It's clear to me!

As 2016 winds down there are many things that I'm checking off my list.  A new planner, putting away the Christmas decor, vowing to once again be organized and picking my word of the year.  I rarely go back and look at my blog entries, to do so usually gives me anxiety when I see bad grammar, typos and thoughts that weren't expressed as I intended.  For the last week I have been sure that I knew my WOTY for 2017 - balance.  I decided to go back and look at my blog entry for last year and balance was in the running last year as well, along with purpose and enough.  I settled on enough and I have been pondering that word all year.  When I started the journey of simplification in 2015, then moved on to enough in 2016, I was making good progress yet there is still a little pestering thought in my mind that I can't quite release.  I started looking at the word clarity, or just clear, for my WOTY.  

When I go through this process I pray about it, I think about areas of my life that I want to work on and how my focus will help me do that.  When I chose simplify it was so much more than setting a resolution, I carried that thought and word all through the year.  I have not completed that project, but the progress I have made in simplifying and decluttering in the last 2 years is significant.  There is still a long way to go!

Choosing a word for 2017 has been very difficult, until about 5 minutes ago. As I was looking through my favorite dictionary and still certain that it was going to be along the lines of balance or enough  the word came - SURRENDER.  

Surrender: To yield; to give up one's self into the power of another. To resign in favor of another.

I can almost hear it now, especially my husband and other family members "Ha - give up her power to another?  No way!"  You might say I'm not a 'yielding' type of person!  A little strong willed, you might say.   So for me focusing on this word for 2017 is about total surrender to God.  I say that all the time, but have I really lived it?  I pondered enough all of this year, I was on a quest to be satisfied and content with my life as it is. I had good intentions of what I wanted to achieve this year, and some of it I did.  Yet I find myself ending the year and not feeling that what I did was enough.  I went against the very thing I focused on all year.

When I came across this quote it was the lightbulb "aha" moment I was waiting for:

When I fully surrender to God the 'enough' will come.  When I surrender to the plan He has for me things will be in balance.  When I prayerfully consider each decision, how to act in each circumstance, and how to react, He may just have a different and better plan than I do. 

All of the same things will still be in place as the new year begins.  I have a business that I want to flourish and I will do my best to make that happen with honesty, integrity and hard work.  I have a ministry job that I feel God has called me to, and I will walk in that direction until He shows me that it is time to turn away. Perhaps I am to be like Paul, a tentmaker, who works hard at a job in order to do the ministry work of God.  I have an education path that I have not followed for many years, but now that I have begun (I started a Master of Arts, Biblical Counseling) and have much to do it makes me be in balance.  Like many of you I also have huge mountains in front of me for the coming year. Things to conquer, things to overcome and things to let go of.  By continually focusing on surrender perhaps those mountains won't seem so large.   

Surrender is hard for a person that likes to be in control.  Perhaps that is even more reason that I should focus on it!  I'm still seeking simplicity, balance and enough....... I now believe all of it will only come through surrendering. 

The ultimate blended family

I would guess that each of you reading this knows, or has immediate family members, that are part of a blended family.  Our own daughter has children that are hers from a marriage that is no longer intact.  She is engaged to a great young man who also has children from a previous marriage. I have close friends  and family that are agonizing over not being able to be with or see their children for the holiday because they will be with the other biological parent.  That seems to be the norm in our society today.  Sad, but true.  

If you think of a family without divorce or single parenthood even in the best of families when it comes to holidays and traditions there is often dispute. "But my family always does things this way, I don't want to do it your way!" "I have never spent a holiday away from my parents, (my sibling, my grandparents, etc) we HAVE to be with them."  The scenarios go on and on.  I value traditions and carrying on the story of how things were done.  When we pass those things along to our children it is a way of keeping our loved ones with us through the story and tradition.    I want to tell you a small story, though kind of trivial, about our family.  My sister and I grew up eating turkey stuffed with bread stuffing. Part of the tradition at holiday time was the process of making that stuffing and I can still remember 'stealing' pieces of the carefully prepared bread croutons before they were put in the bird.  When we both married southern men in Texas we learned about cornbread dressing. Now I do like cornbread dressing, but bread stuffing is the way to go for the holiday dinner - that is just how it is!  For many years we (my sister and I) continued on our tradition of bread stuffing. Eventually we added in cornbread dressing, but I won't go in to great detail of how that all came about, just know that at our large table both types were there.  We have both been married to our guys for over 30 years and we rarely all get together for holidays anymore because we both have grown children with families of their own now and trying to get all of us together is just an impossible task.  The Koplin sisters have had to adjust to a 'new norm' after having things our way for oh so many years. 

