Doing the hard stuff

I had a really hard "grammy" moment yesterday.  On my daily run to pick up my 7 year old granddaughter from school and take her to swim team practice she was unusually quiet for the second day in a row.  On Monday she was already out of the pool  and dressed when I picked her up. Then  on Tuesday she told her mom she had a sore throat so she skipped practice.  She was acting fine otherwise and it is so out of character,  for her not to chat about her day, that I knew something was up.  With a little prodding and questioning I learned that Monday at swim practice her friend made fun of her name.  Instead of Chloe Campbell, she called her "Chloe Camel".  She was so embarrassed and devastated that she didn't want to go back to swim. She LOVES swimming and is very good at it (her friend also told her she wasn't a good swimmer).  So in between huge crocodile tears and lots of talking we went to the wellness center, and I talked to the coach, but she still didn't want to go in. My grammy heart was about to give in, but when talking to her mom on the phone she said "Mom, don't let her quit - she is not a quitter and we need to teach her to keep going!"  (Wise words, usually I'm the one saying things to my daughter.....hmmmmm, maybe she has been listening!)  

The other kids were all in the pool by this time, one of the student coaches was trying to talk to Chloe and tell her "we are going to work on dives today, and practicing from the starting blocks - you have been waiting for that!"  She would have none of it.  I helped her change into her suit, and she sat in a chair sobbing, begging me "Grammy, please don't leave me here, I don't want to go in the pool with her, she makes fun of me!"  Coach came over, and very kindly told her "no crying, it will all be ok - let's go swim".  That was about when I walked out, after telling her this "Chloe, if she says something just say "My name is Chloe Campbell, not camel - and besides I LIKE camels!"  I also told her that other little girl probably had forgotten all about it and she wouldn't even know why Chloe hadn't been there.  The hardest thing I have done in a long time was walk out of that building with the sound of my precious granddaughter  sobbing and BEGGING me not to leave her there!

Fast forward a couple of hours - I get a voice message on my phone and I hear her excited voice: "GRAMMY - I did what you said, we all talked and I told her just what you said, I told her my real name and that I liked camels!  I swam really good today and everything is good. Grammy, thank you so much for helping me - I love you".

My take away: Talk it out, even when it is HARD!  Hopefully that precious girl learned that confronting what is bothering us, and talking about it is so much better than avoidance and letting it fester.  She had spent 2 days, worried and sad over words that were said to her. Hopefully she also learned how what we say to others can really damage feelings.  I will continue to remind her  of that valuable lesson and I will also work really hard to practice what I preach!