"I'm watching you......."

The members of my family use a phone tracking app called Life 360. My husband, daughter, son-in-law, granddaughters, and I all have this app installed on our phones. We first installed the app when we lived in cities a 4-hour drive apart and wanted to be able to see where we each were on long drives to each other's homes.  My daughter installed it on the girl's phones as a way to see where they were when away from home.  Since my husband doesn't drive anymore he feels connected to all of us when he is at home alone and can track us on the app. At first glance, it is a good idea and gives all of us peace of mind when we are apart.

Lately, I have been realizing that it is a source of anxiety for me. While I like being able to see where 'all my chicks' are, I also noticed that I drift into worry at times.  When my teen granddaughter is spending the night with a friend and my mind starts to go to places like "are the parents home? Is she safe?" If she forgets to charge her phone and I see that her battery is low I start to panic thinking that no one has landlines anymore, what if there is an emergency!? 

The app also only provides a partial picture. An example lately was when I was out and about and I got a text from my husband "Are you at Sam's Club?"  He knows I don't shop at Sam's, (I am a die-hard Costco girl!) but the app was showing that I was at Sam's.  In reality, I was at the women's shelter thrift store that is in the shopping center next to Sam's, but because the app recognized Sam's that is where it said I was. 

About two weeks ago a troubling new feature to the app popped up.  It is called bubbles.  My granddaughter was spending the night with a friend, and when I glanced at the app I saw that she was in a 'bubble'.  The bubble was designed to put an invisible shield around a 25-mile radius of the person's location.  She didn't even know that the app had applied the bubble to her location.  As admins of the account, the adults were able to remove that bubble, but I realized that one button setting could change the entire way the app was used. Our purpose in using the app is to give us peace of mind that our loved ones are safe, but just like in life, there are always ways to get around a system and hide our actions.

I have nothing to hide from my loved ones.  On the other hand, what if I am planning a surprise, I stop at a favorite store to get a treat and gather with others at a location for the surprise - I either turn my location off and cause anxiety for those watching, or I spoil the surprise because they are 'watching'. I watch maps of my family driving and wonder where they are going, who are they going to see, will they be safe? The anxiety grows, all because of a tool designed to provide peace of mind. I shudder to think if my parents had been watching my every movement as a young adult! If I question my adult child too much, soon she will turn the app off to avoid my questioning.

This morning I got thinking about God having the ultimate Life 360.  He sees it all. He not only knows all that we are doing but also what we think. He sees the interaction of all the world. I can't imagine what he must see when he looks at the direction we choose and the places we stop. He probably shakes His head sometimes and thinks "There is a better route, why don't you take it?"  or "Where are you going child, don't you know that is dangerous?"

Each of us chooses the path we walk and the stops we make along the way. Even though I feel the need sometimes to turn off my tracking app, I don't like being constantly watched, I also am very thankful that I have a God that never stops watching me.  He allows me to make choices, and sometimes I have to suffer the consequences of those choices. If I had listened more intently to Him perhaps some of the sufferings would have been avoided.  When I look at the paths my children and grandchildren take I often see there is a better way.  But just like God does with me, I have to allow them to make their own choices, and sometimes that means suffering consequences.  My desire is to spare them harm and pain, just as God wants to spare me from those things.  Yet the choice is always mine.

We will continue to use the tracking app, but I will do my best to see it only as a tool and not as a cause of worry. I must build trust, banish fear and always turn to God and believe that He is watching in all things and I pray that my family turns to Him as well. 

Proverbs 15:3 The Lord is watching everywhere; keeping his eye on both the evil and good. New Living Translation

 

I'm back!

I've not been gone; simply many life changes in the four years since I last posted an entry. Here are the highlights:

Both Waylon and I have fully retired from full-time work.

We sold our home in the country and moved across the state to settle in Montgomery, TX.

We have traveled the road of various health issues (Waylon), and I have moved into the realm of the "old" as I passed the 65 milestone.

We are closer to extended family, and our daughter and her family have also recently moved near us. God continues to bless us in ways beyond our imagination.

The most significant change for me was a decision that didn't come easily. I have always loved school and learning. I could be a perpetual student and love every minute of it. However, I decided to return to formal schooling a few months ago. I am enrolled in a degree plan for a Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling. I recently spoke at my Bible study group to about fifty women and used the examples of women who accomplished monumental things late in their lives. Some days I realize deeply that most of my life is behind me. Yet, on other days I am filled with the desire to keep growing and expanding my life in ways that may seem foolish to others. What will I do with a Master's degree at my age? What benefit will it be to others? I'm not pursuing it to accomplish any one thing. I'm simply following the prompting from God to do it!

The first-course submission was a challenge. My writing wasn't up to current guidelines. Did you know it is no longer standard to put two spaces after a period in writing? My typing instructions from the 1970s are all wrong. That was just one aspect of returning to school; others were time management, reading detailed texts, and sometimes questioning why I was doing this. The satisfaction of learning new things and expanding my knowledge of subjects is a wonderful benefit of being a student once again.

Yesterday I stopped by the local yarn shop to pick up some supplies for a contract knitting piece. As I was visiting with the ladies in the shop I made the comment "Why did I think going back to school at age 65 is a good idea?" One of them said to me "You would still be 65 if you didn't, so why not do something you love?" That is my challenge to you today - do what you love. Listen for God's prompting in your life and after prayerful consideration follow that prompting. 

In Bible study at Lone Star Cowboy Church ladies' ministry, we are delving into the book of Ecclesiastes. The third chapter is a well-known one, with a long list of seasons.  There is a time for everything, and though our lives change in circumstance, our ability to adapt through it all is a chance to explore what God may have in store for us. I may be having to relearn grammar rules, but the more important thing I'm learning is that God is not done with me yet! Every day is a new day to learn, grow, love, and serve Him. How will you do that?

Romans 12:2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. New Living Translation