enough time with family - enough time alone - enough to meet needs - enough to give. When you think about it, by being in balance, there is enough!  The biggest challenge, at least for me, is letting myself determine what is and isn't enough, not the world.  To not be swayed by others.  I will look to God and find my direction in Him - to be the person He created me to be and believe that I am enough. The spiritual part is actually pretty easy for me, it is the every day living part that gets hard.  

When choosing a word for the year I also look at synonyms - some of the ones for enough are : abundant, adequate, ample, full, sufficient, and suitable.  There are some negative ones as well:  fed up, last straw etc.  "I've had enough!"  I ponder all of these things when I choose a word of the year (WOTY).  It was because I had had too much of some things that I started on the simplicity journey.  Too many clothes, too many knick-knacks, too many cookbooks, too much debt......the list goes on!  I envisioned my daughter having to go through all of my things and saying "why in the world did she save THIS!?"  I realized that many things I have been placing value on really don't matter to anyone else. This doesn't mean that I will live in a stark and barren home with nothing around me, it simply means I'll examine my 'why' and settle on what is enough - for me.

All through Advent, and now Christmastide, I have been asking myself and others the question "Why Jesus"?  I'm still asking myself "why isn't God enough?"  Along with my WOTY I will ponder this passage 2 Corinthians 12.  Paul was a working man!  After his conversion, when he quit killing Christians and instead was Christ's most loyal witness and follower he wrote often about his experiences with God.  Paul was given a 'thorn in his flesh' and though much has been speculated through the centuries as to what that actually was, he wrote these words about his affliction:

2 Corinthians 12:6-10 If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won't do it, because I don't want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message, even though I have received such wonderful messages from God. So to keep me from boasting and becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.  Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness."  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.  That's why I take pleasure in my weakness, and in the insults, hardships, persecution and troubles that I suffer for Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I want Jesus to 'be enough'.  Only I can make him so.  What is enough for me, may not be for you.  All I know is that I must work on ME.  My WOTY is not just a catchy little thing to talk about, as I rarely do - it is something that I ponder and quietly write about yet hopefully prompt changes in myself that God would approve of.   Rather than resolutions that I rarely keep, or grand plans to make big changes that fail and then cause me to plunge into depression again - focusing on enough seems like a good path to take!

Decluttering is what got me started - finding my purpose is what is keeping me going.  What will your 'word of the year' be?  

Is that all there is?!

Wow, what a few days!  Mostly centered around weather - here in central Texas things have changed drastically.  From nearly 80 degrees on Christmas Eve, with our house open and sun shining, this morning there is a wind chill of 25 and a large portion of this state and others has been devastated by killer tornadoes, a record setting blizzard and treacherous weather. How quickly things change!

I see many people 'change' just as dramatically.  It is as if the clock strikes midnight on December 26 and "ok, i'm done - Christmas is over".  The boxes are packed up, the lights are taken down and in some cases our patience, tolerance, generosity and "peace and goodwill" go back in the attic as well. For some it may be easier to wait and hope for a miracle when surrounded by the beauty of the Christmas season, but when the sparkles and glitter are boxed away our despair or doubt creeps back in. 

Christmastide (Christmas Day through January 6 - Epiphany) is our real season of giving. We often hear the story presented as the 3 wise men, or 3 kings that came to visit baby Jesus in the stable.  (They were astronomers and traveled a long distance, arriving to see Jesus when he was at his home, and when you study the story you will learn that they first visited Herod, thinking that this new "king" must be at the royal home.  What followed could be an entire book!) Herod is so threatened he orders the killing of boys under age 2. Violence and fear are certainly not what we expect from this Christmas story.  There are also accounts that had to have been troubling for Mary and  Joseph.  Here they were with their new baby and believing that he was the child of God, sent to save their people.  When they take young Jesus to be presented at the temple this is the record of an encounter they have with a man named Simeon:

Luke 2:25-35 At that time there was a man from Jerusalem named Simeon. He was righteous and devout and was eagerly waiting for the Messiah to come and rescue Israel. The Holy Spirit was upon him and revealed to him  that he would not die until he had seen the Lord's Messiah. That day the Spirit led him to the Temple. So when Mary and Joseph came to present baby Jesus to the Lord as the law required. Simeon was there.  He took the child in his arms and praised God, saying "Sovereign Lord, now let your servant die in peace, as you have promised.  I have seen your salvation, which you have prepared for all people. He is a light to reveal God to the nations and he is the glory of your people Israel!"  Jesus' parents were amazed at what was being said about him.  Then Simeon blessed them, and he said to Mary, the baby's mother, "This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, but he will bring joy to many others. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him. As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul".

Not exactly comforting words!  Also not the feel good story we hear all through Advent. So now the work of Christmas begins. As we wade through the days to come, starting to focus on a new year and what it will hold for each of us, this is when we each should really ask "why Jesus"?  It is easier to pack that manger scene away, along with all of the other decorations, and settle back to whatever was troubling you before and just pick it back up. We also have new worries and setbacks - people dying just one day after Christmas in horrible night time tornadoes, flooding and more.  There have also been people dying each day from violence, starvation and homelessness all over the world each day that we have been celebrating Christmas.  Our focus has simply been on the sparkles and 'fun' that have filled our homes.  Just as Simeon stated, Jesus came "to bring joy".   He was sent as a sign from God, and our job is to recognize that 'sign' and show it to others.  "Here's your sign!" 

