Who are you?

Today is a special day - it is my sister's birthday!  We love birthdays in our family, at least we did growing up.  Back in the day our Dad would have flowers delivered to us at school on our birthday.  It was so exciting when the school office assistant would come to the classroom door and deliver a vase with a flower or two in it from Gordon Hill Nursery and a note with my name on it. Such was life growing up in a small town in the 1960s.  We also got to choose the menu on our birthday for dinner.  This was a special treat of mine, because the meal didn't have to be perfectly balanced, with all of the right colors on the plate and I ALWAYS eliminated salad from my birthday menu. On very special years, if things were going well in our parent's business, we actually got to go out to a restaurant, now that was a special treat!

I am amazed at how many people, particularly women, that refuse to state their age.  I have never been one to be upset at the age that I am, I'm thankful that I'm still here.  I do have other weird and quirky things about age and years though - like I don't care for odd numbered years.  I find that interesting because I was born in an odd numbered year (1957). I started thinking about this about 20 years ago.  In one of my journals I made some lists of events in my life that happened in odd numbered years, versus even numbered years.  I've never been too concerned about the age I am, it was more about the year. I don't set out each year expecting that it will be more good or bad, since I look at every year I am alive as a gift.  I do more reflecting, and looking back. In the course of my life the odd numbered years have held more difficulty for me than the even.  There are exceptions, yet it is interesting to me to look at patterns.  Once I started noticing those patterns I chose to try and reverse them - to make each year more 'good' than 'bad'. 

Once I get my mind thinking on something I may ponder it for days!  Why do people not want to state their age? Why is being 30, 45, 50 or 65 something to be ashamed or embarrassed about?  It is just a number.  I have known men and women that actually will go to great lengths to not reveal their age, I'm sure you have too.  I always want to ask them why, what is the big deal?  This isn't something that is new to me, I remember when I was in my 20s and my friends started turning 30 - you would have thought it was the end of the world!  

2015 was an interesting one for me, in regards to age, for another reason.  My Dad was 58 when he died in 1980.   2015 was the year I turned 58.  I spent the entire year thinking about how young he was, all of the things he missed.  He basically was not here, other than in my heart, for my adulthood.  I also thought a lot about my Mom last year.  We marked the 5 year anniversary of her passing.  She lived to be 87.  My mother was vibrant, hard working and very much a lady.  She worked well into her 70s - she was talented and smart and though we clashed in our personalities, sometimes with loud bangs, I admired her.  Her last few years of life she was a shell of herself. Suffering from Parkinson's and related dementia she was silent and relied on others for her care.  It happened so quickly, it seemed one day she was busy with her social groups, enjoying our family events and the next she was immobile.  

All of us, God willing, will have a birthday anniversary this year.  Chances are though, that someone reading this will not.  Illness, accidents and unexpected natural catastrophes take lives.   As I started my new journal for 2016 (yay, an even numbered year!) my focus is to NOT focus on that fact, the even number, but to do my best to be appreciative of each day. I wrote a few days ago that my word of the year is enough.  I want 2016 to be enough in every way: enough time with friends and family. Enough time to relax and appreciate how very blessed I am and not focus on what is lacking.  I want to celebrate birthdays with friends and sit around campfires in new places.  I want to create warm knitted items, then travel somewhere cold to wear them!  I want to cook good food then sit down with family and friends to enjoy it together.  I want enough.

Celebrate your birthday anniversary!  Rejoice in each year, the good and the not so good. They have made you the person you are today.  Then look around you and tell the people in your life why they are important to you too.  We all make a wonderful patchwork quilt of life. One of my goals for 2016 is to do just that, tell the people that are important to me that they ARE, important and I love them, because they are part of my stitched together life quilt and without them I wouldn't be the same.

Bah......humbug

HUMBUG DAY

When the stresses of the holiday season have piled up, many of us start to feel a bit like Scrooge.  This day was created to allow us an opportunity to express our frustrations.  Humbug Day is celebrated annually on December 21.

I often use "national day of ..." calendars and postings in my Jamberry business.  It is fun to find images of certain events and pair nail art wraps with those.  People love to go all out in costumes for events and holidays.  Take the current Star Wars obsession!  Clothes, toys, parties and even other shows are talking about Star Wars.  I  had some friends of mine (more than one actually) dress their entire family up in costumes in order to attend a viewing of the new movie. I would say that it is a safe bet that many living rooms will be filled with Star Wars items when packages are unwrapped in just a few days.

Here is another one - sports teams or schools.  Oh my stars and garters...... people are over the top when it comes to their sports teams and I'm probably going to step on some toes with this one, the world is NOT going to come to an end if you don't wear a certain color or if 'your team' isn't worshiped by everyone else around you.   Worship is a powerful word, and for most of us the first thing that comes to mind is church.  When I got out my favorite dictionary (Webster's 1828 American Dictionary) I found 7 definitions of worship as a noun and several more as a verb.  I am going to list some of these and I would like you to reflect on where you place God, a favorite movie, your college or pro team, another person, a family tradition or a treasured possession in the definition:

Worship: to adore; to pay divine honors to; to honor with extravagant love and extreme submission.  To perform acts of adoration.   (I don't think worship is too strong of a word when I see some people that will miss all other things in order to watch their team play or to completely arrange schedules to revolve around a movie premier).