So how do we handle the 'blended family' dilemma? How do we carry on our family traditions, having to let go of treasured practices but adding in new ones?  It can be a crippling thing for some.  Perhaps the meal won't look the same, or the process of gift giving/bedtime/waking up and the schedule of the day won't go as we want.  Perhaps one family is extravagant and over the top in gifts where the other is simple, basic and less. Does it make one better than the other? Is the love that is shared between members any different? For me the driving factor is that I want my grandchildren to know that I love them. I don't show that by the most expensive gift or the 'best' tradition, I show it in taking interest in them and giving my time, all of the time.  Yes, I pass along the traditions that I hold dear, but I know that they will be better young women some day by taking in many experiences and that Grammy's way isn't the only way. 

What do I really want this Christmas season?  For those I know and love to know and love the ultimate blended family.

Matthew 1:18-21 This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiance, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. "Joseph, son of David," the angel said, "do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you will name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins."........... 24 When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.

I'm sure that is not how Joseph imagined his life would be.  Are any of our lives how we picture them?  Each day we make decisions and decide who and what to follow.  Our personal holiday traditions and practices will not look like years past.  A young family with 5 children between then have decisions to make.  My prayer is that the decisions that are made and the time that is spent is full of love and acceptance.  My part in that is to remember the obedience and trust of Joseph. That I will share the love that is in my heart that is so much more than temporary presents and traditions.  It is an ultimate love that only comes from God.

That is my prayer for you as well.

Prayer focus: Pray for those who are struggling to make their way through family dynamics. Pray for God to give you strength to give love and peace to those who may think and do differently than you do.  Pray for families to come together in their own way, bringing with them bits and pieces of their own traditions and making new ones with parts of all.  Pray for families to make Jesus their common tradition,  a tradition of love and grace.

Is there room for me?

I've mentioned before that I am pretty nostalgic and particularly so at this time of year.  My home is filled with many decorations that have either been in the family since I was a child or things I have collected since I was young.  I had a completely sleepless night last night and I did a lot of thinking.  As I was tossing and turning for hours I started thinking of the family gathering for holidays when I was young.  I don't remember over night guests much at all, but I do remember fantastic holiday meals.  The preparation started early!  After the house was clean the leaves for the dining room table were brought out of the closet or from under the bed.  The tablecloth and napkins were ironed and the table set with china. Most homes, ours included, were modest in size. When the dining room table was fully extended and set there really was no room to walk around.  The kid table was also nicely set just a small distance away.  Sitting down to the holiday meal was the high point and there was lots of laughter, passing food around in serving dishes and of course talk of when dessert would be served. I guess when you don't have multiple TVs, cell phones in every hand and numerous electronic devices a holiday meal looks much different.  The meals then were planned on who was driving from where, how long they would get to stay and time to visit was factored in.  Nothing was planned around what time the football kickoff would take place or needing to rush off to the next house for meal number two.

I guess it is just old people like me that get nostalgic for a time like that.  Most young adults don't know of those leisurely holiday meals.  Sit around a table, long after the food is gone, just to visit?  What a lost treasure that is.  About a year ago I traveled to my hometown, Jackson CA, for my 40th class reunion.  I drove by all the old sites (I wrote about that a bit a couple of days ago) and that included driving through the neighborhood where I grew up. The houses all look so small!  I stopped at one of my best friend's homes to visit her mom. What a joy it was to walk in that home.  It was late afternoon and as I visited Mary in her kitchen it was like stepping back in time.  The tile counter tops are the same, the table was set for dinner much like I remember when I would get to 'eat over'.  The same dishes, the same glassware and the same warm welcome.  I didn't eat with Mary, and her daughter and son in law who were cooking, but I was invited and I knew I could have stayed if I had wanted to.  It was an impromptu visit, but I knew there was a place for me.

We now live in an extremely mobile society and people don't often live near their extended family anymore.  Those large family gatherings are harder to plan and sometimes just don't happen.  Did you ever have to help polish the silver? Somehow gravy served from mom's gravy boat and silver ladle just tasted better than 'every day' gravy. Did you learn to iron by practicing on linen napkins?  Did you ever steal black olives  from the appetizer plate, then put them on your fingers to chase your cousin around the room with 'monster fingers'?

Do you remember having to take your turn washing, and drying, the dishes? We even had a silver crumb tray and table broom that came out on holidays - it was my job to 'sweep' the crumbs after the meal as the adults sat around with coffee, liqueur and pie.  

Maybe I'm just too tired after a night of insomnia.  Maybe I'm just missing my parents a little too much.  Or maybe I'm just not wanting times to change even more, precious traditions being lost and children not knowing the chaos, discussions and joy of a family dining table. Maybe I'm missing special holiday dining tables and simple daily dining tables. Maybe...........

