Take the leap!

Leap day is interesting!  Some people only get to really celebrate their birthday once every 4 years. Others have things happen (death of a family member or friend, unexpected events, etc) on leap day and they only have an anniversary of that on those leap years.

Today is unique - how will you make it a day that stands out in your mind and memory? It is just another day on the calendar, but why not make it special?  Try something you haven't done before, reach out and make a connection with a long lost friend or reconcile with an estranged family member.  Today I plan to LEAP!

L learn, lead, love

E encourage, explore, endure

A accomplish, acknowledge,  accept

P prepare, persevere, pray

I will learn something new today.  Something for my business where I  lead others,  I will lead by example with love. 

I will encourage.  By sending encouraging thoughts to my work team of 33 women.  By encouraging my daughter as she goes on job interviews. I will explore new avenues in my faith walk, my work life and in my relationships. I will continue to endure through rough patches and work on encouraging myself more.

I will accomplish my end of month tasks, acknowledge where I succeeded, accept where I failed and thank God in all of it.

I will prepare myself for what is coming!  I will prepare my heart for the rest of the lenten journey. I will prepare my team for the next step in our businesses as a new season comes and we have great opportunities stretched out ahead of us.  I will persevere when the obstacles appear and I will push through them. Above all I will pray.  

Sometimes we just have to retreat!

One of many definitions of retreat:

To  withdraw to a private abode or to any secluded situation.

I am going to "retreat" this weekend.  For a portion of it I will be working with a couple of other women in leading a group of Christian sisters for a time away from every day life.  We will laugh, sing, eat, study, pray and generally just enjoy being together.  

Even though I will have some duties, I am excited and anticipating time away - to 'retreat' for myself.  I'm pretty good at carving out time to be alone, but there is just something about being away from the everyday routine, in different surroundings, that enables me to listen more closely for God's voice. I challenge you to do the same this weekend.  Find some time to slip away, to get out of your normal routine and spend some time listening for God. Think about where you are on this lenten journey and where you want to be as we draw closer to the Cross. 

I'm going to spend some time in this place.  It may not be the high mountains that I so desperately want to visit again, but this is a sacred place and I haven't visited it in awhile.  A time to sit, to pray and to listen.  May your weekend be blessed, I know mine will be.

Philippians 1:3-4  Every time I  think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy

Why "throwback"?

I love logging on to social media and seeing "throwback Thursday" posts.  To reminisce through pictures that people share, or to see pictures of my own that pop up and bring back memories can be a fun thing,  sometimes nostalgic or even sad. Today I have been thinking about why don't we "throwback" more often in our spiritual journey? How often do you revisit the time when you first said YES to God?   As I thought about that, it dawned on me that many people I know don't do that throwback because thinking back to their experience with church or God is not a positive one.  It may bring thoughts of rules, legalism and criticism. Why revisit a time when you felt that everything you did was not approved of? Why even go to church when all of  your memories of it are about condemnation and feeling you will never be good enough?

That is one reason I am so passionate about sharing my faith.  The God I know and love is not one that places those rules on my life.  Many people like to pull  judgmental verses out of the Bible and build belief systems and doctrines around them. Telling us what to do, what not to do and so forth.  As one who is constantly seeking to learn more, I chose a long time ago to study and look at the whole story.  So see the vast picture that Scripture paints for us, to show us the love and grace God extends to us over and over.  By learning what the setting of each account is, what was going on in the world when it was written and even how words are translated it opens up my heart and mind to so much more understanding. Just like anything really worth knowing it takes work.  It is easier to just take the preacher or teacher's word on something -  unquestionably believing what they say or how they say it. Remember folks - they are just men and women like we are.  They are on their own journey and discovering God's purpose for them, just like we are.  Listen, discuss and then dig in and experience God for yourself.

