Tying one on- (or in our case OUT!)

My husband left the corporate world 8 years and 5 months ago.  Though he occasionally wears a suit, for the rare wedding or funeral that we attend, for the most part his days of dress shirt and tie are gone.  When we purchased this 1970's ranch style home in 2006, we completely remodeled the main body of the house, giving it an open floor plan and very casual feel, like us.  The bedrooms are tiny and the closets even smaller!  We downsized over 1,000 square feet from our old 1924 home  (which I completely remodeled and LOVED) and detached garage apartment in Del Rio.  Though we got rid of a lot of stuff in that move, not nearly enough to fit into this home.  The tiny closets, the garage attic and every imaginable space is jam packed with things I couldn't part with.  I have yet to tackle the photo box and my school papers. As evidenced in the post earlier, obviously my mother was the same since I have HER school papers!!

 

*Side note: my husband is not a packrat in the sentimental area, this man threw out his high school year books!  But heaven forbid he should get rid of a rusty old screwdriver when he has ten more just like it! 

When I tackled this simplifying and decluttering journey the first area was our master closet.  It felt so good to purge that area, and that tiny space is still quite full, but everything is neat and tidy and only contains clothing and shoes that we wear regularly.  There was, however, one group of things hanging around that I didn't remove - ties!

As I was putting laundry away last week I looked at those ties hanging on two different display racks (that they often fell off of and would end up on the floor) I asked myself why didn't I include those in the purge?  So I placed them all on the bed and when Waylon got home from work he said "here we go again!"  There were 50 ties in all, including 10 Christmas designs! Surprisingly he was a bit sentimental about the ties.  He could remember which ones Chelsea  (our daughter) had given him as gifts, he remembered which were the favorites that he wore to work at the bank, and would get the most attention.  Of those 50 ties he had very few shirts that they could still be worn with.  So we went through them together.  It was an interesting process because in the choosing he was being swayed by sentiment and I was pointing out to him that the ones he was choosing wouldn't even go with the few shirts and 1 suit he still has!  So together we came up with a small selection of ties to keep, that have an element of fun but also a couple that are basic and will work well should he need to wear a tie to an event.  He chose 1 Christmas tie to keep as well.  Now we have a very small hanger of ties and the majority of them have already been taken to the thrift store.

Since I have already done a round one purge on my craft closet an interesting thing happened as I was working with those ties.  In the past I would have looked at all of those ties and thought "I can make something out of them!"  There are many projects that use up old things to keep as mementoes.  While I probably would have had fun making it (IF I ever got to it!), it would have been one of those things that either sat in the box for years, taken out every so often to look at and remember, then tucked away again taking up space until someone else decided to get rid of it, who REALLY wants a quilt made out of ties!? 

My tight hold on material things is getting looser with every load that I take to the thrift store. I'm focusing on fond memories, and writing them down.  I'm cleaning areas of our home and finding that I am not feeling so agitated when I open a closet and things tumble out (think messy Marvin!).

Another area of progress: cookbooks!

I just donated between 65-70 cookbooks that I have collected over the years.  Many that were never used.  I loved to read them, but dusting and having them stacked 3 deep in precious little space got to be too much.  It was HARD because I remember buying them, like the Charleston Receipts book when I was stationed at Charleston AFB - never made one recipe from that book and that was 36 years ago!! I also had cookbooks from nearly every Bed and Breakfast we have stayed at over the years, yet never made one recipe out of them. I now have one shelf with the books I use the most, along with two recipe boxes of cards mostly written in my Mom and Dad's handwriting, along with some of my favorite family recipes.  I know I can read and enjoy many cookbooks, and stories, on the internet or use our local library and not have to move or dust them! 

Also gone: 10 men's and women's coats - one that I wore before I lost over 65 lbs - two of me could fit in it now!  All gone....... 

I share these stories because my ultimate goal in all of this is for my 70 year old husband to finally retire again.  I work my Direct Sales jobs diligently, and as I build those and get our house in order at the same time hopefully he will get back to the leisure and enjoying our home as he deserves.  Some of you may just be starting your life others may be like us and in the later stage - take a look at what is important to you and embrace it.  You may be surprised as you loosen your grip on things you have placed value in and find an even bigger treasure that is waiting for you.  I know I am!
 