Pray focus: Pray today for those facing the holiday alone.  Pray for those mourning the loss of loved ones.  Pray for those of us that grieve over lost traditions and melancholy. Pray for families to sit around the daily dining table again. Make room at your table.

Obstacles!

December 20.  5 days until Christmas. I know some of you are probably checking things off in your head right about now "I have XXX amount of gifts to wrap, I haven't baked the cookies, what am I going to cook for Christmas Eve dinner, I wonder if Uncle Joe will cause a scene again....."    am I right?  These thoughts tend to dominate rather than "just a few more days until I sit in awe of what God has done and will do, I am so blessed by love and generosity, 5 more days of marveling at the miracle of this season and what is represents, hope is alive in my life because of Christmas".  It takes conscious effort to turn our thoughts away from all of the things that press in on us.

Here is a challenge for you today, kind of an early New Year - New You exercise.  Start today on change.  By the time January 1st rolls around you will be ahead of the game and as everyone else is trying to decide on how to 'change' themselves you can give them tips!  

For all of these things the only obstacle is you.  When we start working on ourselves many of the problems and things that weigh us down will disappear.  5 days....... there is still time for lots of obstacles to pop up in front of you before Christmas - don't let your own choices be some of them.  Control the things you can and stomp out the others!

Romans 12:2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. NLT

Are we there yet?

Do you know that feeling when you get close home and it's like the last few miles take forever? Growing up in Jackson, CA we would go to Sacramento for our big shopping twice a year for clothes and occasional special trips to see my parents' best friends.  It was only a 45 mile trip, but back then that seemed long.  When we would get to Sutter Creek, and just have 6 miles or so left to our house I would get excited.  Passing the landmarks: the lumber mill on the hill in Martell and the smell of smoke coming from the large stack and seeing the huge logs floating in the pond,  curving on down the hill and seeing Butte Mountain come in to view and the Kennedy Mine tailing wheels, on into town and passing Mel's and wondering who was having a Moo-burger or cruising Main and waving at friends.  I've been gone from Jackson for over 35 years but can still imagine all of my favorite places in that small town. When I went back for my 40th reunion last year I was so excited to be driving past the landmarks, yet sad because many of them are gone. Mel's is now a large modern building that is not so new anymore, the old walk up burger joint has been gone for years - but the restaurant is still a gathering place for locals.  The mine and tailing wheels are still an attraction but the lumber mill stack is long gone and now that hill is covered with businesses and parking lots.  

As I traveled around during my Air Force years I received orders to move to Del Rio, TX. I was very sad to be leaving Alaska, I would have been happy to serve and live there forever. I received my welcome pack to Del Rio and the brochure showed a beautiful sparkling spring, with huge pecan trees and picturesque green lawn around it.   Even though I was ever so sad about leaving the mountains I thought for a moment 'maybe this won't be so bad'. 

Memorial Day weekend, 1982.  I had been driving from California to Texas seeing the sights along the way as I journeyed to my new duty base.  A friend had gone along with me, but I put her on the plane home in San Antonio and started that last 3 hour leg to my new home. San Antonio was fun and Texas was starting to grow on me!  Well, it wasn't long, as I was driving west on Highway 90, that things changed drastically!  Miles (and miles and miles) of flat long road, caliche dust, mesquite trees and a few towns dotted here and there.  I was asking myself constantly "am I there yet? where are those pretty springs!?"

After miles and miles of flat, desolate land there was the base.  All I saw were many T38s lined up ready for training and no sparkling springs or tall pecan trees.  No beautiful forest surrounding the flight line with huge cargo aircraft and helicopters that I had worked on the previous 2 years.  "Connie - we're not in Alaska anymore".   I admit, I cried and cried on that Memorial Day weekend when I arrived in Del Rio, TX.   I started a count down calendar of when I would receive my next assignment!  Little did I know then that I would make decisions that changed my life forever and I lived in that town for the next 25 years.  

Over those years I had that same anticipation when I would drive into town.  I would leave as often as I could, even though San Antonio was 3 hrs away and there were no mountains in sight, when I would get to Brackettville that last 30 miles to home would be time to check off the landmarks, then passing the base would be the final stretch of a few miles to our home.  I did end up living right near the beautiful San Felipe Springs with huge pecan trees in our yard along with a gigantic black pine.  When the wind would blow through that pine tree I would sit outside and the sound would remind me, just for a minute, of what wind in the pines in the mountains sounded like.

Now we live in central Texas in a charming small town.  Fredericksburg is kind of a hub, and many roads lead here.  Though I don't go places much, when I drive home there are always those landmarks to signal that I'm getting close.  The childhood comment of "are we there yet" always runs through my mind.  So what does all of this rambling about driving and places I've lived have to do with Advent? That is how I feel right now.  We started with anticipation and making plans.  Then a road map of sorts to guide us along.  Now I just want to be there!  I want to behold the majesty of the birth of Jesus and also experience that promise of the Messiah. I also want to take in every moment.  Just like driving into my hometown of Jackson, CA  and loving each place I passed, I love this last week of Advent and I want to experience each moment fully.  I want to read, and re-read the story. I want to feel it in my heart and sit like the shepherds in awe of what they experienced.  I want that power and glory to wash over me.  

