The big black cloud.........is it following you?

I'm going to step out on a cliff today, a very steep and scary one.  Having a loved one with mental health/illness issues involves the whole family.  What most people see as a bright, cheerful and smart individual can really be an anguished and troubled soul hiding a dark secret that our society has placed such stigma on we do all that we can to hide and mask it even more. Our family deals with this every day.  Those of us that don't suffer from it want to reach out, to help, to 'fix'.  The person that deals with it inside thinks no one can understand, and really I don't think we can.  When dealing with doctors and the medical community, they KNOW we depend on them yet appointments are nearly impossible to secure, and the cost is so exorbitant that we wonder how we will ever manage.  When meds are necessary if you don't see the doctor, you can't get what is needed.  If you do, again the cost is so high you wonder how in the world you will manage.

Then there is the 'community help'.  In our experience if we try to use some of the public services provided it is nearly impossible to get help. You either show up and wait for hours for a chance at an appt., or you wait and wait and are told yet again that now you are on a list for a future doctor visit.  Problems, depression, personality disorders and anxiety can't wait. The silent conditions that no one can see from the outside just simmer inside and slowly destroy.

Over the last days and weeks I have watched as my fellow Americans  tear each other apart and fight over personal beliefs. I have very strong personal beliefs and standards of my own - yet day to day there are so many families, like mine, that would just like a little help for our loved one.  A little compassion for things and situations that most don't even have an inkling how to handle.  When you see me, what may seem like anger, pessimism or criticism is quite possibly extreme sorrow or fatigue at feeling helpless and misunderstood.  

My prayer and hope for all of us is an increase of compassion for one another.  A moment of tenderness and acceptance for situations and actions that you may not understand and most of all to work hard at removing the stigma of mental health issues.  It is no different than the thyroid condition I suffer from or the heart and vascular issues my husband battles. We see doctors, we get treatment and that is 'accepted'.  How sad that hidden 'mental' and personality disorders are looked down upon or approached as 'you can just change if you want to' - if only it was that easy.

A little "comfort" from Aunt Bonnie

I have many 'comfort foods' in my recipe box and in my head.  I spent many years very overweight after being a slim/trim teenager.  Dealing with excessive weight was a drain in many ways, and like many my guilt, disgust, sadness over my physical condition led to more eating.  I lost over 63 lbs 6 years ago, and I now, as I near age 60, have control over my food instead of food having control over me.  I still LOVE to eat, cook and thoroughly enjoy comfort foods.  After an extremely stressful weekend today I'm wanting something that takes me back to a pleasant place.  My Aunt Bonnie, who was also my godmother, was an excellent cook.  I lived with her for awhile when I relocated to a new town, and I tucked away many of her recipes.  While she and my Mom had grown up as sisters on the same small Iowa farm, having lived in different areas as adults they had different recipes to share.

Tomorrow, June 30, would have been my Aunt Bonnie's birthday.  So when I went through my recipe box I found this old copy of a recipe from her and it is just what I need tonight for our dinner.  As I chop, saute and then enjoy I will think of times with my Aunt Bonnie and the things she shared with me.  I will think of a time when life was simpler.  Looking back I know my parents and extended family struggled with lots of things that as a child I really never knew.  I strive to provide that type of environment for my grandchildren.  Sometimes it is hard to not have the world crash in, perhaps someday they will remember 'comfort' from me like I do from my Aunt Bonnie.

Find a little comfort today - whether it be in a favorite recipe from your past or connecting with someone that you haven't talked to in a long time.  There is enough turmoil in our daily lives, try to find some peace today, and maybe try my Aunt Bonnie's recipe!

Italian Joes  Serves 4

1 lb. hamburger meat, browned (use whatever fat content you like)

Add:

 4 oz of canned sliced mushrooms

1/4 cup finely chopped green pepper

1/2 cup finely chopped onion

1/4 tsp garlic powder

salt and pepper to taste

1/2 tsp basil

1/2 tsp oregano

Stir all together, remove from heat and sprinkle 2 Tblsp of flour evenly over the meat.

Return to heat and stir in:

1/2 cup evaporated milk

1  8 oz can tomato sauce

Simmer until thick, about 30 minutes.

Spoon onto split hamburger buns, then sprinkle with mozzarella cheese.  Broil until cheese melts!  Enjoy ;-)

I have a desk!

I first started this simplifying journey about two months ago, listening to my husband say "how long will this phase last".  I finally quit saying it wasn't a phase (we have been through many) and have just been quietly continuing on.  The areas I have already decluttered remain neat and tidy.  I think my favorite so far has been my desk.  You see, I work from home.  I have a very messy nest around my chair in the living room, my books are stacked beside me, my electronics are all around and my knitting is also within arms reach.  I do have a desk, but I rarely sit there.

