12 Days of Christmas - Ponder WORDS

Today is the last day of PONDER as my 'word of focus for the year'.  Though I will continue to ponder things through these days of Christmas, I have a new word of focus starting tomorrow. I have loved words for as long as I can remember. I enjoyed playing Scrabble as a child. I fondly remember sitting with friends in church and playing Hangman on the church bulletin. Crossword puzzles, Words with Friends, WordStacks, Wordscapes, and now a daily favorite - Wordle.

Words can annoy me too. Repeated words in speaking (uh, you know). I tend to start counting how often someone will say that word and miss what they are talking about. My husband will use an absolute send-me-over-the-edge word to get a reaction out of me: irregardless.  Just typing that non-word causes my computer to try to correct it. An especially painful memory regarding words is from the fifth grade. I participated in a spelling bee and made it to the finals. The word I was assigned was unnecessary. I spelled it with one s. I don't think I have ever misspelled that word again! 

I'm sure you have all heard the story of the mother teaching her daughter about words as the girl was about to enter middle school. The mother used an example of toothpaste all squeezed out of the tube. The quote from the toothpaste lesson is this: "You are going to have the opportunity to use your words to hurt, demean, slander, and wound others. You will also have the opportunity to use your words to heal, encourage, inspire and love others. You will occasionally make the wrong choice; I can think of three times this week I have used my own words carelessly and caused harm. Just like with this toothpaste, once the words leave your mouth, you can't take them back." 

Getting that paste back in the tube once it is expelled is nearly impossible. So it is with negative words spoken in haste. By simply pausing briefly before speaking, so much damage can be avoided. I have spoken too quickly many times, wishing I could take words back or change them.  The pain and hurt are so difficult to undo when I allow my emotions to take over and follow the impulse to lash out with words. I also hold onto harsh words spoken to me, ruminating on them and letting them fester. Words hold such power. Often when others are using harsh or damaging words against me, the first reaction is to respond in kind. Again, pausing before speaking can make all the difference.

I have spent this week pondering words. Words play a prominent part in my life as I work through my Master's coursework. So much reading and writing! I wanted to choose a word of focus that would stretch, encourage, and cause me to think. Different apps and programs are floating around to help one choose a word of the year. I have used those in the past, but they are easily manipulated. Usually, the end result is to try and get us to buy a product, whether a devotional book, a piece of jewelry, or a knickknack with the word displayed. My process involves a pen, paper, Bible, favorite dictionary, and quiet time. I sit and let words flow into my brain. I start writing down my thoughts as they come, often in scribbling or doodling. When I have a word that seems to keep surfacing, I write it down and then do a dictionary search. I will go deep into definitions and see how they intertwine. I then start searching Scripture for verses that support the words I'm considering. Some years there will be one verse that is a focus along with my word.  Some years, many verses go along with the word. I note them, and as the year progresses, I am amazed at how my word of focus weaves its way into my life in numerous ways. I had rarely thought of the word ponder until I chose it this year. Now I hear it and come across it in the most unexpected ways. Words have a way of settling deep within us.

Mary pondered things in her heart. Words were spoken over her. I'm sure she held on to these words "You will conceive and give birth to a son; you will name him Jesus." Words that would change her life and ours.  How she must have agonized over these words as Jesus died "Dear woman, here is your son," And he said to his disciple, "Here is your mother"...... words.

Challenge: As we finish out 2022, ponder your words. Do you use them to build up, encourage and appreciate others? Be very aware of your words in all that you do. Make an effort today to share a word of hope with someone you meet. Written words are especially meaningful. To hold a note in my hand and know that someone took the time to write to me is a great treasure. Write some words today!

Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:29-32 NLT.

My word for 2023 is RENEW. We will ponder that tomorrow 💖

12 Days of Christmas - Ponder WHO DO YOU LISTEN TO?

I talk to myself. How often have you heard people say, "Talking to yourself is okay; if you start answering, that might be a problem!" Lately, I find myself listening too much to negative talk in my head. There is so much to be grateful for, yet my words to myself turn to negativity and doubt. I took my teen granddaughter for a "Grammy time" weekend a few months ago, just the two of us. I like to come up with surprise activities, but as the granddaughters get older, finding things to do together that they will enjoy is harder. I love to go to the painting studios where you are guided in a group to all work on the same painting. It isn't fine artwork; it is simply fun! Even though everyone in the room works on the same model, each person adds unique touches to their paintings. 