Yesterday as my husband and I were watching some football (since there was nothing else much on!), the announcers were talking about the upcoming schedule as the pro season winds down.  There will be a game on Thursday night, as Thursday Night Football has become routine over the last few years. Thursday night will be a little different at our house, and it has nothing to do with football! Christmas Eve is Thursday night.  I think it is safe to say that there will be hundreds of thousands of people sitting in a stadium watching that game - some even baring their chest, painted in the team colors and waving bizarre signs and acting crazy with hopes of being seen on the Jumbotron.  Still countless others will be watching on televisions - instead of sitting in a church pew and then around a meal table to discuss the reason we even call that day Christmas Eve. There will also be some that will 'worship' at the altar of certain family traditions, at all costs, when all reference to Jesus has been lost somewhere along the way.

It is evident that I love this season and all that goes along with it.  My home is decorated and I practice traditions that have been passed along for many years.  My "scrooge' comes out in other ways.  I wrote earlier in the season on this blog about expectations vs reality.  Time changes things and as I get older I realize that I don't like that very much.  I long for 'the way things were'.  I'm not going to dwell too much in the scrooge mode though.  Writing this entry today is one way to let it go.  To release the frustration that not everyone sees things the way I do. To ask "why, Jesus?"  Not "why Jesus" but WHY, Jesus do I feel this way?"  Why is it easier to worship things, money, athletes, events, traditions, and it is so hard to simply stop and worship you?  YOU , the one that can and does make the biggest impact on my life?  WHY do I push you so far down the list?  

For many people, me included, this next few days will be filled with activities.  My 6 year old granddaughter is out of school so she will be spending days with me.  I do  have things planned, things like baking and wrapping and anticipating.  As I write this my  'anti scrooge' plan is to slow down a bit. Take some time as we do all of these things to just talk, to visit with her about Jesus. To perhaps build up the spiritual traditions that I hold so dear, and lessen the material ones.  She has difficult things going on in her life, the first year of journeying through back and forth visitations with families as her parents figure out 'divorce'.  The family isn't going to look the same for her ever again, but Jesus will. How can I make Jesus more real for her, to sustain her through the many frustrating things that are to come in life? How can I share, on her 6 year old level, that believing in something you can't see is a comforting thing when the things you do see are so upsetting? How can I 'be Jesus'  to the neighbor, a young woman that battled through breast cancer alone, and all she wants is a mate? How can I comfort my friend that will face her first Christmas without her daughter that she lost to drugs?  It would be much easier to just immerse myself in the pretty part of the season, but these painful and dark things are really more the norm -all of them will still be here when all of the wrappings are discarded on Christmas morning.  Now ask yourself, "why Jesus"?  Because in all of it - he will be here, he IS here, and that is why we call it CHRISTmas.

Have a little moment - get your 'scrooge out' on Humbug Day, then draw closer to the One who waits to hold you up and help you through.

It's all about family

The story of Ruth is somewhat difficult for us to understand.  The laws of the land had strict guidelines about family provision, and while some of the treatment of women and how things were done were (and sometimes still are) very foreign to us, it was commonplace during that time and that land.  Naomi was concerned for her daughter in law and her future.  While at first glance the story may see that Naomi is scheming and conniving in securing a future for Ruth, she really was just going back to all that she had known and been taught according to how families provide for one another. I think our society needs a little more of that these days.

Much of this won't make sense unless you read the continuing story of Ruth.  Today in Chapter 2:21-3:18 Naomi instructs Ruth to go the next step, to "go to the threshing floor (where they had finished working after the harvest) and uncover Boaz's feet and lie down". One of my study Bibles states it this way: Although Naomi's instructions may appear forward, the moral integrity of Naomi and Ruth is never in doubt.  Naomi's instruction to Ruth is clearly for the purpose of appealing to Boaz's kinsman obligation.  (Boaz was a relative of Naomi's husband).  Ruth's actions were a request for marriage. Ruth was a stranger to Israelite customs, so she had to be told in detail how to make her appeal to her kinsman for protection and marriage.

Sometimes we just need to listen to our mama!  (Or in this case, mother in law.) I really don't like people telling me what to do, but boy howdy do I like to tell others what to do!!  I know this about myself, and it takes conscious effort to reign it in sometimes.  I grew up with wise and kind parents, they taught with gentle instruction, but I knew where the 'line' was and not to cross it.  I also watched them, I listened to them and my good qualities were passed along from my parents as I'm sure theirs were from their parents.  I realize, now that I am older, that the values I hold most dear are those that were passed along from my parents. When I read the accounts in the Bible they seem so foreign, written in a land and time that I can't imagine being part of.  The customs are so very different than ours.  Then I started studying the Bible in depth, and went on to take as many courses as possible, ultimately working as a Christian Educator. The more I studied, the more I wanted to know!  When you start reading the Bible as a whole, as God's redeeming story that is recorded for us, then it all starts to fall in place. Just like the family tree of Jesus being recorded in Matthew, these accounts of real people point us to God.  He is giving us that background so we can understand a little better the answers to our advent question of "why Jesus". One thing that really gets under my skin is how often people will pull one verse out and make their point, usually in an argument, about "this is what the Bible says". Doctrines, and whole belief systems have been formed by this practice. I challenge you to not give in to the throwing around of verses to make your point, but to really learn the whole story, to understand the process of kinsman redeemer and see why this is important to us.  To feel that connection to God and His provision for us. 

