It has been an extremely rough few months for our family. There have been health problems, mental health worries, legal and court proceedings, work changes, retirement challenges, and so much more. Our family is not large, but we walk through things together. Those real-life mountains didn't magically crumble for us to celebrate a smooth Christmas. On the outside (or on social media), it may have looked like all is well. How many of you looked at all of the beautiful pictures posted by your friends and thought, "Their holiday is so much better than mine. They don't have any crises happening. Look at how perfect their life is." We all know what was happening when the camera wasn't on or what filters were added to pretty things up. At the beginning of Advent, I intended to write an entry each day. That simply didn't happen. Some days I was driving to various hospitals or medical visits. Others, I was trying to plan and maintain normalcy in our lives amidst the chaos. Mixed in, there were a couple of Christmas parties and events that gave moments of joy and laughter. Our home was decorated with all my favorite things, yet sometimes those items caused tears as I remembered happier times when life was simpler.
Christmas Day has always been a tough day for me. Once the weeks of preparation and expectation have ended in a fun celebration, it crashes in on me hard. This year was no different. Added to my normal melancholy was facing the troubles still ahead that didn't magically disappear on Christmas Day. I have so much to be thankful for, and I often thank God for those blessings. I also question, "Why?"
Today I started a new knitting project. It is just a small one, to last the 12 days of Christmas. It is a mystery knit-a-long, done with other knitters worldwide. The designer will release a new clue each day, and though we have basic guidelines like how much yarn, type of yarn, size of needles, etc. I don't know what the pattern or the finished product will look like. It may be something I wouldn't choose, but there is that call of the unknown. So I set aside my large contract knitting piece to do a fun project with just a bit of knitting every day as each clue is released. I can control the colors, the tension in the yarn, the type of yarn, and the brand of needles I use. I have a part in what the finished project will look like, but someone else is the designer. I could change what the directions say, but the end product will look different from what the designer planned. For this project, I will follow directions. I will interpret those instructions as best as possible, and hopefully, my finished item will look as intended.
We are God's works in progress. He has a design and plan for each of us. We have guidelines of His plan for our lives (the Bible), but often we veer off in our own direction. He still loves us and deeply desires us to follow His plan. Like with my knitting, I have clear directions, but it is still up to me to follow. I can't control how all the other knitters doing this mystery project approach their process. I can't control how others follow God's plan for their lives. I must keep my focus on the Designer of my life.
As I journey through these next 12 days leading up to Epiphany, I will share as I can. Hopefully, my musings will cause you to think a bit about your own journey. There is no promise our journey will be smooth, but we have a God who walks with us no matter what.
We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives. Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:1-3 NLT
Challenge: What are your plans to finish out this year? Take some time today to evaluate how you have followed God's plan for your life. Where might you make adjustments to follow His plan more closely than your own?
Prayer: Thank you, God, for sending Jesus to be born. Your plan seems hard to follow at times, but I trust it. Help me through each day as I seek to follow Your plan. Let me see my life as You see it, and do my best to live into Your design. May others see You in me in all I do. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
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