I take time to get to know the people I love.  I care about their feelings. I try to understand what the meaning is behind their words and actions. I do no less with God.  I read, pray and study in order to understand. Just like with our loved ones, sometimes the things I discover about God are hard to take.  "Forgive someone?! But they don't deserve it!"  Neither did I. "Why should I give her another chance - she will just hurt me again?" God gave me many chances, when I know that my actions hurt His heart.  

Lent is like the ultimate throwback Thursday.  An extended period of time to look inward and see the past. To remember, to evaluate and to grow.  It is also a reminder that I'm not that person anymore, God changed me, Jesus loves me and as we journey to that ultimate "Throwback Thursday" in a few weeks, when we will spend agonizing time in the garden, we also know that Sunday is coming!  

What is your wilderness?

I imagine that when you hear the word wilderness you get an immediate image in your mind. I have been thinking about that word today.  So of course I went to my 1828 Webster's Dictionary to look up the definitions.

wilderness:

1. A desert; a tract of land or region uncultivated and uninhabited by human beings, whether a forest or wide open plain.  In the United States, it is applied only to a forest. In Scripture, it is applied frequently to the deserts of Arabia.  The Israelites wandered in the wilderness forty days.

2. The ocean.

3. A state of disorder.

4. A wood in a garden, resembling a forest.

So then I got thinking about my wilderness journey for lent.

This is how I usually first imagine wilderness.  Barren and empty.  A vast stretch of nothingness that is hard to look at and even harder to be in.  There doesn't seem to be anything there - no nourishment, no shelter and of course solitary.

For some this may be more in mind when wilderness is mentioned.  Still pretty empty, but rougher terrain to be navigated and harsh conditions still. 

For many the ocean is wilderness - all of that vast space stretching out to the horizon. The rhythm of the waves and the colors.  It can seem desolate, but we know the ocean is teeming with life.

My wilderness - the mountains.

For the remainder of this season of lent I'm going to keep this image of wilderness in my mind.  Yes, it is still rugged and isolated. But there is nourishment there.  There is water, and the mountains that, for me, are so uplifting.   There is shelter, there is so much to look at, touch, smell and listen to. So often when we think of being in the wilderness for lent it is about sacrifice and 'giving up'.  While I do believe those things are important, I'm going to think a little differently about wilderness now. There are 3 accounts of Jesus being led by the Spirit into the desert.  It is also referred to as wilderness.  When satan came to tempt Jesus there were various things that he put before him: extreme wealth.  from atop a mountain he showed him vast kingdoms and splendor, he promised Jesus everything if he would just denounce God.  There are various things  that tempt us - the pleasures, the promise of 'stuff' and the quest for more.  Where do you place God in all of it? Where do you go to separate yourself from the temptations of the world?  I don't think wilderness needs to be a place of complete deprivation  though when we do remove extraneous things from our lives for a period of time it can help us focus.  For me it is more about taking the time, right where I am, to shut out the world and focus on God's purpose for me and how I am living that out.  If I put this picture in front of me I don't need to physically be in the mountains, but my mind can take me there and then I can imagine sitting there with God, listening for his voice. Should I get the chance to go to the mountains I will also take it, but God can meet me and He can meet you right where you are, so find your wilderness and let Him in.

Do a little ironing

Over 20 years ago I was in the midst of a lenten study and was feeling a little discouraged. Just like we hear every year, I was challenged to do something different, give something up, increase my spiritual practices, fast, pray more........you know the list.  I would read devotional books written by great scholars and wonder "how in the world do you pray for hours at a time!?" 

I can remember one early spring day vividly. We were living in Del Rio and I was standing in our back sunporch where my washing machine and ironing board were located.  Our daughter was off to school and my husband was at work at the bank.  I had done my morning quiet time and was now facing a huge mountain of ironing that I had let go too long. Waylon's dress shirts, slacks, cotton dresses, blouses.......ugh!  I hate to iron.   Then I remembered an entry I had read in one of my favorite daily readings (and this book is still one of my favorites). 

