Beauty in the weeds - Part Two!

It has been two weeks since I posted the pics of my weed choked flower bed (just one of many areas that needed/needs tending!)  After hard work with the help of my husband and granddaughters we managed to clear a few areas.  I worked primarily on that favorite flower area.  In that two weeks we have experienced heavy rain, a near freeze, hail and wildly fluctuating temperatures!  A typical spring season in central Texas.

If you scroll down and look at my previous post you can see where I started.  With most of the weeds pulled the mint and lovely Turk's Cap shrub are making their appearance.  The purple Wandering Jew is poking up strongly and the dianthus, lilies, Gerbera daisy and Mexican Heather all have new growth.  Sadly, my large stand of Snapdragons didn't make it this year after 8 years in the ground, sometimes things just die.   There is still a little more clearing to do, some supplements from the compost pile to be added and a top coat of fresh mulch, but with just a little bit of work and effort it already looks tremendously better.  

How have you been working on your 'weeds'? Have you been clearing away some of the junk to reveal the beauty that has been hidden? Did you reveal some things during lent but not completely clear out all of the weeds in order to feed, add-in and boost the growth of your spiritual being? Before too long, especially after all of the life giving rain, this bed will be thriving with beautiful plants and the butterflies, hummingbirds and bees will be visiting, not to mention the refreshment of some lemonade with that yummy spearmint!  My eyes, nose and other senses will be blessed by a little hard work of starting by clearing the weeds.  The pretty plants would still have been there, but they would be competing with the weeds that were choking and hiding the beauty.  Sometimes it is easier for me to let the weeds  take over.  If I just get started, like I did on this bed, it feels so good to clean things up.  Same with the soul.  Just get started! Pull at least one 'weed' today - forgive one person, contact one loved one that you have been missing, or remind yourself  in some way how much God loves you and the beauty that He placed inside of you.  Pull the weeds.

Another area that has burst forth takes very little care at all - my antique rose.  

This hardy plant by its very nature is a survivor.  Most of these antique roses have been cultivated and started from shoots and cuttings that have been taken from abandoned farm sites or roadsides. We have a wonderful place in Texas called the Antique Rose Emporium that specializes in these beauties.  They are rarely bothered by pests, diseases or climates that some fussier roses succumb to, they simply grow once tended just a bit after planting. We did, however, have to give this one some added support this year! Just a few days ago, before it burst into this bloom, this arbor was in danger of toppling over.  It was built 10 years ago from cedar on our property, and it has held up well.  The rose does such a good job of growing and thriving that it just put too much weight on the weary arbor.  My husband winched the post over to another fence and added additional support to the post, straightening the entire structure and securing it for the added weight of the well established rose.  Perhaps your spirit is like that rose.  It just keeps on, you feed it, you water it and you have given it a place to 'grow' but just like this beautiful rose, you may appear and actually be thriving and blooming but a strong support must be in place to continue.  That rose would have been just as beautiful and just as strong laying on the ground.  It would not have been ideal - it loves to climb on that arbor!  We can keep on like those hardy roses, and we can bloom year after year in our spiritual walk.  To be at our best we need to take care of our support system!  How are you doing that?  Scripture? Prayer? Fellowship? Worship?  

Check your support, and tend it.  Do what you need to in order to keep blooming!

1 Peter 5:10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.  All power to him forever. Amen!

Beauty in the weeds

As I was out on this cool, cloudy 60 degree morning feeding animals and checking on my vegetable plants I glanced over at one of my (previously) favorite garden beds.  It is choked with weeds, random tramples where the grand-girls have played hide and seek and just basic winter neglect.  I started weeding a couple of weeks ago, but severe allergies took over so I limited my time outside to minimal things needed to get my tomatoes and peppers planted and a few other necessary chores.  With just a bit of rain, beautiful sunny days and mild temps the flower bed is a cacophony of WEEDS!  But look a bit closer - my dianthus, Gerbera daisies and lilies are poking through.  In another section my purple wandering jew, fragrant spearmint and my other flowering shrub are poking out.  They also have enjoyed the sun, rain and temps.  If I can get past the swollen eyes, and perpetual dripping nose I may actually get out there and tackle the weeds!  