Letting Go..... The Story of a Hutch

Late 1960's, a young couple buys their first complete set of "grown up" furniture.  Top of the line, purchased on credit, and the journey began of "paying on time".  Working multiple jobs in order to pay, but no sign of the poverty they grew up in -  their first beautiful home. 

 

Fast forward to 1983.  A young woman of 26  (me) marries and moves into another woman's  dream home.  Learning to be married, living with a husband still grieving the loss of his high school sweetheart and wife of 18 years....... and surrounded by beautiful things not my own.  Slowly over the 31 years we have been married our homes have shown touches of "me".  This hutch is the last surviving piece of all that fine furniture that Waylon and Lynda purchased all those years ago.  I slowly replaced, sold, and gave away all of the other pieces in our various moves.  This being the only china hutch we have, I have kept it.  It doesn't match my 'style', it isn't something I picked out.  But it is a high end piece of furniture, and I have never been able to justify getting rid of it.  It is also the last piece of Waylon's connection to Lynda.  The interesting thing, to him it is just a piece of furniture- his attachment is inside, in his heart.  To me, it is as if I would be betraying her if I remove this last piece of their life together from our home. 

 

Last weekend Lynda's niece (who we are VERY close to, and she is the Godmother to our granddaughter) visited us along with her new husband.  She also has a hutch exactly like mine - as her mother and Waylon's wife bought them at the same time.  Her words to me "Aunt Lynda would never have wanted someone to keep something just because it was hers".  This wise young woman said she too keeps her hutch though not something she wants or needs, because her mother wouldn't understand her NOT keeping it.  Her words: get rid of it!

 

Deep down I have been holding on to many of the things in our home because someone gave them to us, or they were/are a reminder to something in the past.  I am a sentimental person, and there is nothing wrong with that.  But to hold on to things 'just because', that don't serve a purpose or give me joy.... that is what I have been rethinking and working through.

 

I am learning that simplifying and removing clutter and all that goes along with it is freeing!  I have a long way to go, but each small step - each box, each load to the thrift store is drawing me closer to ME!  As I look around  this very room I sit in I see a couch from my oldest niece, still in excellent shape but also not my style - but she was redecorating and we needed a couch - so here it sits.  I see lamps, accessories and mementoes, all hand me downs and  very random.  I'm learning to say no...... I'm learning to pick and choose and surround myself with simplicity and space that expresses me.  My love for God is growing, my grasp of stuff is loosening....... I took a big step today, I listed the hutch for sale. *gulp*

 

 

 



Wanna get away with God?

This last winter and  early spring I have been honored to co-lead a few women's retreats that have enriched my life.  Something about sharing the love of God with women is so fulfilling.  We women often put everyone else ahead of ourselves, so to 'retreat' away for a short period of time is truly a blessing.  These last couple of retreats I have used excerpts from the book pictured below, along with my own writings.  In an exchange of cups, this cup is the one I came home with from the last retreat.  As I use this 'princess' mug, I pray for the woman who brought it, and I also remind myself that I am truly a princess in God's eyes. 

 

 

There is a lot to be learned from a cup.  If you are searching for some new and fresh direction in your life - both spiritual and emotional, I highly recommend Joyce Rupp's book "The Cup of Our Life".  It can be used for individual study or in a group setting.  (I have no connection to Ms. Rupp, I just LOVE her book!)

 

 



Now back to the subject of retreats.  I have been involved in many retreats over the years, both as a participant and as a leader.  A few years ago God put a deep yearning in my heart, and that of my sister, to use our resources and talents to provide retreats for women.  Our retreats are different than most, as we focus on small groups of 12 or less.  It is perfect for a small group of friends, a small Bible study group, your mommy play group (without the kids of course!) or a group of women that are desiring a deeper walk with God, and to start that journey with like minded women.  My sister, Judy Cauthorn (and her husband Chuck) have a luxurious and beautiful home that they open for ministry like these small group retreats.  For a 3 or 4 day format (Thurs pm-Sun or Fri pm-Sun) Judy and I will welcome, love and lead you and your group in a blessed time for yourselves, away from the stress of life.  A time to re-charge, renew and grow in your relationship with God - all while being pampered, having fun, relaxing and  being waited on like the princess that you are.  More than anything, our retreats provide lots of time to just 'be'. 

 

I  design and pattern the retreat sessions particularly for your group. After learning the direction and topic you would like to cover I earnestly pray and write, and the sessions are presented in a fun, interactive way that are different than anything you may have experienced.  Judy does her part of hospitality, food and special touches that will leave you relaxed and refreshed, ready to return home to bless others.

