It's not what you think - or is it?

Journeys are interesting! I have been reflecting on my life over the last year or so.  Actually, let's go back 45 years!  About that time I started my first outside the home paying job at the age of 16.  I worked at Sprouse Reitz five and dime store in my hometown of Jackson, CA.  That great store had been a favorite of mine when I was younger, located on Main St., I would walk there to get penny candy when I was spending time at my Dad's tire shop.  I knew I wanted to work there when I was old enough. At Sprouse Reitz I learned to measure fabric yardage through a runner to calculate the correct amount.  (I had been sewing since I was 9, so I knew the importance of a straight cut on the grain). 

I learned how to cut roller window blinds, measure out bulk candy, take inventory and walk those wooden floors checking that things had been put back in place properly.  I worked at that store all through high school summers and weekends, and even continued for a year after that as I attended trade school I still came home on weekends to put in time at the store. 

One of my favorite things was working the register, it looked much like this one:

I remember the wooden drawer, the 'ding' that the it would make when opening and of course how to properly count back change.  No computers in those days! My work life has been quite the winding road over these last 45 years. I pursued so many things, and all so different. Some would look at me and say "she has no career, she chases so many different things".  Here I am again, just starting a new job at the age of 61.  What I came to accept is that bills need to be paid! Things I thought I would do, or that I am trained to do don't always come together when living in a small town with limited opportunities.  Those that know me also know my 'loves' : ministering to people,  helping others, spending time with my family (especially the grand girls!) , knitting and of course Christmas. Yet who would have ever thought that all these years later, after my first job in retail, that I would  again be  working a cash register in a Christmas Store! 

As I worked a shift yesterday I realized many things.  When you work in a retail position it is all about helping people.  When it is in a Christmas Store (that also has wonderful holiday items for year round, gift items, collectibles and so much more) people just seem to be happy when they enter. Whether they are purchasing an extravagant hand made ornament, or a $2 trinket the customer loves a personal touch.  When I count back their change correctly or call them by name after reading their credit card, the personal touch often brings a  larger smile to their face.  Does my degree in administration, my certification as a Life Coach or my years of leadership schools and training make me over qualified to work a cash register or stock merchandise shelves?  No, quite the opposite!  All of my years at various professional endeavors has given me a wealth of information about people.  Do I still dream of my home business being successful so that I can travel and do some more things on my bucket list? Of course, but my purpose right now is being fulfilled.  I may not be seeing my granddaughters quite as often, or my house may not be as orderly as it was, but I can go to sleep at night knowing I'm working, I'm contributing, and perhaps making someone's day a little brighter when they have walked in to a store to purchase a fun item. 

In looking back I have worked at 4 or 5 different retail jobs scattered between other jobs of teaching, leading, mentoring and more. It's really all about the people. 

My favorite passage in Scripture is from Jeremiah. You will see this verse in many places, as people separate it out as a "life verse".   It has popped up in my life in many places, the most recent was when working with the Christian Women's Job Corps as the focus verse.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope" NLT  

I used to think of that verse and say "see, God doesn't want me to be where I am - He wants me to have what I want!"  Well, a dear friend in Bible study many years ago commented on that when I said it was my favorite verse.  At the time I lived in a town that  I really hated,  I actually lived there for 25 years.  Looking back some of my best, and closest, friends are those I met in that town.  I just knew I didn't belong there.  This friend said to me "read the whole passage!"  So I did, and have many times since then.  This verse is part of a long letter to the people who were exiled in Babylon.  His prophetic words to them? Prosper where you are.  Build homes, plant gardens, marry, have children and more. In other words live where you are.  Most importantly - pray.  All these years later, I never forgot that word from my friend Cathy.  Though I strongly believe that God wants the best for each of us, He also wants us to be fully present where we are, and recognize the blessings in our lives.

So here I am, 61 years old, working in a 'lowly' retail position again and loving it. Yesterday I met people from 8 or 10 different states, I talked to a man who lives just a few miles from my home town in California and above all I made people smile and they did the same in return. 