Now is a good time to pull the tender weeds  My husband is more inclined to weed whack or mow them down "they are green you know". But the weeds then continue to compete for nourishment with  the good plants that are there.  With just a little time and effort I can have this messy bed back to one of the prettiest places in the yard, but it probably won't be today!

I got to thinking about how we let the weeds in life choke out our beauty too.  The kindness, compassion, love and generosity is present within us yet we allow (or at least I do) anger, sadness, disappointment, worry and fear take hold and crowd out the beauty.  Why is it that we often give in to those weeds or just temporarily mow them down rather than make the extra effort to PULL THEM - rid ourselves of them, even though we know they aggressively come back?  Just like in gardening, dealing with our emotional weeds is hard, tiring and seems never ending.  If you are like me, it sometimes seems easier to just allow the weeds to take over - they are so strong and seem too hard to remove.  But thankfully the beauty usually wins out!  It may take a long time, it may look different once the weeds are pulled out, but it is so worth the effort.  When I finally tackle that weed bed I know there will be dirt, probably bugs, stickers and cracked hands. The result, however, will be a flower bed of fragrant blooms, favorite herbs and food for hummers and butterflies. Nourishment for sight and soul.  

That is how it goes with weeding our hearts too.  The hard part of getting started is so worth the result.  Pulling the weeds of things we let fester gives way to the beauty of peace, healing relationships and love.  I know I won't tackle that weed bed today - my puffy allergy eyes just can't take it quite yet.  So today I will tackle some more weeds in my emotional flower bed, looking for the beauty that I know is there.  What weed bed will you clean today?

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart".

Why I'm still going for simplicity

A year ago, in the season of Easter, I was in one of the biggest struggles of my life. Probably the deepest depression I had ever experienced, battling through envy, anger, jealousy and feelings of inadequacy in areas of life that most people didn't know about. I battled feelings and moods that bruised relationships and caused me to then go deeper into depression ~ yet I (for the most part) kept it in.  One of my self treatments was the pursuit of simplicity and de-cluttering in our home life, along with continuing the spiritual practices that I started last year during lent.  I wrote about many of those early steps in this blog over the last year, and I still love to follow Courtney Carver's blog "Be More With Less".  Though I doubt I will ever be a true minimalist, I do now blend many of those techniques and practices that she writes about into our life.  The areas that I started with like closets, cabinets and spaces around our home that were 'decluttered'  mostly remain that way, and it feels good!  We also eat simpler and healthier, which hopefully will give us more years to achieve our goals. There is  still a LONG way to go!!- 

I know I won't be a true minimalist  (at least I don't think I will!) because I still hold onto many treasured items, even though I know my child probably has no interest in them in the future. There will be some things she will have to make the decision on what to do with,  but there are far fewer of them than there were.

I wanted to share a bit of why I am still choosing simplicity.  I turned 59 a few weeks ago.  I am in really good general health, I feel good and for the most part, am very active.  I work at a job that most people don't understand, a direct sales company.  After years of education and a long time to achieve a degree, I'm not directly working in an area most people would think goes along with all of that.  A lot of people think of direct sales as those people that scream "come - make lots of money fast with me, reach your dreams" kind of people.  It can certainly be that, but not for me.  I am in for the long haul, and am using my education in a more subtle way.  My life coaching certification and teaching are used with my team. I am slowly building a group of women around me that are like-minded and want to provide for their families, not in a 'get rich quick' sort of way, but in a steady, solid, debt free manner. We sell a trendy beauty product - which for some may seem to go against my desire to go simple.  I have refined my clothing choices to what I really like and fewer items.  I get to express my style in a simple, inexpensive product that doesn't break the bank.  We continue to get rid of things in our home that we don't need, allowing us to enjoy the things that we do. That is just part of the simplicity process.