 

Just tuck these images in the back of your mind and share them with your small group.  We are scheduling our fall and winter retreats now - so send me a message and we can talk about the details!  This oasis of peace, Jehovah-shammah (The Lord is there!), is located in Magnolia, TX.

 

 

 





Long Gray Hair

Over the weekend my husband made a remark: "I've been thinking about this new phase you are in, this 'de-cluttering' - when you get tired of that, give me your next project for the backyard disaster area".  That remark really struck a chord with me!  I admit, I have gone through many phases in my life during the 32 years we have been together.  Over the last several years the 'phases' have given way to depression and feeling stuck.  Part of it is natural in growing older and life not looking anything like I imagined when I was 25, but does anyone's life really look like they imagine when young?

 

I have started many projects over the last two years, and nearly all of them remain in a state of limbo.  I start things that I think will make me happy, when all I'm doing is continually searching.  When I had my 'light bulb' moment about 10 days ago and started on the quest to simplify it was not like any other time in the past when I have gone through another phase.  This morning I looked up the definition of change:

 

To make the form, nature, content or future course of something different from what it would be if left alone.

 

Something inside of me has been changing lately.  I have been stuck in the place of still imagining that things will be different, when the only way they can be is if I CHANGE!  One of the first big changes for me came almost exactly two years ago. I had hair that was about 1 inch long all over my head, and I received tons of compliments on how cute it was.  Just what most women want, compliments!  But not me. My hair had been super short for a couple of years, and I hated every moment of it.  But the words of my mom, back just before I married "you are getting married now, to a banker - you are too old (26?!) to have long hair".  So my childhood dream of long flowing hair, with flowers in it for my wedding went out the door - and I had the ultra conservative, short styled hair, with a traditional veil.  The beginning of many long years of being someone other than me. 

 

In the midst of this simplifying and de-cluttering, I am SLOWLY discovering that being me is much more fun than being who the world wants me to be!  Does it make things easier?  Not necessarily.  Is life still hard and full of disappointment?  Yes. No matter what age you are, be YOU!  Don't wait, like I did, until you are 58 to be the person you want to be instead of who others want you to be.  When you are living and being who God created you to be, you will be a blessing to others and that is so much better than being stuck in a place you don't want to be.  I choose change.

 

 

Other things I'm changing:

 

I have an unfinished book that I have hesitated to complete, for fear that no one will read it. I'm changing my attitude - I'm writing it because I want to, whether anyone reads it or not.  I will complete my book.

 

I am going to succeed at my two direct sales businesses - even though many tell me that I won't.  It will take work, and it will take change - but I am using my skills and training as a life coach to help the people on my teams to succeed, I will succeed as well.

 

I'm continuing on the quest to simplify and de-clutter.  It is not another phase, it is a CHANGE - and I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

 

My challenge to you: be YOU and seek a change in your life, oh the places you'll go!!

 

 

 



Yummy Strawberries! (recipe)

 

Another reason that I love Fredericksburg, TX - 20 minutes from our home is Marburger Orchard.  I was a little late this year, but went and picked about 5 lbs of strawberries this morning.  I missed the super duper big ones a few weeks ago, but these small, juicy gems were worth the trip.  It is like a treasure hunt to still find good ones, but oh so good!  Blackberries will be ready to pick soon.

 

 

 

 

Today I came right home and used most of them in a great jam recipe.  First I washed the berries in a tub of clean water, with a couple of tablespoons of white vinegar added, this helps get all the loose stuff off and just a good cleanser.

 

Easy Strawberry Jam

 

4 lbs of fresh strawberries, washed, hulled and crushed with a potato masher

5 cups of organic sugar

4-5 drops of Young Living Lemon Essential Oil (you won't believe the bright fresh undertone this adds to the jam, and with the fresh strawberries it is just awesome)

1 pouch of natural liquid fruit pectin

 

Placed mashed berries, and sugar in 8 qt stock pot.  Cook and stir until at a rolling boil that is hard to stir down.  Add in the pectin and the drops of essential oil.  Stir for another minute at the rolling boil.  Remove from heat, skim foam if desired.

