Over the weekend my husband made a remark: "I've been thinking about this new phase you are in, this 'de-cluttering' - when you get tired of that, give me your next project for the backyard disaster area". That remark really struck a chord with me! I admit, I have gone through many phases in my life during the 32 years we have been together. Over the last several years the 'phases' have given way to depression and feeling stuck. Part of it is natural in growing older and life not looking anything like I imagined when I was 25, but does anyone's life really look like they imagine when young?
I have started many projects over the last two years, and nearly all of them remain in a state of limbo. I start things that I think will make me happy, when all I'm doing is continually searching. When I had my 'light bulb' moment about 10 days ago and started on the quest to simplify it was not like any other time in the past when I have gone through another phase. This morning I looked up the definition of change:
To make the form, nature, content or future course of something different from what it would be if left alone.
Something inside of me has been changing lately. I have been stuck in the place of still imagining that things will be different, when the only way they can be is if I CHANGE! One of the first big changes for me came almost exactly two years ago. I had hair that was about 1 inch long all over my head, and I received tons of compliments on how cute it was. Just what most women want, compliments! But not me. My hair had been super short for a couple of years, and I hated every moment of it. But the words of my mom, back just before I married "you are getting married now, to a banker - you are too old (26?!) to have long hair". So my childhood dream of long flowing hair, with flowers in it for my wedding went out the door - and I had the ultra conservative, short styled hair, with a traditional veil. The beginning of many long years of being someone other than me.
In the midst of this simplifying and de-cluttering, I am SLOWLY discovering that being me is much more fun than being who the world wants me to be! Does it make things easier? Not necessarily. Is life still hard and full of disappointment? Yes. No matter what age you are, be YOU! Don't wait, like I did, until you are 58 to be the person you want to be instead of who others want you to be. When you are living and being who God created you to be, you will be a blessing to others and that is so much better than being stuck in a place you don't want to be. I choose change.
Other things I'm changing:
I have an unfinished book that I have hesitated to complete, for fear that no one will read it. I'm changing my attitude - I'm writing it because I want to, whether anyone reads it or not. I will complete my book.
I am going to succeed at my two direct sales businesses - even though many tell me that I won't. It will take work, and it will take change - but I am using my skills and training as a life coach to help the people on my teams to succeed, I will succeed as well.
I'm continuing on the quest to simplify and de-clutter. It is not another phase, it is a CHANGE - and I can't wait to see how it all turns out.
My challenge to you: be YOU and seek a change in your life, oh the places you'll go!!
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