Just like driving into Del Rio, TX and the dry desolate miles and miles of open space our journey to Jesus can seem endless.  But there is a sparkling jewel of refreshing spring to water your heart and soul.  Keep going, keep praying and keep watching.

Luke 2:1-5 At that time he Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David's ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Galilee. He took with him Mary, his fiancee, who was now obviously pregnant.

Prayer focus: Today as you go about your day, and the busy-ness of this last week before Christmas, take a moment to notice the landmarks.  Pay attention to those around you and how they may be floundering in the hustle and bustle.  Reach out to someone that may need a kind word.  Especially those who are missing a loved one for the first time this year.  Pray that the 'springs' of Jesus' love will water you both.

Navigating the dark

"Oh shoot, I forgot to put the chickens to bed!"  Our chicken coop is behind our garage, down a slight slope in an unlighted area.  One of us usually goes out to close the coop door just before dark, to keep critters from invading and having a chicken dinner!  But some days we get busy watching the news, or puttering around the kitchen and look up to notice it is pitch black outside.  Since my husband is recovering from surgery right now the chicken duty is mine.  The path to the coop is well worn and I could probably walk it in my sleep but it is also very dark. Even when the porch light from the house is on, the rays don't extend down past the garage and around the corner, through the trees to the coop. Usually our flashlights are dead and the flashlight on my phone just lights a path a few feet ahead of my steps.  I'm always watching for a skunk, a raccoon or an armadillo to scurry in front of me and cause me to have just a little misstep.  Once I get beyond the edge of the garage and through the little stand of oak trees I see the soft glow of light from the coop.  We have a heat light hanging in the coop during the winter and it provides just enough light that I can see around the structure, walk up the ramp, close the door and head back to the house.  I then turn around to walk back to the house, and I tend to look at the porch light but still have to remember to look down now and then on the uneven path. There is something very comforting in that porch light and walking toward it after being in the dark of the coop area.

Things look different in the dark. This last fall we took our annual "beat the heat" cabin vacation to North Carolina.  I research and find vacation rental by owner locations to just get away for a few days when the oppressive heat is still hanging around in Texas.  This year we arrived late in the afternoon and once we got settled in our rent car we started off driving to the cabin.  The owner had told me that we should not rely on a GPS, that in the mountains we would get lost, we were to follow her directions exactly and we would find the cabin with no problem.  What she didn't count on was that it would be dark when we arrived. We stopped at a grocery store in the small town to get a few supplies for that night and early morning, then we began that last stretch of 5 miles or so to the cabin.  Even though it was in a somewhat populated area the landmarks she told us to watch for were not visible in the dark. "When you see a stone church building on your left you will know you are on the right road", "go three tenths of a mile then turn left just after the bridge".  The problem with that one, we were driving and we hadn't come to a bridge!  I was just about to turn around and try following the directions again when a car came from the other direction and in the headlights we could see a small bridge crossing.  If I had turned around we would have just missed it.  We knew we were on the right path, but there was one more landmark to spot -"watch for the 30 MPH curve sign and your turn will be immediately on the left".  We drove, watching the mileage tick and came to a curve - but no 30 MPH sign!  We just kept watching and sure enough, the dirt drive on the left had a sign to our cabin.   We didn't follow our GPS, but the written directions (with my navigator trying to read them in the dark with his phone light) were also somewhat lacking for driving in the dark.

The next morning when we drove to town we saw that the road was beautiful and also learned that in the daylight the landmarks the owner mentioned would have been easily spotted and made me confident that I was going the right direction.  In the dark I was questioning, wondering if I was following the right road and doubting. Just like my walk to the chicken coop - I know the path, but in the dark I imagine all kinds of things that can hurt or scare me.

Mary and Joseph navigated the 'dark' of the unknown as they traveled to Bethlehem.  The shepherds saw the light in the dark when the angel appeared to them. Fear, the unknown and darkness were being illuminated.  They all were following the Light of God. As darkness envelopes you, what light do you look for?  What guides you when you are in fear, anxiety, or facing a dark path but you have to travel it? Though sometimes it isn't my first choice (I try to push through things on my own) I ultimately go to my Bible.  I read of the people that faced great obstacles, fear and anxiety and am encouraged in their reliance on God and how it got them through. It amazes me how the ancient words of Scripture still speak and empower today. They truly are the light to my path.