My husband made me this desk a few years ago from an old Singer treadle sewing machine base and a large slab of wood.  It has no drawers.  I do keep a small filing cabinet next to it. Over the last few months it had become piled, (and I mean PILED) with papers, books and magazines.  I knew exactly what was there, but it took larger and longer amounts of time to find things because the pile had grown so much.  I finally tackled that space last weekend. Now it is neat, clean and orderly - I love this space.  I can sit at this desk and look out at our property.We have a family of deer, a mama and twin fawns, that I love to watch and the view from my desk is perfect.  Since cleaning that space I have found that I actually will go sit and work at my desk rather than in my messy nest.  I first started working in my 'nest' in the winter because I loved sitting by the fireplace.  My next area to tackle is that nest, to make it a place of comfort for relaxation instead of my all purpose place.  Work will now be done at my desk!

The journey to simplicity is getting more interesting each day.  We also spent two full days in our hot attic removing things that had been there for the full 9 years we have lived in this house.  Things we had forgotten about, items that we wondered why we ever kept them. The hardest boxes are the pictures and mementos, I will tackle those later.  But this weekend is a huge garage sale and many things are going away!  The attic is now clean and neat.  To the casual observer you would never know the amount of hot sweaty hours we spent cleaning that area, but WE know!  I know that I will never have a stark, minimalist home that is sterile looking and bare, but I also know that keeping things 'just because' is a habit that is becoming easier to break.  

One of my new favorite bloggers is Courtney Carver and her BeMoreWithLess.com website and blog.  I watched a video of hers yesterday and she had this list.  I wrote it out and I am working through it. 7 easy (?) steps to simplifying MY life:

1.  Write it down - what is your "why" for decluttering or simplifying?

2.  Discard duplicates  (clothes, kitchen etc)  I didn't need 4 sets of measuring cups!

3.  Declare a clutter free zone (if your family isn't on board with the simplification, start with your own area, declare it and ask them to respect it)  I have 2 so far: our tiny master closet that I have hated since we moved in, and now my desk!

4.  Travel lightly!  I will get to put this one into practice next month.  I will be attending 2 very different events back to back.  First a convention for Jamberry Nails (my paying job) - it will be in hot, summer Dallas - with events where I need to wear specific things.  Then I will fly on to California for my 40th high school reunion to the Sierra foothills. On to a couple of days at Lake Tahoe. Very relaxed and much different climate but all in one trip.  So I am planning this travel light concept.  It's going to be a challenge, but I'm up for it!

5.  Dress with less.  Courtney has a plan called Project 333 - where for a season (3 months) you pare your wardrobe down to 33 items.  I'm not quite there yet, but with a tiny closet and this desire to not be a slave to 'things' I am slowly working toward this as well.  I have 5 or 6 pair of jeans, yet I find I always wear the same pair.  Do you think people really notice when they see you if you are wearing the same top that you wore 2 weeks ago?  Change it up with jewelry or other accessories.  Since I am a knitter and crocheter I'm now building a much smaller wardrobe and expressing my style in the small items that I wear with my basic pieces of clothing.  I'm more about enjoying the people I'm with, not what they have or what we are wearing.

6.  Eat similar meals.  This one has been easy for us, and we really have done this for a long time.  Finances dictate my shopping a lot, but I find I can be very creative with spices and nice vegetables - it is more about the flavor of a simple meal and since I also lost a large amount of weight 6 years ago it is also about being healthier and my focus is not so much on food.  And I LOVE to eat!  The other thing that is a benefit to us, since I am very frugal with our food budget  our meals are not on the 'giant oversize' portions that have become the norm. Last night I made a wonderful meal for two of us with one half chicken breast, a salad and a side dish.  We ate a small healthy meal, and because we weren't stuffed we each enjoyed a small piece of pie.  That is better eating!

7.  Have an emergency fund.  This one is hard for us - as we help support our adult daughter through hard circumstances while maintaining our own home and expenses.  But even by putting a small amount aside it adds up quickly.  Courtney shared about keeping $1000 on hand for things that come up.  I had seen the saving plan where you designate a time period and set aside money.  For instance - choose a year.  Week 1 put in $1, week 2 - $2 etc.  by the end of the year, when you are up to putting $52 on that last week it is amazing how much you will have saved.  She did it in the opposite, start with the large amount - on week 1 put in $52, then go down.  It becomes easier to save as you are putting smaller amounts.  Another one that we have been using is saving $5 bills.  Any time we get change and there is a $5 we put it in an envelope.  Then tuck it away.  The other day we got that envelope out and it had over $100 in it!  We were able to buy something that we needed and we had the cash.  So there are easy ways to build your emergency or play fund.  

