Friday, May 22, 2015

Letting Go..... The Story of a Hutch

Late 1960's, a young couple buys their first complete set of "grown up" furniture.  Top of the line, purchased on credit, and the journey began of "paying on time".  Working multiple jobs in order to pay, but no sign of the poverty they grew up in -  their first beautiful home. 
 
Fast forward to 1983.  A young woman of 26  (me) marries and moves into another woman's  dream home.  Learning to be married, living with a husband still grieving the loss of his high school sweetheart and wife of 18 years....... and surrounded by beautiful things not my own.  Slowly over the 31 years we have been married our homes have shown touches of "me".  This hutch is the last surviving piece of all that fine furniture that Waylon and Lynda purchased all those years ago.  I slowly replaced, sold, and gave away all of the other pieces in our various moves.  This being the only china hutch we have, I have kept it.  It doesn't match my 'style', it isn't something I picked out.  But it is a high end piece of furniture, and I have never been able to justify getting rid of it.  It is also the last piece of Waylon's connection to Lynda.  The interesting thing, to him it is just a piece of furniture- his attachment is inside, in his heart.  To me, it is as if I would be betraying her if I remove this last piece of their life together from our home. 
 
Last weekend Lynda's niece (who we are VERY close to, and she is the Godmother to our granddaughter) visited us along with her new husband.  She also has a hutch exactly like mine - as her mother and Waylon's wife bought them at the same time.  Her words to me "Aunt Lynda would never have wanted someone to keep something just because it was hers".  This wise young woman said she too keeps her hutch though not something she wants or needs, because her mother wouldn't understand her NOT keeping it.  Her words: get rid of it!
 
Deep down I have been holding on to many of the things in our home because someone gave them to us, or they were/are a reminder to something in the past.  I am a sentimental person, and there is nothing wrong with that.  But to hold on to things 'just because', that don't serve a purpose or give me joy.... that is what I have been rethinking and working through.
 
I am learning that simplifying and removing clutter and all that goes along with it is freeing!  I have a long way to go, but each small step - each box, each load to the thrift store is drawing me closer to ME!  As I look around  this very room I sit in I see a couch from my oldest niece, still in excellent shape but also not my style - but she was redecorating and we needed a couch - so here it sits.  I see lamps, accessories and mementoes, all hand me downs and  very random.  I'm learning to say no...... I'm learning to pick and choose and surround myself with simplicity and space that expresses me.  My love for God is growing, my grasp of stuff is loosening....... I took a big step today, I listed the hutch for sale. *gulp*
 
 
 


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