 

Ladle into clean prepared canning jars (use the size you prefer, makes about 8 pints)

Follow regular canning instructions, placing jars with seals and lids secure into a boiling water bath for 10 minutes.  Carefully remove and place jars on cooling rack.  After all of the lids have 'popped' (assuring a good seal) I like to gently rotate the jars every so often through the cooling process to distribute the fruit evenly in the liquid.  I also put one jar into the refrigerator after cooled to room temperature so we have some to eat right away ;-)

 

This jam has less sugar than most canning recipes, we like the fresh strawberry taste with the hint of lemon rather than a heavy sweet jam. It's fantastic on ice cream. I hope you enjoy!

 

 

Need some excellent lemon essential oil, with quality you can trust?  Check out Young Living.  If you want to order, I suggest joining as a wholesale member, kind of like your favorite warehouse club.  You get a discount on your order and get the best deal. Choose the Premium Starter Kit to get a great selection of basic oils, a home diffuser and a special gift from me - an excellent book for getting started with essential oils.

 

www.youngliving.org/cscowan



Word of the day: orthography (the box - pt 2!)

orthography

noun, plural orthographies for 3–5.

1.

the art of writing words with the proper letters, according to accepted usage; correct spelling.

 

Imagine my surprise as I continued on with my de-cluttering and I found another blue box!  Exactly like the other one, but this one had a tiny note paper taped on top- with the combination!  (I tried it on the destroyed box from yesterday and it worked on that box too. If I had just been a little patient and found both boxes I could have opened them both).
 

 

This second box was obviously tended by Mom.  It contains lots of great papers: enlistment and discharge documents from both of them (Navy for Dad and Marines for Mom). The booklet from their wedding, complete with a full picture of the pastor in the front cover! Original Social Security cards, teaching certificate and more.  So fun to read through it all, very neatly preserved.

 

One of the real treasures was a bundle of Mom's report cards - all the way from 1st (!) grade back in the 1930's through her junior college/teaching school days.  From early on her highest grade was in Orthography.  Now I know why she loved writing so much.  But imagine my surprise from the high school and college report cards to see C's and D's!!  The woman that gave me so much grief if/when my grades dropped to a B and she had these!  Hmmmmmmm.  I also LOVED on the high school card: "whispers too much" - for 2 grading periods!  Too much fun. The elementary cards have wonderful words printed on the cards: instructions for parents, pupils and life guidance in general.  Imagine if we held our children (and parents!) to these high standards today - I believe our world would be much different.  The Pledge of Allegiance was printed proudly on the front of each card.

 

 

The instructions to the pupil on the front of the high school card are very interesting.  I love #4.  "Cultivate promptness, energy and patient industry. They are worth more to you than money or influence in securing success in life."
 

 

The words on the elementary card are also becoming a lost relic: these days it seems the teachers are expected to do all, our parents are so consumed with busy-ness and hectic lives that their children don't witness the "home and school" working together.  Also, for parents to visit school these days, to see what is happening in the classroom takes an act of congress, or at least a stack of signed papers to gain admittance to the teacher - oh and an appointment.  We are so overrun with violence and terror that our schools need to be on lockdown, so very sad.

 

 

I think this one got to me most of all. The back of the high school report card.  Notice it is to be read, signed and returned EACH WEEK!  By the time I was in high school in the 1970's our 'progress reports' came out each 6 weeks, and now it really takes effort to see what your student is doing,  we don't want to 'abuse the student's rights'.  The suggestion to talk over the report with the child, each week - in high school - imagine if we still had that kind of communication in our families.

 

 

I know there are many families today that do a fantastic job with communication and being involved with each other, but sadly we have lost some of these virtues and the accountability with our children.  It has been fun to explore these boxes, and I think what I take away from it is a greater desire to teach my grand daughters some of the values that are slowly disappearing from our culture.  I want America to be great again, like the country it was when my parents went to war in 1944 to secure our future.  Do I want to go back to the difficulty they endured? No.  But I'm sorely afraid that if we don't change as a nation things will be much worse.

 

 

 

Box, box- what's in the box?!

• 

 

As I continue on the quest to de-clutter and simplify my life I started to tackle the 'guest' bedroom yesterday.  This room also serves as the sleeping quarters for our granddaughters when they visit (often).  Typical of a 1979 ranch style home, this small bedroom has an even smaller closet.  The closet doors were bi-fold, always coming off the track, so a couple of years ago I replaced them with curtains that didn't take up precious space and could be pulled closed to hide the extreme clutter.  This closet has been the dumping ground for everything from Christmas and holiday wrapping supplies, off season clothes, various boxes from multiple moves from our daughter and so much more.  I would find myself constantly stuffing things in this very small space until the curtain was 'flowing' out into the room and there was no denying that a mess was behind them.