I'm thankful that I can still work and I trust that God has blessings for me in it.  You may be doing something you don't think is right for you, take a harder look - there is a blessing in there for you to find. 

Besides, who better than me to work in a Christmas Store!? (From the gal who keeps a countdown on her phone year round!)

Press On!

10 years ago this month, July 2008, I made a decision that changed my life. I was over 200 lbs, I had been overweight for most of the previous 20 years. I knew I had to make a change. In the midst of the horrid Texas summer heat I walked every day. I started an eating plan that was easy, healthy and effective.  Over the course of the next 9 months I lost over 60 lbs. In these last 10 years I have maintained that weight loss for nearly that whole time. The last  6 months have been a challenge. 

I received a diagnosis of a chronic arthritic condition that will not go away. I was in somewhat of a spiritual slump and my various work endeavors are not going as I had planned. Things had to change. My first step was nutrition - I chose a health and wellness route to treat the psoriatic arthritis. It hasn't always been easy, but it is certainly worth it.

Next was the spiritual - I made the decision to go back to a small group Bible study.  What was interesting about that, it was the first time in 20 years that I had attended a study that I wasn't leading!  It was great to simply be with a group of great women, share, pray and study together.

Work continues to plod along, not nearly at the rate I would like.  New opportunities are coming and I will be exploring ways to expand, grow and provide.

That brings me to this last week.  As I sat and grumbled to myself about the Texas heat, I thought back to 10 years ago and how I would faithfully walk during my lunch hour.  In the hottest part of the day, every day, I would put on my exercise clothes and I just did it.  This morning when I looked at the forecast and realized that we are in for a series of 100 degree days I first thought - "I'll just stay in".  But it wasn't 100 at 7am, it was in the 70s.  So I laced up those shoes and out I went!

The entire time I was walking that 2 and a quarter miles I was thinking about all that progress I made when it was HARD 10 years ago.  As I have inched up in weight I decided that there is no way I am going back to that.  It's harder now!  I'm 10 years older (61), I have a chronic condition that today is attacking my hands, one knee and one shoulder. It hurts. I make the personal choice not to take high power drugs that have a longer list of side effects than relief. I choose to put on my walking shoes, get out of my chair, and eat better foods.

Oh, and there is one more thing - I knit.  A lot! I can sit for hours and work with yarn and needles. I spend money on excellent quality yarn, but it's not nearly what I would have to spend on drugs that will do more harm than good.  Knitting moves those painful joints and in the end I have a beautiful item as a result, not more health problems.  The joints are pretty swollen today, so lots of knitting is in store.

Today on my walk I had a long talk with myself - I'm not going back to where I was 10 years ago.  I'm facing my obstacles and pressing on.  15 lbs to lose is WAY more manageable than 60+!  I'm back on the eating plan that helped me lose 60 lbs, and I will be back at my goal.

My challenge to you today - take a look at where you are and where you want to be. Whether it is a health goal, a spiritual desire or anything else - you can do it!  Come along on my journey, let's do it together.

⇝

Rebel ~ Non Conformist ~ Free Spirit ~ LABELS!

Happy Monday morning. I had to dust through some major cobwebs to get to this blog, it's been months since I have written.  That's just kind of how I roll.  Life is still flowing along with teaching, sharing good health and lots of knitting.  

This morning I woke up thinking about being different. This all started when I was reading a knitting blog. You see, I am left handed. I don't knit continental, I don't knit right handed, I just knit. I taught myself, and for the most part my finished product comes out looking like the intended pattern.  When I started making more difficult items, such as lace or garments that needed shaping I noticed the problem. In my research I found so many terms: mirror knitting, combination knitting, or even just "learn to knit right handed!".  I didn't switch how I write to my right hand, so why in the world would I adjust my hobby by doing it in an unnatural manner?

This led to more thought about myself in general. When I looked up the definitions of several words like rebel, non conformist and free spirit some of each definintion matched me. But none of them in entirety. Hippy is another label that my family fondly uses to refer to me, though they add the "old" in front of it!  Others will tell me that I'm not really a hippy, I have never and don't now use drugs, I'm not super liberal etc.  So, I'm not a hippy.  Same with rebel  - I have no plans to overthrow anything, yet I do rebel against many things!