Prayer focus: Take a moment today to think about an area of darkness that you are battling right now.  Illness? Relationships? Money concerns? Job uncertainty? The unknown can freeze us in our tracks.  Pray today that comfort will come from God, that you will allow His light to guide you in the decisions you make and the path you decide to take. Pray that someone will cross your path to encourage you.  Thank God for Mary and Joseph and their decision to walk that path full of uncertainty, that allows us to have a living relationship with their son ~ God's Son.

Shortest distance or fastest route?

When I look at my GPS or Google map it is easy to click or tap on the screen and change the route.  There are so many options~  fastest, shortest, no tolls etc.  However, the map doesn't tell the whole story. A number of years ago my family was on a driving vacation to see my niece and her family in Kentucky, where her husband was attending seminary.  It was just a few weeks after 9/11 (it makes me sad to realize that everyone knows what those numbers mean).  We decided to stay out of airports and see some of our great country along the trip. That was one of my favorite trips and I still remember some of the fantastic places we visited.

As we were leaving Kentucky we were driving along an interstate to head to our next destination when I noticed a small spot on our map - (paper map, as this was before we had GPS on our phones).  Just a few miles off the main highway, was the Lincoln Birthplace Memorial.  We drove just a few miles out of our way and experienced a real treasure.  I hadn't planned on that stop but we all were so glad we got off of the interstate and visited this monument.   When we first approached we saw a fancy monument that looked like it should be anywhere but in the middle of a Kentucky pasture. 

As we began walking around the grounds there was so much more to see!  The traditional cabin location, the sinking springs where water was gathered for the family, but the real surprise was inside that monument building.  A replica cabin is fully enclosed inside that monument!  We thoroughly enjoyed seeing a slice is history in a totally unexpected place.

I've thought about that little detour a lot over the years.  Since I do all of the driving in our family I often like to take the less traveled route.  Our society has become so tuned to instant gratification, fast travel and no waiting that we miss some of the best there is in all areas.  When you get off the fast highway you just might experience something that will bless you beyond measure.

Advent can feel like the fast highway, at least it is for me.  We have SO many things to do! The Christmas season of advertisements takes over - the decorating, the food, the parties, the gifts, and now 'that elf'!  More to do, more to see, more to buy.......I prefer the side road. I have been on a quest to simplify our life and home for almost 2 years.  Right now I am somewhat forced to slow down as my husband recovers from surgery.  The unexpected treasure of that is I am immersing myself in reflection on what is really the reason for Advent. I'm praying, reflecting and thinking about what is really important to me. Yes, I love looking at my beautiful tree that is decorated with years of memories and traditions. What I am enjoying even more is learning that the treasure God has for all of us is so much more that pretty ornaments and gifts under the tree.

My home may look like a pretty and fancy monument right now, kind of like that Lincoln Memorial in the middle of a Kentucky field.  But inside is a basic and solid structure.  We love God, we love each other and things may look fancy to the visitor, but our life is really very simple. Once all of the Christmas decor is put away we have the 1970's house that is rough around the edges, a bit worn out but will stand because it's built on who we are, not that we have the flashiest appearance. We have hard times we push through, and we have wonderful memories too.  We keep going because we know that God is bigger than all of it. It can be easy to take that fast highway, zooming along and counting off the miles and signs as you go.  These last few days why not try getting off the highway and meandering along the road to Bethlehem.  Take in the surprises that you might miss if you take the fast route.

Prayer focus: Pray for those you see 'rushing'. If you find yourself doing that, take a moment to drive off the expected route. Look for unexpected signs from God today and pause to enjoy them.  Let your soul be refreshed.

Sometimes we need a map

We are starting the third week of Advent.  Way back when, seems like ages ago, we were anticipating.  Wondering and imagining what the season would look like as it unfolds.  Last week we started making plans, and thinking about what happens when plans don't go as expected.  Now it's time to get out our map!

I love paper maps (not folding them, but using them!). How long has it been since you looked at a paper map? I do use my Google map or the GPS on my phone, but the information found on a paper map gets me excited.  There are notes about the size of the road, landmarks and monuments to find, and information on distance from one place to another.  When we went on our New England trip in 2013 I had laminated paper maps that I could use a marker on and plan our drive for each day.  It is good to have maps, but all forms of maps have their issues.  Just like a GPS may take us to a completely dead end or a street that has the same name but in a totally wrong location, a paper map can be outdated almost as soon as it is printed.  Most of you have probably experienced road work wherever we drive these days, and maps don't usually show us the detours and closed roads that we may encounter.