Drudgery is one of the finest tests to determine the genuineness of our  character. Drudgery is work that is far removed from anything we think of as ideal work. It is utterly hard, menial, tiresome, and dirty work. And when we experience it, our spirituality is instantly genuine. Read John 13. In this chapter, we see the Incarnate God performing the greatest example of drudgery - washing fishermen's feet. He then says to them, "If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet"  (John 13:14) . The inspiration of God is required if drudgery is to shine with the light of God upon it. In work sanctified and holy forever. It may be a very common every day task, but after we have seen it done, it becomes different. When the Lord does something through us, He always transforms it. Our Lord takes our human flesh and transforms it, and now every believer's body has become "the temple of the Holy Spirit". (1 Corinthians 6:19).   Oswald Chambers - from My Utmost for His Highest.

I write notes in my books and Bible and this passage spoke to me that day. I knew I wasn't going to be like a monk and pray for hours each morning and evening.  I was pondering this quoted passage that day and facing the drudgery of ironing that large pile of clothing.  So I just got started.  I didn't move the ironing board to the living room in front of the TV, I simply left it where it lived and looked out at our back yard filled with plants, birds and squirrels.  I started to iron.  With each item I prayed. If it was one of my husband's dress shirts I prayed "Lord, speak to his heart- draw him to You". If it was one of Chelsea's school uniforms I might pray "Help her be a good student today, show Chelsea how to be kind to her friends and be Jesus to those around her". My prayers went on with each item I ironed. I ended up praying for hours that day.  No I wasn't cloistered in a special place, but I was present with God and the items of clothing were prompts.  It is amazing how a simple task, one of drudgery for me, can become a holy time of prayer.  

All these years later that is still my practice when ironing. So it is one lenten practice that has become part of my regular life.  Now my prayers are different - as I iron my husband's dress shirts I pray "Lord, when he wears this shirt, let him be your instrument of grace" (since he works as a chaplain now my prayers are much different than all of those times I simply prayed for him to know God).  I also pray when I iron my own clothing, that I constantly be listening and obeying. For the most part I always iron in a quiet room, with no distractions. Do I now like to iron? NO! Yet because I open myself to God the common tasks of drudgery can become something truly holy.  

Yes, I have a full ironing basket today, so I will pray.

Silence and distraction!

It has been a week since I wrote a devotional thought on this blog.  My intentions for lent were to write every day.  Instead - silence.  I have been contemplating my spiritual journey, my work endeavors and my life in general.  In all of that pondering - silence.  I spent more time with noise turned off, I looked at decisions I have been making about my spiritual well being as well as my physical self.  I have been distracted.  Isn't that how the wilderness is!? Things come at us, to tempt us away from our walk with God and our determination to 'do the right things'.

This quote by C.S. Lewis is speaking to my heart today

The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says, "Give me All.  I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You.  I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it.  No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree cut down.....Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked - the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours."   - From Mere Christianity

I write these entries for me.  I share them because I feel called to do so.  Once I hit 'send' I have been obedient.  If they are read is of no matter- I simply do what my heart tells me to do.  What distracts you?  Is it family, or hobbies?  Do you get torn away by pleasure after a long hard work week?  Do the pile of bills and debt take your mind away from focusing on your heart and your purpose?  

Silence is good - my challenge to myself is this: let the silence I love lead me closer to the person God is calling me to be.  I don't want the distractions to lead me away.

My Bucket of Life List!

Several years ago when the popular movie The Bucket List  came out many people were intentional about their own lists of things to do before they "kick the bucket".  I did make a list, but I choose to call mine my bucket of life list.  Things I want to accomplish or experience. I have crossed a few things off, including ziplining on one of the longest lines in north America last fall!