I watch my 71 year old husband continue to go to work every day, after retiring from a great career 10 years ago, because frankly - we need the money to maintain all of the things we acquired over the years, most of which is now outdated and worn.  Life happens - economies crash, family members have problems, and homes need upkeep.  I do what I do to help him.  We love our home and our 3 rough wooded acres.  Even though we don't have a finely manicured type of yard, or the latest and greatest decor, we have many areas that need constant care of weeding, repair and more. Our grandchildren love to come here and be in nature, play outdoors and get dirty!  Most days all I see are overgrown weed beds and designated areas that we intended for lush vegetable gardens and pretty scenery.  It gets harder and harder to do the necessary things like weed eating, mowing and  just cleaning up the clutter of things we have accumulated over 32+ years marriage.  So simplicity looks even more appealing.  It gets harder and harder to do the things needed for our home after we both work at our jobs during the day. So simplicity is my personal goal.  I work to rid ourselves of things!  Many younger folks work hard for more stuff, and that is okay, I do so to allow us to hopefully stop.  It is a hard cycle - to work really hard, often without seeing progress, in order to pay for things we don't need or want anymore so that we can enjoy less.  We will get there and I already see that some days we are able to camp an extra day, or sit on the porch and watch the kids play a bit sooner. As we continue to pay things off, clear our areas of things that need upkeep and have less we are very slowly  gaining more of what we desire - simplicity.  

I know it seems like a total contradiction, to some, that I am constantly on this computer and 'selling' - but I do it not to buy more stuff, but to really have less stuff. To allow us to not have to mow a large yard and to not have to watch my husband labor on things he would rather not do after a day of work he shouldn't be having to do anymore.  Simple looks really good, and we will achieve it.  Last year it looked impossible, and today the mountain still looks really big. It is important for me to look back, because so much progress has been made in a year, and it feels good!  It prods me to keep doing what I do because one day I will look up and I will be able to sit on that deck of a simple and modest mountain home, with  the view I desire and the time to enjoy it.  I won't have to worry that another chore needs to be done, or that I want the latest new thing - because I will have what I need and be able to enjoy it.  We all do things for different reasons. I wish I had gotten off of the treadmill of envious desire, accumulation and 'things' much sooner and the heartache of difficulty in 'keeping up' would not be in my life. I wish I had accepted being who I am,  discovering me like I wrote about in my book, earlier so that much of what I am struggling to overcome now would not be an issue.  If we all work hard to be who we are created to be at an earlier age we maybe wouldn't have so many struggling, sad and lonely elderly.  I am even more determined to choose simplicity in order to enjoy the remainder of my life the way I wish I had taken the time to enjoy in the first 58 years.  I'm slowly embracing the joy that comes in wanting less.

I would like to close today with a reading from one of my favorite authors and spiritual leaders that struggled with his own issues throughout his life:

Living Faithfully in an Ambiguous World

Our hearts and minds desire clarity. We would like to have a clear picture of a situation, a clear view of how things fit together, and clear insight into our own and the world's problems. But just as in nature color and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions, human life doesn't offer the clarity we are looking for. The borders between love and hate, evil and good, beauty and ugliness, heroism and cowardice, care and neglect, guilt and blamelessness are mostly vague, ambiguous, and hard to discern.  It is not easy to live faithfully in a world full of ambiguities.  We have to learn to make wise choices without needing to be entirely sure.

Henri Nouwen - Bread for the Journey, 1997

A mother's love letter

Almost 29 years ago a 19 year old young woman that I don't know, who lived a life far removed from anything I can imagine, cried ~ was desperate ~ felt alone and made a decision.

She chose life.

28 years ago today, March 28, 1988, our phone rang and we heard these words "It's a girl! She is yours!"

A new life!

A few days later we welcomed you to your new home, and a few months later we went before a judge and you had your forever home.  "We gotcha!!"

We celebrated life.

You grew, we laughed, you danced.......love.

Choosing life.

A bit over 7 years ago you gave me the honor of laboring with you and being present to experience birth like I never had the chance in my own life to do. To see you struggle, to stroke your hair and to welcome that precious child and watch her be placed in your arms:   Chloe Grace..... a mini you!

