Be Prepared

I have spent the last week administering and scoring personality tests and results with a class of women I am working with.  I always love doing personality tests!  What I love even more is seeing the expression on a face when I share the results - it's as if they think I am a mind reader!  It is all in the answering of the questions.   Knowing your personality type can help you learn behaviors and how to respond or react when confronted with various situations. Not only knowing your own personality type, but also understanding opposing types can often help in helping you cope with situations. 

While I love working with this topic and helping others understand it, I also know that my faith adds another whole twist on things.  My personal 'type' is to be very scheduled - organized and have things planned out and know what is coming next. I rely on myself, and it is my nature to take control.  I like to have a plan and then execute that plan and also make sure others do as well.  Life doesn't always go according to my plans!

This blog is a perfect example of how life gets me going in different directions.  I had a plan, a schedule for this entire season of Lent.  I knew what I wanted to post, when, and I even had the rough outline for the entire season.  As you can see, it has been 8 days since my last post - definitely not what I had planned.  Many unknowns, in business, in family life and just the days in general threw me off track.  My perfectly laid out plan went awry.  The very cool thing is that through it all the one thing that didn't waver was my faith.  I became extremely tuned in to God - I trusted deeply that things would work out, even when it seemed impossible.  And this last week that is exactly what happened.  I kept trusting, kept praying, and kept believing.  

Let's take a look at what has happened next with Nehemiah since my last post (we ended with Nehemiah encouraging others to not give up, to not be afraid as they faced the enemies).

Nehemiah 4:15-23 When our enemies heard that we knew of their plans and that God had frustrated them, we all returned to our work on the wall. But from then on, only half my men worked while the other half stood guard with spears, shields, bows and coats of mail. The leaders stationed themselves behind the people of Judah who were building the wall. The laborers carried on their work with one hand supporting their load and one hand holding a weapon.  All the builders had a sword belted to their side. The trumpeter stayed with me to sound the alarm. Then I explained to the nobles and officials and all the people, "The work is very spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. When you hear the blast of the trumpet, rush to wherever it is sounding. Then our God will fight for us!"  We worked early and late, from sunrise to sunset. And half the men were always on guard. I also told everyone living outside the walls to stay in Jerusalem. That way they and their servants could help with guard duty at night and work during the day. During this time, none of us - not I, nor my relatives, nor my servants, nor the guards who were with me - ever took off our clothes. We carried our weapons with us at all times, even when we went for water. NLT

I tend to be a loner - I depend on myself, I get things done and don't like having to depend on others.  This last two weeks have  been a real challenge!  My personal home business relies on team work.  Mostly it depends on me to drive success and results, but there is an element of needing others that can't be denied.  Likewise my work at the non-profit also relies heavily on the contributions of others.  I was laboring so intensively, and trying so hard to get it all done by myself that the enemy was gaining a foothold.  I had a few evenings of illness creeping in, I didn't know how things would get done, I saw the whole thing crumbling after months of hard work.  Just like the workers on the wall - I was tired.  The enemy was closing in and I was about to give up.  Deep inside the 'never give up' attitude took hold.  I first turned to my trusted prayer partners and expressed my anguish over how things were going.  I was open and honest about feeling like a failure.  Then I told others - I shared openly with those also working on the project.  Like Nehemiah, I decided to stand my ground and keep working!  I called others to be on guard and to keep working as well. These last few days I have never let my guard down - fervent prayer, sharing needs with others and working together for a common goal and God is providing for and empowering us.  

These last months there was never any question that God led me to the two jobs I have. The way they each came about was so unbelievable that I knew it was from God.  I think knowing that is what woke me up from my slump of defeat to dig that morsel of hope out of the depths and nurture it, to keep going.  I'm sure more obstacles will come, but I'm sharpening my weapons, I'm going to be prepared for the challenges that the enemy shoots my way.  Imagine Jesus in the wilderness, how must he have felt at this point?  The temptation and challenges must have been extreme at this point in those 40 days.  How are YOU doing? Are you standing firm in the face of challenges and situations that are getting you down?  Are you letting the enemy take hold?  Get your weapons out!  Keep working, keep looking to God and always be prepared.  

Prayer:  Lord help me this day to keep going.  Keep that goal in front of me, so that I can see it and know that it is worth fighting for. Help me see YOUR vision for my life, and help me when the enemy tries to divert me from Your plan.  Hear my prayers, surround me with others who are willing to stand beside me to accomplish Your will.  Be my All.  In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.

No matter what!

How do you respond to pressure and difficulty?  I'm finding, just recently, that I'm changing how I respond.  I used to just shut down and hide when things got hard.  It has taken lots of prayer, self-talk and determination to change my reactions.   Yesterday I was talking to a loved one and can't believe that these words came out of my mouth "either things will go how we want, or they will go opposite but they will still happen.  We can choose to expect the best and adjust if they don't or we can worry and fret to make ourselves sick about it - I'm choosing to expect the best".  I can't tell you how much time I have spent in the past worrying, being extremely pessimistic and doubtful.  If I had only learned this behavior much sooner I think some of my stress would have been less.  

