Remembering

So many pictures, so many tributes....... Father's Day.  It's not a happy day for some, as not all people had great relationships with their dads.  I did. As I sit and remember I'm very aware that I have now lived longer than he did, gone too young at 58 from cancer.  I remember going to his tire shop to sort invoices after school, third grade if my memory is correct, and I had just learned about the horrors of cigarette smoke. Those early days of claims about smoking causing cancer.  I broke an entire pack of my dad's Camel - no filters and threw them away!  Boy did I get in trouble! He didn't stop smoking until the day he was diagnosed, by then it was too late.

He didn't see that I got to work on airplanes in Alaska as I proudly wore the US Air Force uniform. He never got to walk me down the aisle. He didn't see the things I accomplished in life or realize that my time with him, those first 23 years, shaped who I became. But there are many things he did do.  He taught me to fish. He camped with me and taught me how to cook trout by a lake for breakfast (though we always had bacon with us just in case)! He used to love it when I gave him facials with Noxema.  And he taught me to love baseball. Not many people knew that Vic Koplin dreamed of playing major league ball.  When he was a young man he played in the US Navy League during WWII while stationed in Baton Rouge as a pharmacist's mate.  He told me stories of how he wore out the toe of his shoe from dragging his foot in his pitching routine.   I loved how excited he would get when we would watch or listen to baseball - the San Francisco Giants or the Oakland A's.  He would tell me stories of how much he had loved playing. I still think of him every time I watch a game. One of my cherished items is one of his very own team balls from that time in the Navy.  My mom gave it to me when she was downsizing to move to assisted living. She was about to throw it away, but I was thrilled to have it.  This ball sits in my living room in a case where I see it every day. The signature so familiar of V.L. Koplin - from his days in the Navy league.  

So many things that I love because of Dad: putting up Christmas lights 'just so' every year. Making his own recipe of clam dip and enjoying it with my sister (we sometimes share) as we play cards. Making huge kettles of his special spaghetti sauce and pots of chili beans - simmering all day on the stove and tasting at night before we ladled them into containers for freezing.  These two recipes are still my favorites at the first hint of chill in the fall. Special meals on birthdays - when I got to be "queen for a day", though he really made me feel like that every day.  

36 years without my Dad - 36 years of missing him, but never forgotten.  36 Father's Days where he's been with his Heavenly Father instead of with me.  

So many tributes today - and from me prayers for those, like me, who lost their dads too soon.  And also for those that don't have great memories like I do.  God bless each of you as only He can do.