                    

            Chelsea - 4         Chloe - 4

             

                                 
                                                                                                                                            

You chose life.

We have navigated through the years with laughter, tears, struggles and fears....... the world of mental health and invisible illness that many in society, and some of those closest to us, never fully understand. People talk of a mother's love, and I know what that is. Powerful, intense, heart wrenching and deep.  Not born from my body, but my child in every way. From extravagant highs to excruciating lows yet all of it with love.

We continue to choose life.

Our circle grew. Though I wasn't present at her birth almost 4 years ago, my love grew with our feisty Ryleigh Jayne.  

Continuing to choose life.

28 years ago when you were born,  a young woman that I don't know chose life, my heart had a spot filled that God knew was just for you.  I thank God every day for her and for you. May you continue to choose life in all that you do, may you grow in the realization that I love you more than you know, yet God loves you even more than that.  

Happy Birthday Chelsea Lee........ I love you infinity and beyond!

                                                    2016 - Chelsea's 28th birthday

Psalm 139:13-17 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day passed. How precious are your thoughts about me,  O God. They cannot be numbered!    NLT

Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.  NLT

What is in your 'garden'?

What is growing in the garden of your life right now?  Loneliness ~ debt ~ chronic illness ~ invisible illness ~ abuse ~ family dysfunction ~ hopelessness ~ anger ~ doubt ~ lack of forgiveness ~ dashed hopes ~ "too much, no happiness" ~ sadness? What do you beg God to take from you?  Jesus went to the garden and asked too - but he also took what came and relied on his Father to get him through it.

Imagine Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knew what what was coming.  Yet he went. For us.  Sometimes life overwhelms us and no one knows.  We put on a good face for everyone while slowly dying inside.  Today churches and places of worship all over the country will have services reflecting on the agony of Jesus in the Garden.  A time to really grasp the hope that is in God.  The real reason Jesus came.  Take time to examine your heart, to understand the hope that is offered in a walk with God.  Will it be easy? No. Nothing about what Jesus did, and does, is easy.  That is why I find such strength and comfort in my relationship with God.  I can turn there when all else fails me.  

Go to the garden today - find a church service and make that step.  Go listen to what Jesus did FOR YOU!

Mark 14:32-46 They went to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, "Sit here while I go and pray." He took Peter, James and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, "My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." He went on a little further and fell to the ground. He prayed that , if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by. "Abba, Father," he cried out, "everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine." 

From wilderness to chaos!

Every year I am somewhat *shocked* to enter Holy Week.  So much time is spent on reflection, prayer and service during lent then all of a sudden we are thrust into the hectic and chaotic time of Holy Week.  Extra worship services, special events, planning Easter activities and most of it so far removed from anything that has to do with the Resurrection! Easter bunnies, egg hunts, special sales........ ugh!  Can I just stay in the wilderness and BE!?  Even our worship services have become a blend of secular activities and 'play' in order to make Christianity more comfortable for everyone.  (I'm sure I will step on toes with that comment).  

This is our world.  This is our day to day.  There is always something going on, a new event to plan for, a special family get together to organize and a myriad of things competing for our time.   The desire to simplify burns so deep within me. Yet my work is all online, I rely on social media and sales to pay bills.  How does one balance that conflict?  I depend on the very things that make me crazy!  It all comes back to my spiritual condition.  Yet I contribute to other people's quest for more stuff in my desire to cut back.  I urge people to buy, use the products I sell while my desire to have less is foremost in my life.  The circle goes around. We all need to have clothes, food and shelter.  Every season for this last year I have reduced 'things' in my life.  Fewer clothes, simpler food choices and less clutter  around my home.  At least I choose to sell a product that takes very little space, it is a beauty item so in high demand in our society and it pays bills. It is certainly not a 'need' but it is a 'want' for many, so I continue.  I guess a saving grace in working Direct Sales is that I know this business is providing for women on my team in powerful ways that haven't been available through conventional jobs. Single moms overcoming addiction and building a REAL business for themselves and their children. Stay at home moms able to nurture and care for their children yet paying bills when the normal jobs wouldn't allow them to work from home. Retirees making a steady income when the government and our society takes so much away from them.   The struggle continues- and I live that struggle every day. My faith in God, my strong belief in prayer and the saving grace and sacrifice of Jesus that have nothing to do with programs, activities and entertainment - that is my Holy Week.