I'm really enjoying this study of Nehemiah, so applicable for my life right now, I hope you are too!  Let's see what is happening next:

Nehemiah 4:7-14 But when the Sanballat and Tobiah and the Arabs, Ammonites, and Ashodites heard the work was going ahead and that the gaps in the wall of Jerusalem were being repaired, they were furious. They all made plans to come and fight against Jerusalem and throw us into confusion. But we prayed to our God and guarded the city day and night to protect ourselves. Then the people of Judah began to complain. "The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves. Meanwhile, our enemies were saying, "Before they  know what is happening, we will swoop down on them and kill them and end their work". The Jews who lived near the enemy came and told us again and again, "They will come from all directions and attack us!" So I placed armed guards behind the lowest parts of the wall in the exposed areas.  I stationed the people to stand guard by families, armed with swords, spears, and bows. Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, "Don't be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!"

Opposition and trials WILL come to us! It's all in how we choose to handle them.  When things get too hard and seem impossible the easy road is to just say "I give up, it will never work - there is just 'too much rubble' to be removed".  But then here comes Nehemiah! Ever looking to God and always keeping his vision and goal in mind.  Who is the Nehemiah for you?  Perhaps it is you?  Take heed of Nehemiah's choices: 1) Pray 2) Take action 3) Take more action! 4) Believe and encourage those around you, share your hope with them. 5) Again, give thanks to God.   Lastly - don't give up , fight.

Times are hard right now, but I certainly don't want to stay here!  How will you react to challenges today?  Keep following the example of Nehemiah: stay tuned in to God, do what you can, and keep going.  

John 16:33   I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

Prayer:  Lord help me be bold today.  Help me face whatever obstacles and challenges come my way.  Help me encourage others, so that we can work together in Your power and grace.  In Jesus' name ~ Amen.

Keep Going or Give Up?

I have a closet full of UFOs and PiGs.  It's not what you think!  I am a crafter!  I have UnFinished Objects and Projects In Grocerybags...... many of them.  There are quilts, wall hangings, embroidery, yarn crafts and more. My stash has gone down considerably when I started on the quest to simplify our home almost 2 years ago.  I went through that closet and weeded out many projects and supplies that I determined I would never complete or use. It was a hard process, because nearly all of those items were bought for a special reason.  I either intended to make the item as a gift, it was for a special decorating touch or simply because I loved the pattern.  I would say I have reduced those items in my craft closet by at least half, maybe more, yet I still have way too many unfinished items.  When I go through that process of eliminating I take each item - hold it, think about what I would do with it if I did complete it and make the decision whether to continue or quit.

One of my favorite crafts has always been quilting.  Years ago when I lived in another town there was no quilt guild so I turned to internet groups and found a wonderful group of women that were like minded.  We formed an online quilting group where we shared ideas, we participated in quilt block exchanges long distance and a few of us even got together for our own retreats.  Now a handful of those women are still some of my closest friends, yet some I have never met in person.  In my box of UFOs some of the things I just can't let go are quilt blocks that I exchanged with that group.  When our first granddaughter came along and was at our home most of the time the quilting got put away.   I don't have a designated craft room anymore so to have all of the pins, needles, frames and supplies around with a baby just didn't seem practical, so I haven't worked on a quilting project for almost 8 years.  

I've been thinking about unfinished projects and not following through with things the last few days.  We are at just about the half way point in Lent.  Some people may have started out with strong intentions of spiritual practices for the season at they sat in Ash Wednesday worship yet now those intentions have withered away to nothing.  The time set aside is just too hard, the prayer devotional time is just too tedious, the service project just takes too much time, the fasting was a good intention but.... well , no.  It's all just too hard.   My hand is raised, I'm right there with you!  This very blog is a perfect example ~ I allowed other things to lead me away from something I intended to do for Lent, study and contemplate this Bible story.

So let's catch back up with Nehemiah:

Nehemiah 4:1-6 Sanballat was very angry when he learned that we were rebuilding the wall. He flew into a rage and mocked the Jews, saying in front of his friends and the Samarian army officers, "What does this bunch of poor feeble Jews think they're doing? Do they think they can build a wall in a single day just by offering a few sacrifices? Do they actually think they can make something of stones from a rubbish heap - and charred ones at that?" Tobiah the Ammonite, who was standing beside him remarked, "That stone wall would collapse if even a fox walked along the top of it!" Then I prayed, "Hear us, our God, for we are being mocked. May their scoffing fall back on their own heads, and may they themselves become captives in a foreign land! Do not ignore their guilt. Do not blot out their sins, for they have provoked you to anger here in front of the builders." At last the wall was completed to half its height around the entire city, for the people had worked with enthusiasm. NLT