Labels - there really are no labels that define me, other than true. I have learned to be true to who I am. If that means others won't understand me, or agree with me, that is ok. I have grown to love that I am different. I wear my hair long and gray, and not because I'm trying to make a statement.  I do so because I like it. I hold strong faith beliefs and rely on God for sustenance of my soul, even when others bash those beliefs. I hold my yarn 'wrong' when I knit, and have to adjust things to make it work because the world only writes patterns for right handed people....... but I knit for pleasure and enjoy making things for others.  I work in unconventional jobs, often not making much money - yet I enjoy the task of helping others. 

Mostly I love being me. For so many years I didn't.  I was trying so hard to be who I thought others expected me to be that I lost who I really was.  So sad that it took so long to just dwell in the place God created me to be and rejoice in it.  So I will keep on being an old hippy, rebel, free spirit, non conformist, conservative, Jesus loving, opinionated left handed knitter! 

Who are you?

Psalm 139:13-14  You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. NLT

Can you do one more thing?

How many things can you do in one day? When I look at my calendar or schedule I cram a lot into each 24 hour period. Yet I feel relaxed, happy and productive ~ not stressed. How can that be? There have been years in my past that I seemed to wallow in depression or sadness. When I look back at my journals I see a pattern of chasing after what I thought I was expected to do. 

When I look at my days now they are filled to the brim with many things:

*working at my ministry job with a local non-profit

*working my home business: living in health and wellness and helping others do the same

*knitting - a LOT!

*playing with and caring for my granddaughters regularly (can you call me car pool Grammy?)

*journeying through a diagnosis of a chronic condition that will take diligence in self care

All of these things weave together to fill my days. My heart tells me I'm finally on the right path. My heart helps me share what I've learned in my first 60 years of life with others that may be searching. My heart is calm, and learning to be content in my circumstance, but not satisfied to simply stay here.  Knitting provides a good analogy:

I can start with a ball of yarn that at first glance looks like a kind of 'bland' color choice.  The super soft llama fiber feels so good in my hand.  It beckons to be made into something that will wrap softly around my shoulders on a cool day or under the frigid air conditioning that is soon to be running here in Texas before too long. 

As I sit for hours, mostly at night, while the TV is on I can't simply watch.  I must create. With each stitch and loop of the yarn my arthritic knuckles stay pain free and loose.  That ball of yarn starts to take a shape and I can't seem to stop.  To get to the completion and see what some time and dedication can produce.

I usually choose projects that can be completed in a day or two - a small neck shawl, scarf or other quick to knit item.  This time it will be a massive shawl, enough to wrap myself in completely with this decadently luscious eco llama yarn. This will not be a quick finish. So many areas of life are like this project.  I start with a small thing - one phone call to someone that is looking for health answers for their family.  That blossoms into real changes and opportunity.  I start with a woman looking to improve her job skills, so she can provide for her family and at the end of a 10 week class I see a new woman who believes in herself and that she can accomplish great things. I start with a new condition (psoriatic arthritis) that most people will simply throw heavy pharmaceuticals at and hope they keep it at bay, where I choose to take the hard path of modifying my diet, learning what causes the inflammation and in the process other changes come about that are such blessings. 

It's all in how you look at it. While I could probably go work at some 9-5 office job or retail position to pay the bills, how much better is it to follow my heart and be content and happy? Some days are hard, not everyone is willing to take the hard road of following their heart. I keep sharing, I keep watching and I keep listening. If you are ready to follow your heart, I am ready to walk beside you. 

Ready to follow your heart?

Don't resolve - DO!

Happy New Year! Wow, 2018 ~ so hard to believe how the years fly by. A few years ago I was regularly leading weight loss meetings for a national company. I loved those members, and their stories touched my heart. I knew the struggle I went through to lose the weight myself, so to help others was a blessing. One member came to a meeting one week and handed out these slips of paper: "If I quit now I'll soon be back where I started, and when I started I so desperately wanted to be where I am now".