The interesting thing about that adventure was that most people  I talked to said "once you step off that first platform it gets easier and easier".  I found the exact opposite to be true. This particular zipline course had 5 platforms. My husband and I rode in a troop transport, along with our two guides.  We were scheduled with a group of 10 but it was a rainy day and the others cancelled, so we ended up having our own private guides. After we were all rigged up and rode up the winding moonshine back road, and yes we zipped over some abandoned stills from years ago, we climbed up to the first small platform and listened closely to the instructions. Next we watched one of the guides zip away before each of us did the same.  We chose a course where the guides did the braking for us, and after we were safely on the next platform the second guide would zip down to us.  Each platform was progressively higher off of the ground, and the line longer.  As I would stand on that small block of wood and ready myself to step off into nothingness my anxiety level went higher! Each one was harder and harder for me to take that step off. Once I was on the way, it was beautiful and fun. I just didn't like stepping off, even knowing that I was secure in the harness and multiple safety hooks.  

Some years I approach the season of lent like I did those zipline platforms.  I look ahead of me at the temptations, or the spiritual journey I desire to take, and it is hard to step off into the unknown.  I run through all of the what-ifs in my head. "What if I set out to pray more and study more, but I fail?"  "What if I plan to use kinder words with those I love, but repeatedly fall into old patterns?" "What if I vow to God to listen more closely for  His voice, but my own voice screams louder in my head the more I try to follow God?"  Lent, and deepening our spiritual walk, can be a hard thing.  Another thing that I worked on over the last two years from my bucket of life list was writing a book.  It was a journey that I wanted to take, simply for me.  To tell my story, whether anyone ever read it or not. I learned a lot in that process, and probably the hardest lesson was expressing things that I hold so very closely to my heart but to take them out and look at them objectively. I didn't set out to create the next great literary work, I simply wanted to share with people that our stories are important and if we aren't able to voice those deep things that dwell inside, then perhaps writing them down is a way to pass them along.  Giving others a glimpse of ourselves hopefully prompts them to dig a little deeper into their own lives.  That was my prayer for this simple little book. 

I crossed another thing off of my bucket of life list - but I always add another item back in. To always be growing, to always be learning and to share my love for God along the way is what keeps me going.  

Discovering Me: The Journey to Long Gray Hair in a Cut and Dyed World

SATURDAY - words for lent

Words to post around my home for lent - you can choose your own!

S - surrender

A - awareness

T-  trust

U- understanding

R- reliance

D- determination

A- acceptance

Y- yearning

Lord, as I venture into the wilderness help me surrender to Your will.  Make me aware of Your presence and trust the path You have planned out for me. Give me total understanding of the Scriptures that I study.  Help me rely on You and not on my own desires and those of the world.  Keep me determined to seek You through the entire season of lent and beyond. Help me accept the opportunities that come before me and to feel worthy.  Strengthen the yearning in my heart that my desire for You never grows cold ~ Amen.

Solitude - on a Friday!?

I'll bet some of you are thinking "hooray - it's Friday!" And it is a 3 day weekend, so for some it's even more exciting, a few days off to play or just enjoy some down time. When I used to work outside of the home being in solitude wasn't what I thought about on a Friday. I usually had plans, maybe getting together with friends - or a night out.  My weekends now are often filled with visits from 2 very busy granddaughters or doing chores around the house, errands and stuff!  Solitude isn't nearly as plentiful as I would like.

People that know me often see that I love to lead classes, speak to groups and facilitate discussions.  I like to get people talking then sit back and observe. Yesterday I wrote about dormer windows and little cozy spaces that I seek. So as much as I love leading and talking I thrive on solitude.  The stepping back during lent to reflect and ponder things is actually quite welcome in my life.  I realize, however, that solitude is not pleasant for many people.  To get quiet and be alone with your own thoughts can just be too overwhelming or without the busy-ness of life the worries and troubles get larger.  When staying busy it is easier to push things down and not deal with them.

When I started the journey to simplify life last May solitude was part of it, but not enough.  So much time has been spent purging 'things' that I haven't made enough time for the solitude. The very thing I am wanting to eliminate has actually been causing me to lack the simplicity I desire. Multiple boxes of clothes and collections have been removed from our home, yet so much still remains.  In the quest to continue toward simplicity one of the 'less is more' blogs that I follow started a busyness boycott the first of the year.  I have actually been allowing myself to be so busy that I haven't been following the blog,  a vicious circle.  I've kept myself too busy to boycott being busy!