Two months in to simplifying and it is getting easier.  I know this isn't for everyone and each person's minimalism looks different.  I will never completely do away with some of the things I love - but the things I love are changing, the things I value I keep for different reasons.  I don't miss those 4 boxes of cookbooks at all!  The one shelf of cookbooks that I  do have holds books that I use  regularly and I don't have to search through mess to find them.  

I'm finding freedom in "less". And you know another benefit?  I'm spending (or charging) way less too!  THAT I love!!

Bits and Pieces......Stitches of Life

This old pic hangs in my hallway, I know little about it other than the man is a relative on my mother's side, and the girl may be an aunt.  Even though I don't know the people, I love this picture because of the quilts.  You see, I am a quilter.  I haven't worked on any recently, but I still love them, and whenever I complete a quilt I label it so hopefully future generations will know who and where each quilt was made.  What I wouldn't give to know more about the quilts in this scene!

As we become more and more dependent on electronics and instant access to information I am finding great value in lost arts.  I just took 5 boxes (!) of cookbooks to the thrift store today, I know I can find whatever recipe I want online or in the few favorite cookbooks that I kept.  What I won't part with is this hand written recipe, taped inside of a worn cookbook. My Dad made up this recipe, and it is written in his printing (he never wrote long hand).  To see something written by him, he has been gone for 35 years, it is like I have a part of him still with me.  He used to doodle, and print on things all the time and I miss seeing his print.  I still make this recipe often, for holidays, get togethers with my sister - just anytime, and I always think of Dad when I make it.

So what will I leave behind that will cause fond memories for my child and grandchildren? A house full of collections and furniture that they have no interest in?  Or my journals that have pieces of me written in them, or a quilt that I made especially for them?  I'm finding that the things I have held dear and treasured for so long are just becoming "things".  As I clean, declutter and organize the important things are finding a new spot and I'm making notes about them as I go.  Will anyone else treasure this old photo of a bearded man and some quilts that I have no idea who made them?  Probably not, but I do because it is a connection to my Mom.  I only wish I had asked more questions, and gathered more information when I could. 

What bits and pieces of the past do you have? Have you looked at them lately and pondered what they mean to you?  Rather than amassing vast amounts of knick knacks and decor why not put together some treasured things that mean something, leave a legacy. De-cluttering is becoming so much more.........

Desperation led to hope, God is good!

A few months ago I was pondering how in the world I would pay for health insurance.  You see, my husband is retired and on Medicare - I am only 58 and when I lost my group benefits I had been self insuring.  I am self employed, and in really good health.  Even though I am so healthy the cost to me to carry insurance was exorbitant!  When the premium amount went up yet again this year, along with an unmanageable deductible I knew there was no way I could afford even a basic insurance plan that really provided little in the way of 'health care'.  I already went one year with not having coverage, and was hit with a hefty tax fine.  As much as I hated paying that fine, it was still less than one month of a premium.

 

One day I was sharing about the state of our 'affordable health care ' on Facebook - and a friend introduced me to Samaritan Ministries.  Samaritan Ministries is a Christian Healthcare Sharing Ministry.  I really started researching and found that it was the answer for me.  There are some guidelines to follow, like agreeing with their Statement of Faith (which I do), a degree of accountability from your pastor (I always think accountability is good!) and some basic lifestyle and life belief guidelines which are right in line with mine.  It was an easy decision for me.  But you know what I love the most?  The low cost is great, the easing of stress and worrying about being fined by our government (it is exempt from IRS fines and monitoring) and knowing I have this option all played into my final decision, but the very best part is I am sharing with a large group of other believers in our health care costs.  Not only do I send my monthly portion directly to another member for their health care costs (that have been reviewed and published by Samaritan Ministries), I also am praying for them, sending notes of encouragement and when and if the time comes when I am in need of support for medical expenses I will receive the same in return.  To me, that is exactly how the Body of Christ should function.  Though I didn't need to submit a request for money help, I already received a discount from one of my medical providers because I am now "self pay".  No forms to file, no 'waiting for insurance clearance' - just paying for a service and receiving care from who I want and should the need arise I know I have a network of others that will pray for me and help me with monetary support. That gave me hope.

 

There are so many other things I love about this ministry: they have been around a long time (founded in 1994)and a proven success rate, with over 46,000 member households. They send a prayer list every month of special needs, so I am able to pray for people and send notes of encouragement if I choose.  I especially appreciate articles from those in the medical profession and what they think of health care sharing.   Don't take my word for it, if you are searching for a way to pay for your health care that is in line with your faith belief system, without the government telling you what to do, then please read more for yourself.  As an added bonus if you decide Samaritan Ministries might be the answer for your family, and you mention my name as a reference, I can get a discount on my monthly portion.  Just more of the Christian family caring for each other, by God's design.

 

Read more here:  http://SamaritanMinistries.org

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