The big black cloud.........is it following you?

I'm going to step out on a cliff today, a very steep and scary one.  Having a loved one with mental health/illness issues involves the whole family.  What most people see as a bright, cheerful and smart individual can really be an anguished and troubled soul hiding a dark secret that our society has placed such stigma on we do all that we can to hide and mask it even more. Our family deals with this every day.  Those of us that don't suffer from it want to reach out, to help, to 'fix'.  The person that deals with it inside thinks no one can understand, and really I don't think we can.  When dealing with doctors and the medical community, they KNOW we depend on them yet appointments are nearly impossible to secure, and the cost is so exorbitant that we wonder how we will ever manage.  When meds are necessary if you don't see the doctor, you can't get what is needed.  If you do, again the cost is so high you wonder how in the world you will manage.

Then there is the 'community help'.  In our experience if we try to use some of the public services provided it is nearly impossible to get help. You either show up and wait for hours for a chance at an appt., or you wait and wait and are told yet again that now you are on a list for a future doctor visit.  Problems, depression, personality disorders and anxiety can't wait. The silent conditions that no one can see from the outside just simmer inside and slowly destroy.

Over the last days and weeks I have watched as my fellow Americans  tear each other apart and fight over personal beliefs. I have very strong personal beliefs and standards of my own - yet day to day there are so many families, like mine, that would just like a little help for our loved one.  A little compassion for things and situations that most don't even have an inkling how to handle.  When you see me, what may seem like anger, pessimism or criticism is quite possibly extreme sorrow or fatigue at feeling helpless and misunderstood.  

My prayer and hope for all of us is an increase of compassion for one another.  A moment of tenderness and acceptance for situations and actions that you may not understand and most of all to work hard at removing the stigma of mental health issues.  It is no different than the thyroid condition I suffer from or the heart and vascular issues my husband battles. We see doctors, we get treatment and that is 'accepted'.  How sad that hidden 'mental' and personality disorders are looked down upon or approached as 'you can just change if you want to' - if only it was that easy.