Several years ago when the popular movie The Bucket List came out many people were intentional about their own lists of things to do before they "kick the bucket". I did make a list, but I choose to call mine my bucket of life list. Things I want to accomplish or experience. I have crossed a few things off, including ziplining on one of the longest lines in north America last fall!
The interesting thing about that adventure was that most people I talked to said "once you step off that first platform it gets easier and easier". I found the exact opposite to be true. This particular zipline course had 5 platforms. My husband and I rode in a troop transport, along with our two guides. We were scheduled with a group of 10 but it was a rainy day and the others cancelled, so we ended up having our own private guides. After we were all rigged up and rode up the winding moonshine back road, and yes we zipped over some abandoned stills from years ago, we climbed up to the first small platform and listened closely to the instructions. Next we watched one of the guides zip away before each of us did the same. We chose a course where the guides did the braking for us, and after we were safely on the next platform the second guide would zip down to us. Each platform was progressively higher off of the ground, and the line longer. As I would stand on that small block of wood and ready myself to step off into nothingness my anxiety level went higher! Each one was harder and harder for me to take that step off. Once I was on the way, it was beautiful and fun. I just didn't like stepping off, even knowing that I was secure in the harness and multiple safety hooks.
Some years I approach the season of lent like I did those zipline platforms. I look ahead of me at the temptations, or the spiritual journey I desire to take, and it is hard to step off into the unknown. I run through all of the what-ifs in my head. "What if I set out to pray more and study more, but I fail?" "What if I plan to use kinder words with those I love, but repeatedly fall into old patterns?" "What if I vow to God to listen more closely for His voice, but my own voice screams louder in my head the more I try to follow God?" Lent, and deepening our spiritual walk, can be a hard thing. Another thing that I worked on over the last two years from my bucket of life list was writing a book. It was a journey that I wanted to take, simply for me. To tell my story, whether anyone ever read it or not. I learned a lot in that process, and probably the hardest lesson was expressing things that I hold so very closely to my heart but to take them out and look at them objectively. I didn't set out to create the next great literary work, I simply wanted to share with people that our stories are important and if we aren't able to voice those deep things that dwell inside, then perhaps writing them down is a way to pass them along. Giving others a glimpse of ourselves hopefully prompts them to dig a little deeper into their own lives. That was my prayer for this simple little book.
I crossed another thing off of my bucket of life list - but I always add another item back in. To always be growing, to always be learning and to share my love for God along the way is what keeps me going.
No comments:
Post a Comment