I'm a mountain girl at heart, but I do have a love/hate relationship with water. A favorite devotional book that I read every year has an entry on June 8 that speaks loudly to me. I have notes written in the margin and I often read that page a few times during the year. Here is an excerpt:
Be determined to know more than others. If you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the dock, God will have to use a storm to sever them and to send you out to sea. Put everything in your life afloat upon God, going out to sea on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and your eyes will be opened. If you believe in Jesus , you are not to spend all your time in the calm waters just inside the harbor, full of joy, but always tied to the dock. You have to get out past the harbor into the great depths of God, and begin to know things for yourself. - begin to have spiritual discernment. My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers.
I am a perpetual student. Though I would love to be in a school setting constantly that isn't practical. I do, however, read and study things daily. It isn't enough to just learn. When I read that passage yesterday the line "if you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the the dock, God will use a storm to sever them and send you out to sea" really jumped at me. It seems lately that I have been keeping myself tied to the dock - tightening that knot and holding on. The storm has been raging though and I don't feel like I'm in that safe harbor full of joy! I wonder now how long it will be until God sends me totally out to sea? Some days I ponder life and think about what I expected when I was young. Now in the last year of my 50's nothing is as I expected. I know we aren't the only family that has difficulty. Worries about money, thinking about our world and how out of control things seem. The world of social media magnifies all of it. We can present ourselves just how we want others to see us: pictures of happy times and smiling faces give the impression that all is perfect. Likewise, comments and memes of depression or despair throw us into panic when the next moment the person is again posting a joke or funny picture. We really have no way of knowing - we are held by perception and what others want us to see. The storm rages. Some would say "just turn off the media". That isn't an option for me because 90% of my job relies on my social media connections.
Just like the weather, that can change at any moment from calm and peaceful to a raging thunderstorm with dangerous lightning, life lived untied is risky. To loosen the knot that holds us to the safety of the dock can be a hard thing to do. The older I get, the more I want to live 'untied'. I desire more trust in God to see what marvels He reveals to me. To be free from burdens and restrictions that I place on myself, and drift on the water....... even if it is sometimes rough and turbulent. I seem to be in a raging storm right now - but still tied to the dock. Banging up against the hard surface, it batters me, bruises me and breaks me apart. If I would just loosen the knot.........
I just passed the one year anniversary of the quest to simplify our lives. A lot of progress has been made and now as I ponder living life 'untied' I desire to simplify even more. Today I'm loosening that knot that holds me to the dock. Though it appears that I am more tied down than ever, with full time care of 2 young children for the summer and still running my business, I will do it with abandon. I will find ways to explore the unknown through the eyes of those children. We will learn things, do things and if sometimes the storm seems too strong we will hold on to each other and push through. But I would much rather have them see me take risks and trust God than restrict all of us to just a limited view of the harbor. Oh, and maybe we will also climb some tall mountains and enjoy that view as well- rock slides and all!
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