So what does a map have to do with our journey through Advent?  I don't know about you, but when it gets down to these last 2 weeks before Christmas I have lists everywhere! Notes about gifts I still need to purchase or wrap, events that I need to attend, tasks that need to be done for my jobs (direct sales is exciting at Christmas time, but I have customers that I value so I need to take care of them too- the work still needs to be done). Add in this year that my husband is in the hospital and I need to make sure things are in place as he comes home and recovers.  Of course all of the normal bill paying, housework, laundry and animal care  still needs to be done as well- I need a detailed map.  

I'm sure you can figure out where I am going with this...... my map in this busy time is my Bible.  It would be so easy to just rush through each day and check items off of my lists then move on to the next thing.  When I make sure that at the top of that list is a moment to just sit and be quiet ~ to read the words and reflect on why we even have this season, it helps the chaos quiet just a little bit, and gives a calmness to my soul.  Mary was obedient and served her God in a time that had to be the most disturbing of her life.  The unknown, the questions, the doubt.  I don't look at the Bible as a fairy tale or fantasy. It is a long standing map of hard life situations, reliance on God and how grace, love and forgiveness win out over all.  It is the unchanging map that I go to when life throws dangerous and unexpected road construction in my way.  When I turn those pages and read I find unexpected landmarks and treasures that can only be found when I look closely. I've been reading my Bible for close to 50 years, and I still find something new and life-giving each time I read it.

As you get ready for these 13 days before Christmas, choose what map you want to follow. What will keep you on the right road and get you to where you want to be? 

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.

Prayer focus: Take a few moments today to look at the map that is guiding your day. Pray for a clear direction to take, without roadblocks.  Pray that God will remove obstacles that are keeping you from Him.

It's all in the plan

It's interesting to look back and see how things go, versus how things are planned.  On Thursday we had a plan for how surgery day would go.  At hospital by noon, surgery at 2pm, in ICU by about 6pm.  Well, as all of you probably know, plans often get messed up when it involves medical procedures!

We arrived on time, but an emergency in the OR caused all surgeries to be pushed back.  In reality we sat and waited.  Surgery started at 3:30pm, in recovery at 6:30 and finally settled in ICU at 7:30.  You know what the hardest part about that entire day was, for Waylon?  Not eating! You see, when you think you are going to get started about 2pm so you don't eat after midnight, but then you wait for a couple hours longer, that last meal doesn't hang around for long!  A few times as we were chatting and waiting for the go ahead, he commented "well, it has been so long now, I just really don't think about it". 

I have thought about that a lot over the last few days.  How often do we put something off and then just don't think about it? "I haven't talked to my sister in weeks, oh well - she probably doesn't want to talk to me anyway".  "I really should write those thank you notes, but I'll have time tomorrow".  "I heard that  one of my best friends lost her spouse, I'm sure she has so many people around, I'll just call her next week".    We have plans, but as we procrastinate the plan gets easier to adjust or ignore.  All of these things are very different from waiting for things out of our control, like a hospital operating room. The things I mentioned are all things we CAN control!  We can plan to do things and when other things get in our way we go with the flow but still do the things we planned.   Just because Waylon didn't get in the OR at the time planned, he wasn't going to wolf down a meal and upset the altered plan.  So make the plan, if it gets thrown off course  or detoured, still carry through with the plan.  "I really need to talk to my sister - as soon as I start this load of laundry I will call her!"  "I have enjoyed this birthday gift for weeks, I will write that note now instead of playing Candy Crush".  "I'm afraid Ann will cry if I call her about Joe dying - I'm going to call anyway, we can cry together".  

Don't give up your plan because it doesn't look like you imagined.  Don't ignore the joy of Advent and Christmas because you are having a rough time.  Life is messy, hard and throws us curves - go with it!

Jeremiah 6:16 This is what the Lord says: "Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls".

Prayer focus: Watch for the things that get you 'off your path' and pray that God will guide you.  Watch for the alternate plan and what blessings may be there, pray for the strength to act on what is placed before you.

Hi-ho, hi-ho it's off to ........ we go!

All week I've been thinking and writing about plans.  So who PLANS to have a major surgery just a few weeks before Christmas?  Who PLANS to have major appliances fail at any time? Who PLANS to have news of family members far away in the hospital?  I could go on and on about things that happen that we don't plan for.  My husband is indeed having a major surgery today.  In the midst of this surgery process (2 surgeries, plus recovery) we had our 19 year old furnace system needing to be replaced- it was unusable; we got word yesterday that his brother is also in the hospital in California.   Life. All of you have similar things that happen I'm sure.  I recall last year a dear friend got a cancer diagnosis right before Thanksgiving. Just yesterday a friend from church lost her husband.   If we all started sharing the list would go on for days.  Time and problems don't stop because it is Christmas time.  We like to plan for a happy, joyous time and we are bombarded with ads and heart wrenching commercials of such a 'feel good' season.

