Screw-hoppers! (EEKK!!)

I have an irrational fear of grasshoppers (or screw-hoppers as they have  been called in our family since our daughter was about 3 - so 25 years ago).  This horrible affliction started when I was about 7 or 8 years old when a neighborhood boy chased me with a gigantic grasshopper then threw it at me.  The evil creature stuck to my shirt right at chest level - looking at me with those menacing eyes and no matter how I batted at it it just clung there!  I can still imagine it all of these 50+ years later, I have hated them ever since and I wasn't too fond of that neighbor boy either for a very long time!

My encounters with grasshoppers continued through the years.  In 7th grade I was very excited that in science class we were going to have the opportunity to dissect frogs.  I had heard about that from older friends, and was looking forward to the adventure.  Imagine my extreme anxiety when we got to science class that year and when we opened our little dissection cases inside I found a huge black and yellow grasshopper of some sort from Africa! I had never seen a grasshopper that large ever, and now I was going to have to spend a couple of weeks dissecting it?!  Yes, it was dead and the smell of formaldehyde was strong, but it was still a grasshopper and I dreaded that class until the evil thing was in pieces and that lesson unit was done.

I used to love to go fishing with my Dad, but he knew better than to even suggest using a grasshopper as bait.  I could handle an occasional cricket, but my bait of choice was always a nice fat worm.  Thankfully when I was stationed in Alaska in the Air Force I didn't encounter any grasshoppers.  I could fish without worry of being attacked by the evil creatures.  I could handle picking leeches off of my waders and watching out for the random black bear that would wander through camp, but a grasshopper? That would send me packing!  

My fear of grasshoppers has become somewhat of a laughing point in the family.  For years when we gathered with my sister and her family for holidays a mean little tradition started. One year for Christmas a very large (8-10 inches) rubber grasshopper, in vibrant green and yellow, was nicely wrapped as a gift to me.  The family, including the children, had great fun at my reaction when I opened it!  That rubber grasshopper made the rounds for several years.  I didn't want it in my house, so I left it in a drawer before we headed home.  Over the years it showed up tied to the top of a shower head, in bed, in underwear drawers, in bathroom cabinets.  It became a fun game to hide the screw-hopper before a family visit was done.  Thankfully that has stopped, mainly because I think it is lost somewhere in my sister's home from multiple moves!  I'm so happy that one tradition is over.

There have been other encounters with grasshoppers through the years.  I remember not so fondly traveling with my husband to a golf tournament near his childhood home of Placid, TX.  It was a year of grasshopper plague and we drove miles over a country road that was covered in the largest grasshoppers I had ever seen (besides that one I dissected)  You could hear the crunch of them as we drove and I dreaded getting out of the vehicle when we parked for fear of there being a live one that would attack me!  

Just a few weeks ago I thought my time had come.  I was driving to town on a sunny day just enjoying the scenery and a few moments alone.  Suddenly an evil creature appeared on my windshield.  I was so certain it was inside the car with me I had to pull over and calm myself as my heart rate went up and I was short of breath - it took me a moment to realize it was outside.  I knew my family would get a big laugh out of that one, so once I got my breathing back in order I snapped this picture:

It can be a difficult thing when your young daughter, and now granddaughters, love to catch them and play with them.  Not only do I hate the heat this time of year, but just a walk to the mailbox at the end of our driveway is anxiety ridden because grasshoppers are everywhere. They lurk in the green leaves of my begonia on the front porch, they hide in the tomato plants and glare at me as I reach in to harvest.  I have lived in Texas for 34 years and I will never be comfortable with screw-hoppers!  

I'm sure this may have given you a chuckle.  The thing is I know it is an irrational fear.  I can squash a spider without hesitation. And a mouse?  Just set a trap and dispose of it!  But a grasshopper?  No way, no how!  My affair with these evil things has been going on since childhood, but when I got to Texas a new fear emerged that is just as real and irrational - huge Palmetto bugs - the biggest roaches you will ever see!  Thankfully, since moving to the Hill Country 10 years ago, my battle with those has ended, but that is a whole other story!

All kidding aside, fear of any kind can be crippling.  As we are faced every day with another police shooting, a bombing, or the many other  horrific acts we are bombarded with in the news, it would be easy to lock ourselves inside our homes and avoid the world.  I have learned to live with my fear of screw-hoppers.  I do avoid them, but I still walk out to get my mail every day. I still go pick the tomatoes and just hope one doesn't jump on me!  I look around and am aware of where I step and sit - just like we should be aware of our surroundings at all times. Yet we go on living.  We embrace the day God has given us and pray for protection from the evil in this world.  The evil still comes, and sometimes it crosses our path. Just like the grasshopper on my windshield encounter - we pause, we catch our breath, and we turn on those windshield wipers and get going again!  Don't let fear cripple you- our God is bigger than your fear. (I still don't know why He created grasshoppers!)