How much easier would it have been for all of those people to just quit? They could have all turned around and gone back to whatever they were doing and just said "it's too hard!"  But there was Nehemiah - he had a vision, he was passionate and he turned once again to God. How much easier would it have been to give in to the bullying, the oppression, the put downs.  I have been thinking a lot about giving up in the last few weeks.  Things just seem to hard.  Business ventures that at times just seem way too hard, unexpected big bills that seem impossible to pay, broken items and even relationships that appear to be beyond repair.  It would be easier to just turn from it all and walk in the other direction.  Then I go spend a few days with some old friends........ including one who is 'living' with cancer.  She is facing her death.  We all know that we will die, she just is pretty certain that it will be before most of us and she is living fully.  As I sat around a porch with other women, and a few men now and then, I listened intently to those around me.  Almost without exception every person had huge obstacles in their lives that seemed impossible to get around.  There were illnesses, extreme financial burdens, relationship break downs, grief and more.  Any one of those things can cause a person to cut and run. What it did for me was make me more determined than ever!  I stepped outside of myself for a few days and realized that no matter how bad it gets I'm going to keep going.  I'm going to have the determination and drive of Nehemiah.  I'm going to continue to rely on my God to get me through.

I have a picture hanging on my dining room wall that was once a project in my craft closet. About 25 years ago my sister and I were in a rundown junk store and I found a piece of linen stuffed in a bag with embroidery thread.  It was dusty, the printed instructions were faded and there were only a few stitches completed on the project.  I bought it for $1.  I loved the scene so much that I completed the project, even without clear instructions.  Some of the thread was faded in color, but I completed the project with what came in that crumpled bag. As I worked on it I wondered who had started it and why it wasn't finished.  Did she just not like the project or did something happen in her life that it got stuffed in the bag and forgotten?  How long had it sat in that junk shop and gathered dust?  My wondering continued as I completed it.  That stitchery is one of my favorite pieces that I have ever done and I look at it every day.  Sometimes I just remember working on the project, others I really look at the words and pray them to God.......

Be a Nehemiah today.  Keep looking to God and say "I won't give up!" Be encouraged that you have made it 'half way'.  The first half may have been hard and full of opposition, and the second half may be better than you even imagined.  The days are hard and sometimes I think it would be easier to just turn around and quit.  But I know what is at the end of this second half of Lent and that is what keeps me going.  I know the end of the story and I take peace in that.  Jesus was tempted those 40 days he was in the wilderness.  He faced impossible circumstances and was promised by the devil great things if he would just give in.  He didn't........ I won't.   Will you?

Prayer: Lord walk beside me today.  Hold me up when I need it and help me face the huge obstacles that keep popping up.  Keep my eyes focused on what is important and not give up when it it gets hard.  Instill hope in me, and help me share that hope with others as I go about my day.  In Jesus' name - Amen.

Together or Separate?

How would you describe yourself when it comes to working with others? My husband often talks about getting things done around our home and coming up with ways to do those things by himself.  We have many projects that he has managed to complete all on his own, by using ingenuity and plain old creative thinking.  I fully admit that I love to be in charge, but I also realize that it takes teamwork and cooperation to get most things done.  We all have skills and talents and when we put those together we can accomplish great things.

Today I hope you will take a moment to read chapter 3 of Nehemiah.  I am not going to type the entire thing out, but you can learn a lot from those verses if you take just a little time.  At first glance it seems like a lot of boring lists of names.  When you really dig in there is a wealth of information in this chapter.

In a nutshell it is a list of those who came together to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem.  In that list you will find some interesting facts.  Some who came together to work on that project:

*priests

*sons, grandsons

*leaders who refused to work with certain people

*daughters

*goldsmiths

*perfumers

*leaders of districts

*temple servants

*neighbors

*merchants

Are you getting the picture?  Many people, from various walks of life, had a common purpose and they came together to get the job done.  Not one of those groups could have done it alone, but together the pile of rubble started to take form again.  Nehemiah had a vision, a plan and a goal that required a large group of people to come together in order to complete that plan. I love the wording "next to them, next to him, after him,  across from his own house....." I can picture it! Seeing work being done, something special being accomplished and wanting to be part of it.  

Where in your life are you 'on the outside, looking in?'  What is going on around you that you wish you were part of? There are a lot of things that can separate us from others, or a better way to put it would be how we allow ourselves to be separated from others. It is kind of disheartening to look back at most of my adult life and wish I had done things differently.  I worked at jobs or on projects that I thought were expected of me, all while ignoring the pull on my heart to do something completely different. It has been a long process but now I feel like I'm listening and following the path I'm meant to be on. All that I have learned in these first 59 years of my life are coming together and I'm excited to see what is next. Turning 60 is like opening a new door to a bright and unknown land that begs to be discovered. I have a plan, I have goals and I'm going to figure out a way to do the impossible!  The things I do now, particularly in my work, require me to work next to and with others.  Some days I still feel like I'm on the outside looking in, as if my days go by with someone else directing them. I  want to be like Nehemiah, to see the pile of rubble before me and want to rebuild it. To inspire others and invite them to come along with me, to build something great. 