 

Amid the 1980's glamour shots, my 1979 military enlistment portrait and my tap shoes from the years of adult tap class I found one box that I had forgotten about.  My mom died 5 years ago this month.  This cardboard banker's box held items that my sister and I had packed away, things Judy didn't want so I brought them home.  I found a pretty set of tiny ceramic plates that used to hang in Mom's kitchen, they will be hanging on my kitchen wall later today.  There were papers, photos, and other random things that I enjoyed looking at and reminiscing over. Then there was "the box".

 

I remember this box, a metal tool or cash box with a spin combination lock.  Of course, no combo to be found.  I tried every possible 3 number  combination that I could think of, nothing worked, so Waylon pried it open for me...... it was heavy and I couldn't imagine what was inside.  Perhaps a secret stash of money? (not likely). Some long forgotten jewels?  (also a long shot).  As he came walking back in from the garage with the pried open box I couldn't wait to see what was inside.......

 

 

The box was obviously my Dad's.  Since he died in 1980 I imagine that it had been closed for all these years.  Mom may have known what was inside, but maybe not.  Knowing her, she probably had the combination but had it filed away somewhere.  Nothing too exciting in this box, mostly tools (12, yes 12 standard head screwdrivers!) a couple of Phillips screwdrivers, some random picture hangers, light switches and a cute little tape measure in a metal case that I remember Dad carrying in his pocket. Nothing of great value but some things that we definitely can use. 

 

Then I noticed glued on the lid was a business card from my Dad's short job as an office supply salesman.  You see, Mom and Dad lost their lease and closed the tire shop that they had owned and managed in Jackson, CA  for most of my childhood.  He then went on a quest to provide - working odd jobs like office supply sales, bar tending and mostly sinking into depression because this hard working man wasn't 'providing' as he always had.  I remember some tough years at our home and now being 58, the age he was when cancer stole his life, I can really identify with what he must have gone through as we too struggle through life in these difficult financial times.  Seeing that business card reminded me that though his business dream was gone, my Dad never gave up.  He worked hard, played harder and was my hero. During those same years Mom started her career with a local title company and went on to work many years at a job she loved.  Opening this box gave me a little glimpse and reminder of them today, and I can hold those tools and imagine Dad's hands using them too.  Rest in peace Vic and Billie Koplin, you left Judy and I a great legacy and taught us about hard work. Just like my Dad when in his 50's, my work dreams have kind of dried up.  The job that I went to school for  (completing my Bachelor of Ministry at age 47) and loved- that  I thought I would retire from is gone.  I still imagine that my Christian ministry teaching, leading  and guidance will have its place in the work I do now. I work hard at several small businesses, to provide. Things change and now I'm working at life coaching and mentoring young women to follow their business and family dreams. I will never forget and I will continue to work hard to make my parents proud.

 

I pray that the few of you reading this will also never give up.  Follow your dreams. When and if they disappear, make new dreams- they may turn out better than you ever imagined.  I'm still dreaming......... 

 

Proverbs 22:6   Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. New Living Translation

 

 

Willa Mae Davis Koplin (Billie) and Victor Lloyd Koplin (Vic) on their wedding day.

July 3, 1947



 

Cleaning the chicken coop

It's a poopy job!  I do love my hens and the fresh eggs they provide, but their home is a mess. I usually put it off as long as I can, but to keep things disease and pest free the coop needs to be mucked out.  The process doesn't take long, several scoops of the shovel (we keep the coop lined with fresh straw or sawdust) the roosts are cleaned and the nesting boxes get fresh straw.  But what to do with the poop!? At our house it goes to the compost pile.  Not only do the chickens get a clean house, I get exercise both from the cleaning process and the hauling of waste in the wheelbarrow up the hill to my compost pile.  The droppings and straw get worked in and before too long we have a new supply of black gold for our garden beds. 

 

What are the poopy things in your life?  What needs to be mucked out and repurposed in order to bring out the 'best' that is waiting in you? It is often a hard job to get through the muck and 'poop' that clutters up our life - but when you mix it in with some life giving water, stir it up every now and then, and let those smelly remnants be transformed you may be surprised at the beauty that emerges from the mess.

 

 

From a poopy mess to pretty flowers and organic vegetables......I see beauty coming!

Ready to do some mucking?