So even though my weekend will be full, with laughter and time spent with women that I love, solitude is on my mind. The stepping back to think about the journey toward the Cross that is stretching ahead of us. I'm wondering what it is that God  will dig out of me, what sin or dark blot needs to be brought to the light and scrubbed clean.  Spending time in solitude to really think about that is key for me.  How are you approaching this season?  Are you willing to set aside time to be alone, to be quiet and listen to God and to your own thoughts?  I challenge you today to at least think about being alone.  I can tell you that I'm going to spend some time on this dock today - to listen to wind in the tall pines, to let the splash of the fountain remind me of refreshment from God. I will simply be - alone.   

Simplicity and regularity are the best guides in finding our way. They allow us to make the discipline of solitude as much a part of our daily lives as eating and sleeping. When that happens, our noisy worries will slowly lose their power over us and the renewing activity of God's Spirit will slowly make its presence known.  Although the discipline of solitude asks us to set aside time and space, what finally matters is our hearts become like quiet cells where God can dwell, wherever we go and whatever we do.  - Making All Things New by Henri J.M. Nouwen

Bunk Beds and Dormer Windows

For as long as I can remember I have loved small spaces.  Cubbyholes, dormer windows with a reading nook and bunk beds. When I visit places for camp or retreat and there are multiple sleeping choices I want the corner or a place with walls around me.  I want to feel cozy and protected.  It is interesting because my husband is somewhat claustrophobic, and will get mildly anxious if in tight spaces or closed in. 

I also find it interesting that I prefer the mountains over the ocean or prairie. I love sitting in that dormer nook and looking out at soaring peaks and tall trees.  When I think about the lenten journey through the wilderness perhaps that is one reason I get anxious.  To see the vast and open desert before me, wide open space that needs to be crossed when I would prefer my safe and cozy nest or den. Surrounding myself with things that make me comfortable.  All the years I lived in west Texas I did appreciate the vast and beautiful skyline- with blazing sunrises and sunsets, but it really was too 'open' for me.  I want trees and large boulders around me, sheltering me and hiding me if necessary. I don't like to be exposed.  I like dark rooms for sleep, cloudy winter days to cuddle in by a fire and a bottom bunk or dormer to hide in. 

Lent is a time of exposure.  Laying open our hearts to examine them and bringing things out in the open. It is a time to dig deep and unearth the sin and issues that trouble you.  Things that are often pushed down and buried rather than brought out and allowed to be cleansed and freshened in the Light.

Psalm 32: 1 Oh what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!

5 Finally I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, "I will confess my rebellion to the Lord". And you forgave me!  All my guilt is gone.

7-8 For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.

While I prefer to snuggle into a bunk bed or a cozy dormer window and observe the world around me while safely tucked into space that I control, I also know that I can't hide from God.  He is with me in all places, even the wide open and scary wilderness.   When Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted the devil did this:

Matthew 4:8-11 Next the devil took him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. "I will give it all to you", he said,  "if you will kneel and worship me."  "Get out of here Satan," Jesus told him, "For  the Scriptures say You must worship the Lord your God and serve only him".  The the devil  went away, and angels came and took care of Jesus.

It is sometimes easier to stay in the safe and protected places, to be comfortable.  Today allow yourself to stand on the mountain or at the edge of an open desert and look at your life.  Open your heart and choose who and what you will worship.  Will you chase after the treasures and glory?  Or will you follow the path God has laid out for you?  It may not be clear, it may take you to places you don't want to go, yet as you walk through the wilderness and listen for God's voice you will not be led astray.  Let the angels tend to you this day in your open and exposed places.  I prefer observing from a dormer window, so let's venture out together!