You can see from this pic that I still have that slip of paper. It has been on my desk, in my journal and currently it is displayed front and center on my refrigerator. Though I'm not currently reminding myself of this because of my weight, it applies to so many life circumstances. The reason I moved it to the fridge is because I need the focus to start the year. 2017 wasn't the 'best' in the books, but it was life. When I look back at this day last year, and compare, things are certainly different. Whether it is career, health, finances, family or relationships all of us can look back and see how things change. All of these areas intertwine and make us who we are. 

I'm sure many of you reading this are doing the annual "resolution, and this year I WILL!" routine. I had done that for so many years, but I stopped a few years ago. There is a proven statistic that those who make resolutions break them by January 15.  That is how I was about the weight loss.  I resolved, over the course of 20 years, to lose the weight. I had good intentions - and in some years I would do okay for awhile, but ultimately I quit. One day, and it wasn't in January, I simply looked in the mirror, talked to my doctor and said enough. It took me 9 months, but I lost 68 lbs.  For the most part it has been gone for nearly 9 years.  There are still ups and downs, but I didn't resolve, I just did it. 

So what is it you are resolving to do?  Look at the definition, to resolve is to decide to do something. To be earnest about doing it - but it really says nothing about actually doing it!  This all may just be my mind doing a bit of word play, but for me I am focusing on DO not RESOLVE.  I'm not going to just decide to accomplish things, I'm going to DO them.  I will make a TO DO list for each day, week, month and a long term one for the year. Each month I will adjust that list, I will look honestly at what I have done and what still needs to be done. 

So how does a to do list look different than a resolution list?

Think about resolutions you have made in the past: 

*I'm going to lose xx amount of weight

*I'm going to organize my closets and home

*I'm going to be a better person

etc, etc, etc

How might those look different? Here is how I approach it:

*I need to go to the grocery story, I will fill my cart with fresh foods, and have my recipes planned to enable us to eat healthier and better

*I will load 3 bags of clothing to donate to the thrift store today

*Today I will call 2 people that I haven't been in touch with in a long time

I know those are subtle differences, but when I write those things as a to do list in my calendar or journal I am much more likely to do them, and cross them off, than I am with a vague resolution. Often when written as a resolution I fail  and then get upset because I am failing. 

I started a new (and the last) business in January of last year. I have done many at home businesses over the years, but something just resonated with me about this one and I decided to "do". Am I where I expected and wanted to be a year later? No. But I'm certainly not where I was a year ago either. I'm not making a resolution to 'succeed' - I'm making to do lists. It is more than just making a list however, I'm doing the things on those lists. When you work for yourself it is easy to procrastinate, yet that too can be overcome with regular practice and determination. 

So, it may all just be word play, but I'm challenging you to make DO lists this year. Don't just resolve to accomplish things, do them.  Write them down and cross them off.  Did you know that when you write something down your brain actually processes it a different way?  If you have never been a list maker, try it.  There is great satisfaction is crossing things off and seeing what you have done.

One more thing to challenge you: a blessing jar. I have a Mason jar near my chair (part of what my husband calls my nest) and on that jar is a label that says  Blessings, Good News, Surprises.  I keep a small stack of slips of paper and as things happen through the year I write them down and put in the jar.  I don't look at them again until December 31.  This will be the 4th year I have kept my jar. Things like "I helped a new family make their home healthier", "Taught granddaughters how to bake cookies" "Received an unexpected phone call from a friend" "Lost 2 lbs this week" "Received a $500 bonus check" were just some from 2017.  Some things are big, some are little - but when something makes me happy or smile I write it down, with the date, and put it in the jar.  It really is fun to look back on Dec. 31 and many of the things have been forgotten, but bring a smile once again when you remember the positive things in your life.

For those ready to make their list!   

resolve

verb (used with object), resolved, resolving.

1.

to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine (to dosomething):

do1

verb (used with object),

1.

to perform (an act, duty, role, etc.):

Do nothing until you hear the bell.

2.

to execute (a piece or amount of work):

to do a hauling job.

3.

to accomplish; finish; complete: