12 Days of Christmas - Ponder WHO DO YOU LISTEN TO?

I talk to myself. How often have you heard people say, "Talking to yourself is okay; if you start answering, that might be a problem!" Lately, I find myself listening too much to negative talk in my head. There is so much to be grateful for, yet my words to myself turn to negativity and doubt. I took my teen granddaughter for a "Grammy time" weekend a few months ago, just the two of us. I like to come up with surprise activities, but as the granddaughters get older, finding things to do together that they will enjoy is harder. I love to go to the painting studios where you are guided in a group to all work on the same painting. It isn't fine artwork; it is simply fun! Even though everyone in the room works on the same model, each person adds unique touches to their paintings. 

My granddaughter was going through some difficult situations at the time. More than the typical teen angst, she had real trauma and difficulties to work through. A weekend away with Grammy, staying in a hotel, and stepping away from the 'real world' for a couple of days was fun and refreshing. When we arrived at the painting studio, she seemed excited. The design I had chosen was all about affirmation. There were suggested words on the model we were working from, but every person in the room chose their own words to add to their finished painting.  Some of us made the hair as the model painting, and some (like me) made the hair how we wished our hair looked! My painting hangs in my little den, directly across from the chair where I am sitting now.  I look at it every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I repeat those words to myself when I feel lost, sad, or simply questioning my purpose.

I wonder if my granddaughter looks at her painting and ponders the words she added. I remember she chose  "strong, independent, enough, worthy, loved, pretty." All things she struggles to believe. 

Mary was going about her life, and an angel told her that the Holy Spirit would come upon her and she would give birth to the Son of God. I can't imagine the self-talk going on in Mary's head! In these days of Christmas, as we ponder the child Jesus and how his very existence will influence the world, I wonder how Mary went about her days? As she took care of a child's basic needs, did she sit and question why she was chosen? Did she feel unworthy, scared, or blessed? Did her friends still talk about her, thinking she had completely lost her mind in believing her child was special? 

All of us have numerous competing voices speaking to us. Mary listened to God. Even when the task seemed impossible, she followed His direction. Often I wish God would be clear with me and lay out the task He has for me as He did for Mary. There was no question for her and no hesitation to obey. It is easy to listen to the world and all the information we have at our fingertips (literally). We carry computers around in our hands! The voices of the world become so loud at times that I can't hear God. In the quiet of each morning, I look at that painting when I first sit down in my chair. I remind myself that I am enough. I am saved, blessed, loved, and valued. I am me. 

Who do you listen to?

Challenge: Take time today to sit quietly and listen. Ponder what and who you are allowing to influence you. Is your self-talk positive and encouraging, or is it destructive and negative? What would God say to you?

Mary listened:

"Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! For he took notice of a lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me. Luke 1:46-49 NLT

Prayer: Lord, help me listen for Your voice. Help me battle the doubt, fear, and negativity that creep into my thoughts. Give me the faith of Mary to listen and obey Your voice. Help me see myself as You see me - enough. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.