You know what?  It is.  It is because I choose it to be.  The same goes all year - I choose to be joyous and hope-filled because of God.  Because of the changes that took place in my heart so many years ago I can be joyous at all times.  That doesn't mean I don't get sad and have concern over how in the world will we get through things, it means I have a strength that I can call on when they do.  Those that know me well will tell you that I'm not always a 'happy' person.  I tend to drift into depression, worry and the 'oh woe is me' mode. However, I am a joyous person.  I have never gotten so down that I turned my back on the one true joy that never goes away. It is because of that joy that I can push through when all of these unexpected things upset the plans.  

I always have plans, but just like I wrote yesterday, sometimes those plans get sidelined and I have to go on a detour.  Today that detour will be sitting in a hospital waiting room while my husband has peripheral artery bypass on his leg.  He has known he has vascular disease since his first heart attack as a young man in his 30's. Over the course of the last 40 years he has had heart attacks, stroke, brain surgery, heart surgery, multiple stents and more. He is now 72 and from appearances you would never know his arteries get clogged and chronic pain has crept in. I don't know many people that have endured what he has over the years and still keep going. He is often out working on our property, chopping wood, building tree houses  and forts for our granddaughters or battling with chain saws and tools that don't work!  Lately the leg pain has thrown a major detour into his plans.  Did we plan for this surgery to happen at Christmas time, and the slow recovery he faces?  No - but we are thankful for doctors and technology that discovered the problem and will fix it.  I expect he will be out climbing ladders and doing 'projects' again before you know it!

Take a look around you today.  Someone close to you, or maybe even you, may be appearing to have everything in order this holiday season.  Chances are every single person you meet has something that was not in the plan.  Those ideal snapshots of perfect Christmas scenes exist in TV land.  Hold on to the joy, if you don't know that 'joy' I'm writing about I'd be happy to share.  

Philippians 4:11-13 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. NLT

Prayer focus for today: Pray for the ''unseen".  As you go about your day, notice the people around you and pray for the unseen circumstances that they are facing, the disruption of plans that come in to all of our lives.  God knows the need, we just lift them in prayer.

"That's the plan!"

Plan: A scheme devised; a project; the form of something to be done existing in the mind, with several parts adjusted in idea, expressed in words or committed to writing.

Scheme: To plan; to contrive.

Contrive: To invent; to devise; to plan.

I love word studies.  I could have continued on down the line with this.  I even went on a bunny trail!  The definitions above are from my 1828 Webster's Dictionary.  When I looked at the definitions for the same words in a current dictionary some of the meanings of those words have taken on slightly different connotations.  Scheme had the newer definition of "an underhanded plot".  As I was looking for a simple definition of plan I realized that my very point was being made in the first few minutes I sat at this computer.  I had a plan (in my head) to write this blog entry and check that off my list, then move along to the next thing on my list.  Surprise - surprise, within a few minutes I was off on a word search in an old dictionary! My original plan was going off on a detour.  

I make plans all the time, and rarely do they actually go as I envision them.  All year I look forward to this season, the time between Thanksgiving and New Year,  beginning with Advent, Christmastide and on to Epiphany.  I have certain things I do and  I have a timeline that I like to follow.  That perfect timeline, however, only exists in my head.  Real life often takes that plan down a totally different path.  There are so many things that are out of our control, yet they can completely take control of our time and our lives. Illness, weather, other people's actions, accidents and more. So how do you cope when your plan goes awry?  If you haven't heard that word in awhile here it is:

Awry: Turned or twisted towards one side; not in a straight or true direction, or position. Turned away from the line of truth, or right reason.

This year my reality certainly looks different than my plan! I started a new job in November, I continue to work my direct sales business and my husband is facing a major surgery tomorrow that will involve a possibly lengthy recovery.  Some things that I plan for every year during this time just won't happen.  The time will still pass, the dates will come and go on the calendar and there will be new opportunities each day to look to God and trust in HIS plan.

As a life coach and leader of a team in business I also work with goals.  Since I am in the definition mode today check this one out:

Goal: The end or final purpose; the end to which a design tends or which a person aims to reach or accomplish.

My plan each year is to enjoy and participate in various activities and traditions.  My goal is to have a peaceful and calm spirit, and to draw close to God in all of it. When I keep that goal of nearness to God in front of me, the plan may be changed and detours may take me on a completely different path to get there yet my goal stays the same.   Sometimes I find myself so obsessed with the plan that it draws me away from my intended goal.  I'm basically speaking of my spiritual journey, but it applies to my work as well.  The goal in my business is to be a good leader and provide for us in order to pay bills.  My plan is that my team will perform just like I do, work in the manner that I do and have the same goal. Do you see the problem there?  I'm including the actions of others in my plan. When I put my expectations and plans on others all I am doing is setting myself up for disappointment. A better plan and goal is to help them realize their own goals and then help them devise a plan in order to achieve them.  My ultimate goal can still be achieved, it just may take walking down a different path than what is planned in my head to get there.

