I like silence, though it is hard to find sometimes. As I sit here in the early morning, I can hear the fan on my small electric heater, I can hear the coffee brewing, and I can slightly hear the wind in the tall pine trees outside of my den window. There is a faint clicking of the keys as I type. All small things, but the small noises become loud when focusing on silence.
About 15 or so years ago, when I was on a church staff, a coworker and friend came up with the idea of a silent retreat. A small group of congregants joined us, and we drove to a nearby member's ranch to spend the day in silence. It was a beautiful day, and we chatted on the drive. When we arrived, my pastor friend gave us guidelines; we were to scatter throughout the acreage and have a day of silence using journal prompts. We took some water with us and then ventured out to find our individual spots. At first, I was very excited. I love being outdoors and quiet. Before long, I was wondering, "How in the world will this day pass, hours in silence?"
I still have the journal that I kept that day. The silence became a day without talking; it was anything but silent! Cows were moving nearby, bird songs were loud and pleasant, and even walking through the pasture, the crunch of rocks or swishing through grass, all was noticed in the quiet. I would settle in one spot for an hour, then move to a new location. I found as the day went on that I wasn't so restless. I would stay in one spot longer, sometimes lie down and gaze at the sky, and sometimes just walk a bit. I wrote pages and pages in that journal, and it is interesting to see how my thoughts flowed as the day went on. Some pages hold only short sentence fragments or word doodles. Others have deep thoughts and prayers to God.
After several hours we gathered back at the ranch house, shared communion, and headed back to the church. Our conversation on the drive back was different, more pensive. Some didn't talk at all. We shared a bit of the experience, discovering it was different for each of us.
It is even harder now to find silence. Just turning on our phone is 'noise.' Our minds are bombarded with news, ads, jokes, and memes. The constant scrolling. I even have family members that get a little testy "Why didn't you answer your phone!?" You are reading this on some sort of device, and I am typing on a computer - noise so early in the morning.
Today's challenge may be difficult for some of you. Or perhaps you have too much silence. You are isolated, and spending hours on your phone or computer are welcome in your quiet days. It's how you connect. It can be hard to find the balance between silence with God and simply being silent. I often hear suggestions in church sermons to listen for God's voice, to discern how He is leading. It is hard to do that when I fill my days with noise. The television goes on to listen while I knit, and I put my headphones in to listen to music while I walk. It is usually praise music, but it's still noise. I even put a Bible story podcast on to try to sleep, to quiet my mind. For one who loves quiet so much, why do I struggle to find the calm silence that I deeply desire? When I am intentional about being silent, pushing through the challenging first moments, I usually find myself listening for that voice from God that my soul is seeking.
These weeks leading up to Christmas are filled with noise. Music that we only hear for a few weeks of the year, church services, parties, special events, and gatherings with friends and family. During the very time of year when I want to draw closest to God, I can be the most distracted. Writing these thoughts down each day is a way for me to be quiet. I have to be intentional about listening. I stated on the first day that I write them to direct my thoughts to Jesus. My calendar is less full than when I was working, yet I still see the little squares filling up with things to do and places to go.
I look forward to this season all year. My top priority is keeping Jesus at the forefront, even amidst the noise.
Challenge: Choose a time to be silent. Make it a priority to set yourself apart during this busy season to listen. Maybe you can only fit in a few minutes to walk outside and be still. Be intentional about turning things off and listening. Direct your thoughts to gratitude and notice God's creation around you. Ponder the silence. Use a journal to write thoughts that come to mind, even if you aren't much of a writer. As you let your thoughts flow to the paper, you may be surprised at what you find!
"Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world". Psalm 46:10 NLT
*Psalm 46 is a good one to meditate on, a favorite of mine.
Prayer: Father God, teach me to be silent. Quiet the noise in my life so I can hear Your voice. Give me the desire to sit quietly with only You. Speak through the pages of your Word, and help me apply those truths as I draw closer to You. Blot out the noise and fill the silence with Your presence. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
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