My 'dare greatly' always involves God.  Yesterday I had moments when it seemed like all that I work for and strive to achieve is so far out of reach that I might as well give up.  Then that small voice stirs inside of me and says "I never gave up. I believe in you. I never said it would be easy, you have much to learn as you keep going".  So today I will.  I will keep talking about my vision and my plan. I will look for others that see the good we can accomplish together - and before we know it others will be 'next to us, come from across the street' and we will build.  Opposition will come, another pile of rubble will need to be cleared before the building continues.  

Keep moving the debris out of your life as we continue to journey through Lent.  Learn from chapter 3 of Nehemiah - that coming together allows us to build strength out of destruction and God's hand will guide you through it all.

Prayer: Lord help me see Your vision in the impossible.  Bring those that will share my vision to stand along side of me, to work in the dirt and find the beauty that is there to be uncovered.  Help me to step out, to join in and to do.  Lead me forward, help me push the debris aside and build on Your foundation.  Bring the unexpected helpers into my life, that we might have a common goal of doing Your work.  I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Let's do it!!

Today would have been my mom's 94th birthday.  She lived to age 87 and she had a rich and varied life.  As I celebrated my 60th birthday recently I have been thinking a lot about stages of life and things I have experienced.  I also recalled that my mom moved to Texas (after both of her girls had married and moved here) at age 62.  She had lived, worked, buried her husband while  enjoying life in the same small California mountain town for most of her adult life to that point.  She moved to a completely different type of community and into an apartment.  She quickly got involved in many community clubs and activities, she continued to work well into her 70's.  When I think about my mom and all that she did and enjoyed after her move to Texas it made me realize even more that we can have new and exciting things in our lives when we choose to explore and discover them.  

Sometimes that means 'rebuilding' or starting something over.  My mom had lived and worked in a very familiar town and loved her work.  The pull to live closer to her children and grandchildren was stronger for her than to remain in a familiar place and lifestyle. She worked to make new friends, experience new things and so much more -beginning at age 62.   Most of us won't make big moves like that, but something else came to mind today as I have been contemplating all of that.  What about just rebuilding?  Maybe there is a relationship that has been in ruins for many years, and you might not even remember what caused the damage.  Or maybe there is something you always loved to do, and just gave it up -why not revisit a talent, a skill, a hobby?  Is your spiritual life in excellent shape? Maybe that wall of God's presence around you has been crumbling and you feel like you are aimlessly moving through life without direction.   Think about rebuilding.  

Rebuilding has been on my mind as I continue to read Nehemiah:

Nehemiah 2:17-20 But now I said to them, "You know very well what trouble we are in. Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire.  Let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and end this disgrace!" Then I told them about how the gracious hand of God had been on me, and about my conversation with the king. They replied at once, "Yes, let's rebuild the wall." So they began a good work. But when the Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem the Arab heard of our plan, they scoffed contemptuously. "What are you doing? Are you rebelling against the king?" they asked.  I replied, "The God of heaven will help us succeed. We, his servants, will start rebuilding this wall. But you have no share, legal right, or historic claim in Jerusalem."

Nehemiah had spent a lot of time on the thought of rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem. He started with a conversation and prayer with God, he formulated plans and he took action. Imagine when he saw the rubble in person and how overwhelmed he must have felt!  He acknowledges that trouble and hard times are ahead, but always relying on God he moves forward.  Do you do that in the things you are facing?  Do you push on ahead, even when things seem impossible?  Back to my mom, a move across the country to a totally different lifestyle could have seemed impossible for her.  She made a plan, she did as much research as she could and she had trust.  She was facing life not knowing anyone (peers) and going to live in an apartment community after years of living in her own home.  She built a new life that was rich, active and so fulfilling.  After she died, while reminiscing my sister and I got to thinking about things and we determined that she had lived in that apartment longer than she had lived in any other home!  She had lived in other towns for longer periods, but not in one home  like she did that apartment.  She built something new and she nurtured that new life that she made. 

So whether you are desiring a total rebuild, a repair or maybe just an improvement, take a long look today and then get started.  Be determined, like Nehemiah, to move forward no matter what obstacles or opposition may come.  Blessings have an interesting way of showing up when you least expect them.

Prayer:  God help me look deep inside today.  Do I have places that are in rubble and need rebuilding?  Are You calling me to go forward to something new?  Help me hear You and take those steps to action.  Don't let circumstances or worry cripple me from going the distance.  Walk with me through it all with your hand of grace upon my shoulder.  In all things I thank You - Amen.

Hope in the rubble

It's about to be party central around here!  I turned 60 a couple of days ago so this weekend we are going to celebrate with family and friends.  We have had a plan in place, and gathered food and other items - to be ready.  But before a plan is put in motion some evaluation needs to take place.  My husband and I have had the plan in place for awhile, and we let people know a long time ago.  As we looked at the calendar we knew it was the beginning of spring break and  some people would need to travel a few hours to get here, and make their plans, so we wanted them to know what we were thinking.  

