Pay attention!

I am 3 rows and a simple cast off away from completing a shawlette that I have been knitting for nearly a year. This isn't a difficult pattern, or a large project but has taken me a long time to complete.  In my journey and quest to simplify one promise I made to myself was to work through my yarn, fabric and craft stash and only work on things that I had previously purchased.  I even removed many items and supplies of things that I have had for years that I now have no interest in.  Can you believe I even had fabric yardage in a tub from 1974 when I worked at the Sprouse Reitz five and dime on Main St. of Jackson, CA?  I carried that 3 yards of fabric all the way to Alaska, then here to Texas, but all it did was sit in a plastic tub.  It was a soft, fleecy material that I had planned to sew into a pretty nightgown. Even back then, at age 17 I was always trying new things.  I had been sewing since I was 9 and  I wanted to try something new.  I never made that garment and last year in one of the first purges of the sewing room that pretty white fabric with tiny blue and green flowers went away.

Another new thing I promised myself was to not start a new project until I finished what I already had in progress.  This gives a little insight into this LONG shawlette project!  In the past I would start a large project like an afghan or quilt and would get bored so I would move from project to project and though I would complete many of them, it took a long time because I was always jumping from one thing to another.  I could have had this current item done weeks ago, but I would find myself looking at patterns or opening up my yarn box and imagining what I will make next. 3 simple rows and I could actually be ready to cast on something new. Why do I do that?  Why do I set things aside and not complete them? I have done the same in my work life - moving from place to place, always searching.

My hobbies are not the only place this happens.  I can look around our home and see multiple areas where this procrastination, distraction and failure to complete things is evident. 2 1/2 years ago my husband I started a project to enclose our back patio into a screened porch.  We did the prep, started framing and were going along fantastic and then I had surgery on my hand.  Then the holidays. Then it was cold. Then the area had been sitting so long it looked ugly and we just didn't do it.  Now here we are almost 3 years later - we have a 3/4 completed screened in porch and will need to do repairs on some of our early work before we can complete it.  By putting things off we have made more work and expense for ourselves in the long run.  

One place that I can say I am very proud of myself, and my 'sticking to it' attitude is in my business.  I have mentioned before that I own and operate my own Direct Sales business.  I have been doing this for two years, and I get the glares, doubt and 'look down the noses' from others that goes along with that.  "Oh, she is doing one of those pyramid things, what a scam" or "why doesn't she get a real job?"  It was hard to take this risky step - yes, I have training in traditional jobs and experience in other things, yet when I took on this endeavor I realized that everything I have searched for all through the years, in my work, has led to this. I get to be in charge, yet I'm accountable to a larger group.  I use my skills of life coaching, leadership and encouragement daily with my team and coworkers. I found a product and and company that I believe in and feel good about representing. Since I love school there is always training to be done. There is an element of independence that I treasure.  I like being in charge, no surprise to those of you that know me!  That very thing can be extremely difficult as well.  I have to constantly reach out and continue on when things get hard.  I have to motivate myself in order to get a paycheck, and even sometimes then it doesn't happen. Unlike setting aside a knitting project or finishing a screened porch, in my work I must push through.  I have never enjoyed or felt more passionate about a job (with the exception of the Air Force) in all of my adult years as I do this one, and I have had some GREAT jobs!  Direct sales is a people business, and I love interacting with people.

This summer has been a hard one, probably one of the most difficult times for me personally that I can remember.  I had a pretty routine schedule in a flexible sort of way.  I worked my business regularly and was also able to enjoy my hobbies more.  That is the beauty of my business - I can work hard for a short period of time and then spend the rest of my time how I pleased, I couldn't do that with a traditional job. Then summer of 2016 came.  The need to help our daughter in the care of her young girls.  Neither of us can afford full time camps and day care for the summer - so our home became summer camp/day care central.  My routine of running my business has suffered -and in this business when you don't tend to it, you notice!  I look forward to being just Grammy again, instead of schedule planner, disciplinarian and fight referee!  This summer has also given me great respect for those grandparents that do this all the time. And for those single parents that struggle through their jobs and routines with little or no help.  I also face a hard few weeks of tending my business in areas that have been neglected - it will be like picking up a knitting project after a long break and having to reacquaint myself with the pattern.

I have learned lessons from this shawl that is taking me so long to complete. I'm seeing that paying attention is crucial in life.  It may seem trivial to be so focused on completing a simple knitting project.  Yet it is a symbol of the direction I want to take going forward. To take on a task and complete it in a timely manner, to the best of my ability.  To stay the course, even in the boring multiple rows of stockinette stitch instead of the variety of a patterned border. To make the phone calls, text messages and mailings for customer care that are necessary in my business, to do few things with excellence instead of many in a mediocre manner.  I need to pay attention.

I have simple goals - to live out life with less 'stuff', to enjoy what I do, and to honor God in all of it.  Paying attention is a skill that takes practice but like any other habit, the more we do it the better we get at it!