Confetti to Ashes

41 days.  It has only been 41 days since we celebrated the arrival of 2016. Sitting up and watching the ball drop on Times Square, then the blizzard of confetti falling all around the folks celebrating there seems more like months ago.  In our small family we have already celebrated a couple of birthdays, had sick family members, a couple of short weekend trips for a few of us and work. When I glance back through my calendar it seems to have been so much longer than 41 days!  Now here we are at Ash Wednesday.  Time once again to start a journey to the cross.  40 days (plus Sundays) to contemplate our spiritual condition. After the preparation to 'meet' Christ at the manger, now we prepare our hearts to ponder and make room for the risen Christ.  The wilderness stretches ahead of us, and just like our journey to the manger we know what waits at the end of this journey to the Cross, yet every year we begin again.  We have gone from the kindness and giving of Christmas and in just a little more than a month we have hearts that carry burdens and questions about situations all around us, at least I do.

Today prepare yourself for the wilderness journey.  Take time to worship, pray and gather things around you for the trip.  Perhaps a new journal or notebook for jotting down thoughts and prayers.  Over the next 40 days we will look inward, yet at the same time I will challenge you to really see what is going on around you as well. Today is the beginning - start today by remembering who you are and who God calls you to be.  See you on the road..........

Groundhogs, sometimes I want to be one!

Every year on February 2nd the lowly groundhog gets a lot of attention.  Much ado is made about whether winter will continue or spring will be 'springing'!  This morning I have been contemplating the groundhog a bit.

The groundhog, or woodchuck, is one of 14 species of marmots. These rodents live a feast-or-famine lifestyle and gorge themselves all summer to build up plentiful reserves of fat. After the first frost, they retreat to their underground burrows and snooze until spring, drawing their sustenance from body fat. While hibernating, the animal's heart rate plunges, and its body temperature is not much warmer than the temperature inside its burrow.

Groundhogs are the largest members of the squirrel family. Though they are usually seen on the ground, they can climb trees and are also capable swimmers. These rodents frequent the areas where woodlands meet open spaces, like fields, roads, or streams. Here they eat grasses and plants as well as fruits and tree bark. Groundhogs are the bane of many a gardener. They can decimate a plot while voraciously feeding during the summer and fall seasons. (From National Geographic).

I would prefer to be a reverse groundhog. I would retreat to the mountains in the winter, gorge myself on wonderful comfort food, gaze up through bare branches at the bright blue sky or frolic in pure white snow. I would warm myself by a crackling fire. Then I would hibernate through the heat of the summer. Sometimes it is just hard to peek our heads out of the burrow and face the day.  All of the worries of life just get too overwhelming. Friends who are sick, bills that keep mounting and the never ending stream of gloom and doom that runs through our news feed. Groundhogs simply burrow in, come out to eat, play and maybe swim a bit. They just go about their life. 

The quest to simplify life continues for me, and each small step I take makes me a little more free and a bit more relaxed.  I rely on social media to do my direct sales work but I relish the quiet of a solitary time, just me and God.  I dream of that burrowing down to my special place, to play with yarn on knitting needles or crochet hooks, to cook favorite foods and to nap.  My quest is not to be a millionaire, it is simply to have enough.  Some days it seems even enough is out of reach. Unexpected items break, cars need repair, family members need assistance with yet another crisis. The burrow is looking really good! But  if you are like me, you venture out of your burrow, you peek and see if the sun is shining or if the clouds are obscuring your view and you decide to carry on or hide. Some days I like to hide.

Yes, I love winter.  I live in a place that really doesn't have winter, so I try to create it. I look at pictures of snow, I get out my photo albums of when I did live in snow. I keep the house cold so I can wear sweaters.  I remember. More importantly I look up.  I come out of my comfortable burrow where I can pretend everything is cozy and perfect.  I remember that life isn't perfect, it is a chance every day to start fresh and to grow.  I trust.

Psalm 121:1-2  I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  NLT