Now the time is here, and a deeper evaluation is necessary.   Of course, reading Nehemiah this morning got me thinking about just that!  Let's take a look:

Nehemiah 2:11-16 So I arrived in Jerusalem. Three days later, I slipped out during the night, taking only a few others with me. I had not told anyone about the plans God had put in my heart for Jerusalem.  We took no pack animals with us except the donkey I was riding. After dark I went out through the Valley Gate, past the Jackal's Well, and over to the Dung Gate to inspect the broken walls and burned gates.  Then I went to the Fountain Gate and to the King's Pool, but my donkey couldn't get through the rubble. So, though it was still dark, I went up to the Kidron Valley instead, inspecting the wall before I turned back and entered again at the Valley Gate.  The city officials did not know I had been out there or what I was doing, for I had not yet said anything to anyone about my plans.  I had not spoken to the Jewish leaders - the priests, the nobles, the officials, or anyone else in the administration. 

Special event celebrations are fun, and the planning is part of that fun. When I turn my thoughts to more serious things, like Nehemiah thinking about the task of rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem, the planning and preparation is much different. When a relationship is broken down, and possibly even in ruins, sometimes it seems impossible to fix.  We can have a great plan in place, but until we examine all aspects the rebuilding can be hard.  We see brokenness and just think to ourselves "I will just fix this, I will change everything about the situation", yet unless we take the time to examine why the relationship is in such a poor state it may just be a band-aid fix that soon is soiled and not really fixing the wound at all. Or perhaps we look at the relationship and see such huge rubble we think there is no way it can be repaired.  I'm sure most who looked at the destruction of Jerusalem looked at that rubble and just said  "There is no way, I'm giving up on the hope of that ever being fixed". Nehemiah was in anguish over the destruction and its effect on the people. He cried out to God and admitted his own sin, he then had a plan.  He put that plan in motion and he then examined further to see for himself what needed to be done.  As he walked around in the darkness, truly examining the rubble I'm sure he still saw hope.  He believed that it would be restored, he saw the beauty pushing through.

Today as you go about your routine, take a moment to examine the relationships in your life. Are there some that are so broken they seem beyond repair?  Look at your part in that and take a deeper look.  Also look at others and really see - perhaps there is more to the situation than is first visible.  Look all around at your relationships from all angles -the lowly 'dung gate' to the 'king's pool' and determine where the cracks are.  Rebuilding is hard and sometimes painful.  But the beauty that can come through restoration is like none other! 

Romans 15:13 I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him.  Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.    

Prayer: Lord, help me today evaluate my situations and relationships.  Let me see deeply, let me see accurately.  Help me recognize the hope and nurture it.  Walk with me through my journey today God, and always.  In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

We gotta have a plan.......

It's been a week since Ash Wednesday.  As you started on the Lenten journey did you have a plan?  As you set aside time to focus over these 40 days did you think of all of the obstacles that you might encounter?  Sometimes we don't know what will happen, but if you plan for the known things the unknown can often be handled better.  Having a plan is a good idea.

Let's see what Nehemiah is up to today:

Nehemiah 2: 7-10  I also said to the king, "If it please the king, let me have letters addressed to the governors of the province west of the Euphrates River, instructing them to let me travel safely through their territories on my way to Judah. And please give me a letter addressed to Asaph, the manager of the king's forest, instructing him to give me timber. I will need it to make beams for the gates of the Temple fortress, for the city walls, and for a house for myself."  And the king granted these requests, because the gracious hand of God was on me.  When I came to the governors of the province west of the Euphrates River, I delivered the king's letters to them.  The king, I should add, had sent along army officers and horsemen, to protect me.  But when Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official heard of my arrival, they were very displeased that someone had come to help the people of Israel.  NLT

I sometimes just jump into things without thinking it through.  That obviously wasn't the case for Nehemiah.  When you read the account of his requests to the king he obviously had a plan.  It also shows that he must have been a favored part of the king's court, from the generosity extended to him along with favors he didn't even ask for. Through it all, his goal was to help people.   I have been known to tackle a new recipe, thinking I had all of the ingredients in my pantry only to discover half way through that I was missing one crucial item.  I also have a large stash of yarn and get a pattern out thinking I have enough to complete the project only to get to the end and be just short of needed supplies because I didn't plan well enough.  Though I don't do those things as often as I used to, (I learned from my hasty mistakes) I still have to remind myself to have a plan!

Do you have plans for your life?  I have big plans and little plans.  Short term goals and long term.  In the past, when working with life coaching clients, I have helped them do exactly that, make plans.  I think most people try to work with goals but unless you really sit down and gather all of your tools and information it is hard to formulate an effective plan. Nehemiah thought of all the issues and situations he might face and he planned for them. Did he encounter unexpected things along the way?  No doubt.  But since he planned for what he did expect he could better handle the unexpected.  

In my family we like to work jigsaw puzzles.  As I was thinking about working a puzzle it went right along with my thoughts on having a plan.  We tend to start with the edges.  We know what to expect, we have the dimensions that are known and we can get that foundation in place before moving forward.  We have a picture to work our puzzle, we know what the finished product will look like.  But as we sort through the piles of pieces we encounter the unexpected.  We start to notice little details that we missed when looking at the big picture.   As we slowly work through each area everything comes in to clearer focus. The plan may be jumbled at first, and a piece may be missing here and there, but by keeping our eyes on the finished product we keep on. 