Boaz takes notice of Ruth because of her kindness to her mother-in-law and her hard work. What traits do you think people would mention in describing your close relationships? Take a moment today and sit in God's presence and give thanks for the lessons you have learned from the people who surrounded you in your early life.  May your prayer today be "thank you for those who formed me".  And one more thing: perhaps you are one that didn't have a good influence or the instruction in your family was oppressive and abusive - my prayer is that you read the story of Ruth even more deeply, to discover that there really is a loving Redeemer for you, and should you want to talk about "why Jesus" - that is exactly why I write.  Message me!! God loves you too...............

Box, box- what's in the box?!

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As I continue on the quest to de-clutter and simplify my life I started to tackle the 'guest' bedroom yesterday.  This room also serves as the sleeping quarters for our granddaughters when they visit (often).  Typical of a 1979 ranch style home, this small bedroom has an even smaller closet.  The closet doors were bi-fold, always coming off the track, so a couple of years ago I replaced them with curtains that didn't take up precious space and could be pulled closed to hide the extreme clutter.  This closet has been the dumping ground for everything from Christmas and holiday wrapping supplies, off season clothes, various boxes from multiple moves from our daughter and so much more.  I would find myself constantly stuffing things in this very small space until the curtain was 'flowing' out into the room and there was no denying that a mess was behind them.

 

Amid the 1980's glamour shots, my 1979 military enlistment portrait and my tap shoes from the years of adult tap class I found one box that I had forgotten about.  My mom died 5 years ago this month.  This cardboard banker's box held items that my sister and I had packed away, things Judy didn't want so I brought them home.  I found a pretty set of tiny ceramic plates that used to hang in Mom's kitchen, they will be hanging on my kitchen wall later today.  There were papers, photos, and other random things that I enjoyed looking at and reminiscing over. Then there was "the box".

 

I remember this box, a metal tool or cash box with a spin combination lock.  Of course, no combo to be found.  I tried every possible 3 number  combination that I could think of, nothing worked, so Waylon pried it open for me...... it was heavy and I couldn't imagine what was inside.  Perhaps a secret stash of money? (not likely). Some long forgotten jewels?  (also a long shot).  As he came walking back in from the garage with the pried open box I couldn't wait to see what was inside.......

 

 

The box was obviously my Dad's.  Since he died in 1980 I imagine that it had been closed for all these years.  Mom may have known what was inside, but maybe not.  Knowing her, she probably had the combination but had it filed away somewhere.  Nothing too exciting in this box, mostly tools (12, yes 12 standard head screwdrivers!) a couple of Phillips screwdrivers, some random picture hangers, light switches and a cute little tape measure in a metal case that I remember Dad carrying in his pocket. Nothing of great value but some things that we definitely can use. 

 

Then I noticed glued on the lid was a business card from my Dad's short job as an office supply salesman.  You see, Mom and Dad lost their lease and closed the tire shop that they had owned and managed in Jackson, CA  for most of my childhood.  He then went on a quest to provide - working odd jobs like office supply sales, bar tending and mostly sinking into depression because this hard working man wasn't 'providing' as he always had.  I remember some tough years at our home and now being 58, the age he was when cancer stole his life, I can really identify with what he must have gone through as we too struggle through life in these difficult financial times.  Seeing that business card reminded me that though his business dream was gone, my Dad never gave up.  He worked hard, played harder and was my hero. During those same years Mom started her career with a local title company and went on to work many years at a job she loved.  Opening this box gave me a little glimpse and reminder of them today, and I can hold those tools and imagine Dad's hands using them too.  Rest in peace Vic and Billie Koplin, you left Judy and I a great legacy and taught us about hard work. Just like my Dad when in his 50's, my work dreams have kind of dried up.  The job that I went to school for  (completing my Bachelor of Ministry at age 47) and loved- that  I thought I would retire from is gone.  I still imagine that my Christian ministry teaching, leading  and guidance will have its place in the work I do now. I work hard at several small businesses, to provide. Things change and now I'm working at life coaching and mentoring young women to follow their business and family dreams. I will never forget and I will continue to work hard to make my parents proud.

 

I pray that the few of you reading this will also never give up.  Follow your dreams. When and if they disappear, make new dreams- they may turn out better than you ever imagined.  I'm still dreaming......... 

 

Proverbs 22:6   Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. New Living Translation

 

 

Willa Mae Davis Koplin (Billie) and Victor Lloyd Koplin (Vic) on their wedding day.

July 3, 1947