I have some in my family that already have taken down all their signs of Christmas.  The decorations are nicely packed away and homes are neatly back in order.  I will do the same over the next few days, first my Santa things will be put away, and I will arrange some snow and winter decor in those areas. Though we have 25 wind chill today, and it really feels like winter, I also know that this is Texas - and we could be back in flips flops in a few days!  So I like my home to at least look like winter for a little while.  I also have some things I leave out all year - like this quote from Charles Dickens that hangs in my kitchen:

I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year. C. Dickens

I look at this pretty stitchery, hanging above my pantry, quite often.  When we 'honor' something we are giving it importance.  So by reminding myself throughout the year of those things I have been writing about, I'm more likely to make them part of my daily life: loving, giving, serving.  It's not always easy!  As we see people that have lost everything in these horrific tornadoes, it would be easy to say "Why, God?!"  The promise of Christmas is not that life will be easy.   As Simeon also stated, many will oppose him, and the deepest thoughts of our hearts will be revealed.  What are the deepest thoughts that will be revealed in you?  As you put away your "Christmas cheer" will judgment, sarcasm and criticism be revealed? Or will compassion and acceptance be the sign you carry?  As we journey through these next few days of Christmastide to complete our journey, keep asking "Why Jesus" and listen for what you can learn from him- then carry your sign proudly!

Why Jesus?

I wrote these words back in November at the beginning of this advent season:

So why Jesus?  Why revisit this ancient story and all of the promise of a better life? For me, because that is exactly what I need!  A sense of hope that there is something way bigger than cancer, divorce and horrid terror killings.  A realization that the God I put my trust in, and decided to follow back in 1971 at a revival on my knees, is the same God that gives hope to a world in despair. 

I pray my writings this year will spark a little bit of wonder in your life too.  That you will look deeper than the sparkle and hype of the Christmas season and look at the real reason, and maybe we all can have an answer come December 24 of "why Jesus" is the real solution we are seeking.

I don't know if any of you have a better answer to "why Jesus", but I know it has helped me to focus on something, and someone, outside of myself these last few weeks.  My prayer as I wrote each day, and today, is that you have found some peace for your soul.  That when you ask "why Jesus" or "why, Jesus!?" God will provide just what you need.

Today I will finish preparations for a time with my small family.  I will miss my large extended family.  I will cook, I will clean and I will attend worship.  I will sit quietly in this chair and have a moment with God and pray for those that will seek Him today.  May YOUR day be blessed by God no matter what it looks like for you.  Gather with others and praise his name on this CHRISTmas. Keep asking "why Jesus" and He will show you.

From my home to yours.......blessings on this day and always.  If you have awakened a new curiosity, and have a longing to learn more about God and Jesus, I would love to hear from you.    Merry Christmas~  Connie

NOT seeing is believing!

Which one of your human traits makes it hardest for you to accept and believe in the miracles and goodness of God? What gets in the way?

Yesterday, much to my dismay, was a very warm and sunny day in central Texas. As I went outside to hang some clothes on the line I could see some of my Christmas decorations had been moved.  They were in completely different locations, and I then noticed that the trees were bending in the wind (at least I knew my clothes would dry faster!). We can't see the wind, but we can certainly see and feel the impact that wind has.  I looked through many pictures of wind-bent trees and this one stuck with me:

A wide open space, nothing around those Hawthorn trees, but the wind has shaped them. They sink their roots deep into the ground for nourishment and they take what is 'blown' at them and continue to live. I can't see the wind, but I believe in the power and impact it has because I can see the result.  

Sometimes those forces that are unseen are so powerful, yet so destructive.  Winds so strong that the tree could no longer stand.  Perhaps it was because the roots had been compromised from the house and other structures so close by.  Or perhaps a combination of the wind, pounding rain, and other things in the area cause the tree to just give way. 

Life is like that, for us too.  As we wait for this joyous day and remembrance of God sending His Son to us, we either sink our roots deep into the rich soil of that love and hold on and bend - no matter what comes, or we sometimes have that unseen 'wind' of grief, illness, debt, sadness, hate, disappointment and unrealized expectations all crowd in on us at once and in the perfect storm the tree crashes down, with nothing to hold it up anymore.  

2 Corinthians 2:7-16  (Paul's message) No, the wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God - his plan that was previously hidden, even though he made it for our ultimate glory before the world began. But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord. That is what the Scriptures mean when they say "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him."  But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God's deep secrets. No one can know God's thoughts except God's own Spirit. And we have received God's Spirit (not the world's spirit) so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.  When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit's words to explain spiritual truths.  But people who aren't spiritual can't receive these truths from God's Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can't understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means. Those who are not spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. "Who can know the Lord's thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?" But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.

As you go about this day, many of you  are probably hustling and bustling with last minute preparations of the season.  Or maybe you are one that is getting lonelier by the day as others are so busy with their plans - ponder for awhile what you have learned about God that is deep in your heart and you know is true but cannot explain rationally. Are you comfortable with truths you cannot explain?  What bends you? How do you hold up when the unseen and forceful winds come?  If you are one that is toppling over and just can't stand anymore - look at that tree above again (the one bending in the wind) There is a second tree right next to it that is also bent but still holding on. Look around you - where do you see another "bent tree"? Perhaps you can reach out to each other.  Or perhaps that other tree you see is the one who is getting ready for church each week while you sit home, you know the struggles in their life yet they seem to be handling them much differently then you.  Or even bigger, perhaps your friend appears to be standing tall and strong and faithful, yet there are internal struggles that you know nothing about.  Let God reveal His unseen truths to you. Rest in the Mystery that is God and this miraculous birth of Jesus that we celebrate. Without asking for understanding, welcome God.  It's ok to not understand what you don't see - simply sit with God and welcome Him in silence.

Waiting............

Things we wait for:  Lights to change, doctors to see us, cookies to bake, bread to rise, loved ones to call us, war to end, gardens to grow, vacations to begin, paychecks to arrive, children to come home, rain, diseases to be cured, grief to lessen, babies to be born..........

Jesus to return.

What do you value? In what do you place your hope? 

We wait..........