Nehemiah had a plan.  He moved forward with that plan and goal in his sight.  As you go through your day keep your ultimate goal in sight, plan for how you will reach it and be prepared for the unexpected along the way.  My goal for Lent?  Draw ever closer to God. My plan for this day?  Look at all of my options in business, family, friends and self - think about how I can help others and be of value to them.  By keeping my sights and determination on that helping attitude, I know I will complete the task.  

Prayer: Lord help me this day to look ahead.  Help me think things through and plan for those things that I know.  Bring to mind what I need to be my best.  Help me prepare for the unexpected and like Nehemiah be thankful to You for having your gracious hand upon me.  In Jesus' name I pray.  

Just Ask

I'm one of the worst when it comes to asking questions.  In pondering that I came up with a reason (I think).  I don't like being asked questions!  I tend to hold things in and often I just want to be left alone.  Let me tell you, that is not a good thing.  Almost without exception, the way I am perceived by others is not correct.  What is taken as anger, arrogance or just plain ole' 'stuck up' is really doubt, fear, worry and sadness.  When I make myself more open to questions and am willing to answer them, the truth makes everything better.  

"No, I'm not &%^*$%## off - I'm really sad right now and just thinking things through".  

 "I'm okay, thanks for asking.  I am just having a really hard day and don't quite know what to do about it".  

"Oh no, you didn't do anything!  I just had an intense conversation with my loved one this morning, I guess I let it spill over to you.  We are good!"

Do you see?  People can perceive that we are angry, standoffish or even upset with them for some reason, and if they don't ask the question it then starts them on a path of self doubt or mood change.  If we just ask the question, often the entire path of a conversation or even relationship can change.

Let's look at how Nehemiah handles questions:

Nehemiah 2:1-6 Early the following spring, in the month of Nisan, during the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes' reign, I was serving the king his wine.  I had never before appeared sad in his presence.  So the king asked me, "Why are you looking so sad? You don't look sick to me. You must be deeply troubled."  Then I was terrified, but I replied, "Long live the king!  How can I not be sad?  For the city where my ancestors are buried is in ruins, and the gates have been destroyed by fire."  The king asked, "Well, how can I help you?"  With a prayer to God of heaven, I replied, "If it please the king, and if you are pleased with me, your servant, send me to Judah to rebuild the city where my ancestors are buried."  The king, with queen sitting beside him, asked, "How long will you be gone? When will you return?"  After I told him how long I would be gone, the king agreed to my request."  NLT

I can so identify with Nehemiah.  Months before he had prayed and fallen before God in his anguish over the situation.  It finally got the better of him and there was no denying that something was bothering him.  Those closest to him noticed.  The king was bold enough to ask "Hey, what's up?  This isn't like you, tell me what is going on?"   The guy was still working, still doing what he needed to do but the burden just got too heavy and when asked he spilled it.  When the details came out, more questions.  Imagine that Nehemiah probably had no idea what the reaction would be, he held an important position with the king.  But he answered those questions and ultimately he got what he wanted.  I tried to think of how this could have gone -  my response to others when they ask what is bothering me is usually "Oh, nothing - just doing lots of thinking today".  Then I stew and fret and finally things get so bad that I just bolt. Nehemiah didn't do that.  I wrote yesterday about listening, well today it's about asking and answering.

(if you are like me, now this song will be in your head today - you're welcome! )

The king asked Nehemiah a question and Nehemiah was bold enough to lay it out there. He held an important position, and if that was me I don't know if I could have been bold enough to say "can I just go?"  Nehemiah's actions were going to have impact on the King - he brought him his wine, he looked out for him!  Yet his request was granted.   As you go about your day, ask the questions.  Don't assume you know what is going on in the person next to you, just ask.  Don't think that you always know the answer, sometimes you will.  Often the answer is much different than we anticipate. You won't know fully unless you ask.

Prayer: Lord help me ask questions today.   Remove judgment from me, let me improve in my listening and then practice that listening after I ask questions.  And God - as people ask me questions prompt me to be open and answer fully.  Help me release the fear and anxiety of letting someone into the deepest places.  Help me to understand and be understood.  All of this, God, I JUST ASK.  In Jesus' name.

Tell me what you really want!

I have been watching and listening to a lot of tapes and videos for my business.  One of the lessons I have spent quite a bit a time on is helping someone articulate their 'why'. Listening to discover why someone wants to work in a different job, add more income or simply change things about their present situation.  I don't know anyone that wouldn't want to make more money than they do, but to talk to most people there is a deep desire and a reason for wanting the things they want. I have also tackled this same challenge when working with life coaching clients.  

"Tell me why you want to work from home?"  

"Because I need to make some extra money to pay bills."   

(some people would just stop there)......

"Do you have a specific need, tell me about it?"

"Yes, if I can make $2000 a month it will help us make our second car payment and pay for braces for our child".