As you journey through these days of Advent what is your plan?  What do you have in mind that the remainder of the season will look like?  What is your ultimate goal? Since my ultimate goal is a peaceful and calm spirit and nearness to God I must keep that goal in front of me as my plans tend to change. The beauty of that is often God's plan draws me closer to my goal faster than if I follow the plan I have for myself.  

We have 18 days until Christmas.  If you are like me you still have a list of things you want to do, and plans on how to get them done.  What is your end goal?  Think about that today and take a hard look at how you are advancing toward your goal.  Yours will be different than mine, but outside influences will certainly come in to play for you, just like they do for me.  So be ready! Watch for the detours that will come and don't be afraid to take them, there just might be something better waiting for you along that unknown path.

Prayer focus today: Ask God to give you an open mind and heart. To watch for new paths He may guiding you to, and the boldness to walk down them.  

Plans.....what plans?

Last week I started the Advent journey with great expectations.  I was anticipating exactly how the season would go and within the first few days those expectations played out totally different than I had anticipated. I had great intentions of writing every day, whether anyone reads or not, as a discipline for the season.  This week I'm praying about and thinking about plans.  

Whenever we go on a vacation I start the plans and preparation months in advance.  The planning is almost as enjoyable, for me, as the actual event.  In 2013 my husband and I celebrated our 30th anniversary.  Something that had been on my bucket of life list since I was a young girl was to visit New England in the fall.  Our anniversary is in November but we made the decision to visit Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine in late September in hopes of seeing fall colors, but not severe winter weather.  I started planning that trip about 8 months in advance.  With the help of friends and family who had already been on similar trips I had a stack of maps, brochures, suggested sites and places to visit.  I also had ordered travel guides and borrowed books from the library.  I kept all of that in a pretty box by my chair and would often page through the material and dream of that trip. I made our lodging reservations about 6 months in advance then planned our driving route for each day on the nearly 2 week long trip. The plan was in place and all of my information was neatly printed out in a convenient binder to take along on the trip. When the day finally arrived I was ready and anxious to board that plane, pick up the rent car and be off for the first adventure.  The best laid plans!  From the very first day when we arrived at the Boston airport some of the plans didn't go as expected. Though I had been told about possible delays on that route out of the city I didn't expect it to go as it did. As we sat in that tunnel and in traffic delays I found myself praying "please God, don't make the whole trip be like this!" When you have a spouse that doesn't like being in the car on a good day, imagine being behind the wheel (me) and listening to the grumbling about being stuck in traffic on the first day of our long awaited trip. When we finally arrived at our first bed and breakfast location in Mystic, CT I was wondering if the entire trip would be a stressful as that first couple of hours.

This Advent season has kind of started out in the same way.  I had anticipated what the next few weeks would look like.  I have a devotional series that I want to complete in these weeks leading up to Christmas. I have work, family and special activities that I anticipated would go a certain way, and already, just one week in, plans have not gone as expected. So what do you do when that happens?  Did I just throw up my hands when our arrival in Boston was not the ideal start to a dream vacation?  No.  We settled in and I got out my travel plan and from then on we just went with the flow.  Did we still have unexpected things come up along the way?  Of course!  But the plan was just that, a plan - a guide.  When we encountered a detour, we took it.  When we saw something along the roadside that wasn't in my written schedule we stopped and looked.  Some of the best things we did on that trip were totally spontaneous and unexpected, like these awesome river rock sculptures that we happened upon beside a small winding road in Vermont.

As we begin our second week of Advent I want to encourage you to look at your plans,  just as I am having to do. Will every event, family gathering, meal, gift and relationship go as you plan?  Probably not.  Do we throw it all out when things go wrong?  I hope not.  Plans are good things to have in place, but so is trust in God. To look to Him as things unfold. To realize that something that may not have been in YOUR plan may be even better when you follow His lead.   This last weekend we had some early family holiday events and it was a wonderful time together with some of our closest family members that we won't see on the actual holiday. There was an expectation in place for a special meal that didn't go exactly as planned.  As things unfolded there were gifts given, relationships formed and prayers that wouldn't have happened if the evening had gone as originally planned.  In the past I would have been the worst one about feeling cheated or upset if things didn't go as planned.  As I look back on this last weekend I realize that God had some great things planned, and His plan was much better than mine.  So make your plans, but be ready to adjust as that plan unfolds.  

Prayer focus today: As you go about your day, notice when unexpected things happen and pray that you will see the good in them.  If you see someone that is in distress or upset, reach out to them with a kind word or deed, then pray that they too will see the goodness in each situation.