Today I'm drawn back to this scene and how Jesus must have felt - not much has changed!

Mark 11:15-17 When they arrived back in Jerusalem, Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out the people buying and selling animals for sacrifices. He knocked over the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves, and he stopped everyone from using the Temple a marketplace. He said to them, "The Scriptures declare, 'My Temple will be called a house of prayer for all nations, but you have turned it into a den of thieves."

This blog is my own opinion- not about judgment.  I'm constantly on a quest for a simple, faith-filled life with God.  For now I rely on the world around me to sustain that in material ways.  I long for the day when I reach that simplicity, to pay off what we owe, to downsize and not be slaves to house maintenance and leaving a burden of 'things' behind for our child and grandchildren.  I will continue on the retail treadmill in order to do those things.  Not to acquire more (though that is a goal for some) for me it is a quest for less. 

May your Holy Week have a least a little time for Jesus, his message of hope and the love of God.  

I choose blessing! And blessings can be fun too ;-)

From  Wiki:

Patrick was a 5th-century Romano-British Christian missionary and bishop in Ireland. Much of what is known about Saint Patrick comes from the Declaration, which was allegedly written by Patrick himself. It is believed that he was born in Roman Britain in the fourth century, into a wealthy Romano-British family. His father was a deacon and his grandfather was a priest in the Christian church. According to the Declaration, at the age of sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Gaelic Ireland.^[11] It says that he spent six years there working as a shepherd and that during this time he "found God". The Declaration says that God told Patrick to flee to the coast, where a ship would be waiting to take him home. After making his way home, Patrick went on to become a priest.

According to tradition, Patrick returned to Ireland to convert the pagan Irish to Christianity. The Declaration says that he spent many years evangelising in the northern half of Ireland and converted "thousands". Patrick's efforts against the druids were eventually turned into an allegory in which he drove "snakes" out of Ireland (Ireland never had any snakes).

Tradition holds that he died on 17 March and was buried at Downpatrick. Over the following centuries, many legends grew up around Patrick and he became Ireland's foremost saint.

For many today has become a "party day" - to wear your favorite green attire, eat and drink certain food and generally "celebrate to drunkenness".    Look at this other excerpt from Wiki:

Christians also attend church services and the Lenten restrictions on eating and drinking alcohol are lifted for the day. Perhaps because of this, drinking alcohol – particularly Irish whiskey, beer or cider – has become an integral part of the celebrations. The St Patrick's Day custom of 'drowning the shamrock' or 'wetting the shamrock' was historically popular, especially in Ireland. At the end of the celebrations, shamrock is put into the bottom of a cup, which is then filled with whiskey, beer or cider. It is then drank as a toast; to St Patrick, to Ireland, or to those present. The shamrock would either be swallowed with the drink, or be taken out and tossed over the shoulder for good luck.

I think people simply look for a way to have an excuse, or reason, to indulge in their own chosen pleasurable pastimes.  I know there will be some that attend worship today, and maybe even some that don't normally do so - my lenten challenge for you: why go on just a certain day in memory?  Why not worship, pray, serve and study EVERY DAY? The wilderness journey of lent is always about change for me - most years I do okay during the season but soon after I slip back to old ways and  when the season rolls around again I have to start over.  In looking back over last year's journey and journal I discovered that some of the disciplines I put in place are actually still my daily practice - so it is good to look back! Traditions are fun, celebrations are just that - a time to participate in practices that aren't the norm.  Why not put more traditions in place that are life affirming?  For me there is just something a little "off" about honoring a Saint with drunkenness and throwing all caution to the wind! On this day I plan to ponder how I might be a blessing and reflect on how I might be a vessel for God to touch the life of someone else.  How will you celebrate?  Being a blessing can be fantastic - with no hangover!!