"Good, then let's look at how you can do that, and what exactly you need to do!"

By listening and probing just a little bit I can get to the real issue that is bothering someone or the deep dreams and desires they have that they keep inside. Do you do that with yourself?  Do you do that with God?  When we left Nehemiah he was in the middle of a prayer to God.  He had been confessing, and he could have just left it at that - just fallen silent before God and hoped that things would turn out how he wanted.  I don't know about you, but I have fallen to that thinking many times.  I mull things over, I pray about them but I never go quite the next step and voice what I really want.  It's not like God doesn't already know, but I tell myself - "He's God - who am I to think I can question Him?"

Let's listen in on Nehemiah where we left off:

Nehemiah 1:8-11  "Please remember what you told your servant Moses: 'if you are unfaithful to me, I will scatter you among the nations. But if you return to me and obey my commands and live by them, then even if you are exiled to the ends of the earth, I will bring you back to the place I have chosen for my name to be honored.'    "The people you have rescued by your great power and strong hand are your servants. O Lord, please hear my prayer! Listen to the prayers of those of us who delight in honoring you. Please grant me success today by making the king favorable to me.  Put it in his heart to be kind to me."   In those days I was the king's cupbearer.

The cupbearer to the king was an important person.  In the days of Nehemiah, where plots and plans to destroy were rampant, the cupbearer was a highly trusted position in the king's court.  He was in charge of bringing the wine to the king, and often tasting said wine to assure the cup had not been tainted with poison. We will learn a bit later of some of the things Nehemiah accomplished so his position was also believed to be a quite lucrative one. After Nehemiah confessed to God he went on to remind God of the past.  I honed in more on the the next line "Oh Lord, hear my prayer!"  Nehemiah asked to be heard, he asked for others to be heard and he asked for a good day with his boss.  We will learn in the coming days how Nehemiah also was bold in asking those around him for what he wanted, but it started with God.   

I have been going through a prolonged period of insomnia.  I will have a few days when I sleep well and deeply, but for the most part the readings on my FitBit tell the story - not much sleep going on!  I can run through great scenarios in my head in the dark of night.  I can write profound letters and earth shattering articles that will change how people think. I also can spend hours doubting, wondering, worrying and questioning.  When I read this scripture passage this morning I thought to myself "Connie, what do you really want?"  I guess I'm like anyone else, I want to be heard.  I want to be believed, I want to be trusted.  I want to succeed.  But do I take those specifics to God?  Do you?  I asked myself if I had gotten to the place where Nehemiah was, so troubled by the situation that he fell down and pleaded with God and confessed.   I'm getting better and better at listening to people to learn what they really want and need.  But do I listen to my own thoughts and determine what I need, do I get quiet long enough to listen for God?

Today I throw a challenge out there for you - as you go through your day be intentional about listening. Instead of spending time formulating your answer before they are done speaking to you, listen and pause.  Listen to your co-workers.  Listen to your family and friends.  Listen to those around you.  Especially be listening for what they aren't saying. Pause a little longer, or ask a deeper question then give them space to express what it is they want.  As you get better at listening to others, I think you will find you are better able to tell God what you really want.  The process of hearing what others say and need may empower you do the same. 

Prayer: "Help me listen today God.  Help me pause long enough for others to speak.  Help me listen deeply and fully.  Then help me listen for You.  Help me be bold in my questioning of You, and open my ears to fully hear You.  

It's not my fault!

If you spend any time at all around young children you will here these words "But it's not my fault!  She made me do it!"  Are we any different?  I think as we grow and mature we just get better in our delivery.  Finger pointing is as old as time, just think back to that encounter in the Garden of Eden between Adam, Eve and God.  

As we just get started on this journey of Lent part of the process is self reflection.  Looking deeply at ourselves and being honest.  I've already heard lots of words thrown around with friends "What are you giving up this year? "  "I'm adding things in (prayer, service, acts of kindness) rather than giving something up." "I'm on a quest to make things simpler, so I have more time with God".  There is nothing wrong with any of these things, but why are you doing them?  Shouldn't this be our practice and our attitude all year long if we are true followers of God?

Let's visit with Nehemiah again:

Nehemiah 1:5-7 Then I said, "O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps his covenant of unfailing love with those who love him and obey his commands, listen to my prayer! Look down and see me praying night and day for your people Israel. I confess that we have sinned against you. Yes, even my own family and I have sinned!  We have sinned terribly by not obeying the commands, decrees, and regulations that you gave us through your servant Moses. NLT

Wow, Nehemiah started out being troubled about the state of the people of Jerusalem.  He prayed and cried out to God, but look at his words today - he is confessing, "I, me and my". As I go out to serve, give and do have I first been flat out before God asking Him to forgive me? As you boldly say to everyone around "Oh, I gave up chocolate for Lent - I'm showing obedience to God you know, He's really working on me about discipline" - then you secretly binge on the Hershey's kisses in the pantry or plan the most decadent chocolate cake for Easter dessert, are you really drawing closer to God?

This journey that I have been on for the last 6 weeks or so, after that retreat and just digging in with Nehemiah for one short 45 minute session, has been nagging at me.  The big looming mountain that I'm standing in front of and the broken places in the wall that surround it seem just too big and beyond repair  I want to cry out "It's too hard God, and really it's not MY fault so why am I having to deal with it!?"

Service, prayer and acts of kindness are excellent things that we are charged to do as followers of Christ. Giving things up - fasting, can also be a selfless act to help you draw closer to God.  First though - look at why.  As I start on this journey my first act is to hit my knees and be honest with God.  It's not like He doesn't know anyway.  I will accept my part in each circumstance.  I think all of us are familiar with the passage that we call the Lord's prayer, have you looked at the next verses beyond that?

Matthew 6:16-18 And when you fast, don't make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so that people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth that is the only reward they will ever get. But when you fast, comb your hair and wash your face. Then no one will notice that you are fasting, except your Father, who knows what you do in private. And your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.  NLT

One more tidbit from The Believer's Commentary: Fasting has no merit as far as salvation is concerned, neither does it give a Christian special standing with God...... when a Christian fasts secretly as a spiritual exercise, God sees and rewards....... it can aid in one's prayer life by taking away dullness and drowsiness. It is valuable in times of crisis when one wishes to discern the will of God.  And it is of value in promoting self-discipline. Fasting is a matter between an individual and God and should be done only with a desire to please Him.  It loses its value when it is imposed from outside or displayed from a wrong motive. (pg 1225).

Like Nehemiah let's first put ourselves squarely in front of God and confess.  Before we can move forward, it is crucial to accept our part in whatever it is we are wanting to conquer. My journey seems impossibly long and hard, but I know with God I can overcome it.   

Prayer and focus for today:  Lord, forgive me for turning from You.  Forgive my actions and words that may have hurt others.  Help me to see the places where I have been at fault, the choices I have made that have contributed to the very thing that I want to be freed from. Hear the deepest desires of my heart, just You and me.  Walk with me today, and guide my steps.  In Jesus' name I pray. 

What breaks your heart?

A couple of months ago I attended a leadership retreat for a ministry job that I was participating in.  During that retreat we had one session on a small portion of Scripture that really spoke to me.  Since that time I have pondered and pondered it and a few weeks ago I knew, without doubt, that I would choose that book for my Lenten focus.  It is quite unusual as a study for this season of preparation, reflection, repentance and journeying with Jesus. I have always shared that I write this blog space for myself and if anyone else reads it I just pray that there is a nugget  that speaks to the heart.  So let's go on a journey these next few weeks as we travel the road to the Cross, and I hope my musings and reflection spark something in you as well.

Have you ever been so troubled by something, some circumstance or situation, that when you hear about it you just weep?  I'm not talking just personal and family issues, but large things that seem so impossible to make right that the overwhelm just stops you in your tracks. Now I will NOT venture into politics or other social issues of our day as those very things cause me to stop and weep, I'm thinking more on a personal level.  I know what things loom in front of me, or a better description would be what seem to be crumbling before me and how impossible it seems to fix them.  Come on a journey with me to the world of Nehemiah.  Most of this book is written in the first person and there is  some question as to whether it is written in part by Ezra. Nehemiah was a cupbearer to King Artaxerxes.   

Nehemiah 1:1-4  These are the memoirs of Nehemiah son of Hacaliah.  It was late autumn in the month of Kislev, in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes' reign. I was at the fortress of Susa. Hanani, one of my brothers, came to visit me with some other men who had just arrived from Judah.  I asked them about the Jews who had returned there from captivity and about how things were going in Jerusalem.  They said to me, "Things are not going so well for those who returned to the province of Judah.  They are in great trouble and disgrace.  The wall of Jerusalem has been torn down, and the gates have been destroyed by fire."  When I heard this, I sat down and wept.  In fact, for days I mourned, fasted, and prayed to the God of heaven.   NLT

I don't know about you, but sometimes I just need a good cry!  I even wrote a bit about crying the other day.  Nehemiah had a heart for the city, and the people.  His first reaction was weeping.  Look at what else he did - fasted, prayed and turned to God.  Those are common disciplines for Lent.  As I sat in Ash Wednesday worship yesterday those very things were talked about and encouraged for the next 40 days.  They certainly will be part of my practices, but this year I'm intentionally thinking big.  I'm looking at a life situation that seems impossible, insurmountable and so out of the question to be fixed that it just makes me weep, and I'm turning to God.

Your challenge today is to do what Nehemiah did- ask the question.  "How are things going?"  Take a good look deep inside at the big mountains you are facing and ask "how is it going? What is the condition I'm in, and what is the biggest thing that needs repair?"  

Prayer and focus for today:  Lord help me take the blinders off.  Reveal to me the real issue(s) that are facing me.  Help me not to ignore them but to weep for the situation, then pray and turn to You.  Today may my heart be opened to the pain, so that I can hold it, look at it and acknowledge it.  Help me see and then call me to You for help.  In Jesus' name I pray.