My granddaughter was going through some difficult situations at the time. More than the typical teen angst, she had real trauma and difficulties to work through. A weekend away with Grammy, staying in a hotel, and stepping away from the 'real world' for a couple of days was fun and refreshing. When we arrived at the painting studio, she seemed excited. The design I had chosen was all about affirmation. There were suggested words on the model we were working from, but every person in the room chose their own words to add to their finished painting.  Some of us made the hair as the model painting, and some (like me) made the hair how we wished our hair looked! My painting hangs in my little den, directly across from the chair where I am sitting now.  I look at it every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I repeat those words to myself when I feel lost, sad, or simply questioning my purpose.

I wonder if my granddaughter looks at her painting and ponders the words she added. I remember she chose  "strong, independent, enough, worthy, loved, pretty." All things she struggles to believe. 

Mary was going about her life, and an angel told her that the Holy Spirit would come upon her and she would give birth to the Son of God. I can't imagine the self-talk going on in Mary's head! In these days of Christmas, as we ponder the child Jesus and how his very existence will influence the world, I wonder how Mary went about her days? As she took care of a child's basic needs, did she sit and question why she was chosen? Did she feel unworthy, scared, or blessed? Did her friends still talk about her, thinking she had completely lost her mind in believing her child was special? 

All of us have numerous competing voices speaking to us. Mary listened to God. Even when the task seemed impossible, she followed His direction. Often I wish God would be clear with me and lay out the task He has for me as He did for Mary. There was no question for her and no hesitation to obey. It is easy to listen to the world and all the information we have at our fingertips (literally). We carry computers around in our hands! The voices of the world become so loud at times that I can't hear God. In the quiet of each morning, I look at that painting when I first sit down in my chair. I remind myself that I am enough. I am saved, blessed, loved, and valued. I am me. 

Who do you listen to?

Challenge: Take time today to sit quietly and listen. Ponder what and who you are allowing to influence you. Is your self-talk positive and encouraging, or is it destructive and negative? What would God say to you?

Mary listened:

"Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! For he took notice of a lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me. Luke 1:46-49 NLT

Prayer: Lord, help me listen for Your voice. Help me battle the doubt, fear, and negativity that creep into my thoughts. Give me the faith of Mary to listen and obey Your voice. Help me see myself as You see me - enough. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

12 Days of Christmas - Ponder DISRUPTIONS

The morning of Christmas Eve, I was standing in my kitchen, preparing things for holiday meals. Suddenly, I heard a rushing 'woosh,' and water was pouring out of the wall and over the floor within seconds. I had never heard a pipe burst before, and I am so thankful we were home! I quickly turned the water off at the curb and called our son-in-law. They were coming to our home later that day, and since he is a journeyman plumber, we were fortunate to have water back on and the pipe capped without too much disruption to our day. Granted, I now have holes in the wall and further pipework that will need to be done, but that is a discussion for a later day!

Since the Christmas festivities ended, the last few days have been a series of disruptions. The unusually cold weather (for Texas) is beginning to normalize. Like us, many people had to deal with water or electricity issues amid the 'most wonderful time of the year.' Our family also had two more hospital visits yesterday (everyone is okay, just some worrisome and ongoing health issues). Driving home last night, I noticed the disrupted lanes on the highway leading to our home. There is a large, ongoing road construction project that causes huge disruptions in traffic flow. We were recently told this construction may (and probably will) last until December of 2023. 

How do you handle disruptions? I had my week all neatly planned out in my calendar. A time each day to study and write. Gradually putting various decorations away and cleaning our home just a bit at a time, so all of the glitz and lights aren't gone all at once. The normal things like laundry and grocery shopping. With one quick phone call, disruptions completely changed my routine. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I traditionally spend the week between Christmas and New Year's Day praying and deciding my word of focus for the new year.  With all of these recent disruptions, I still need to start on that process. I looked back on my notes from choosing the word ponder for 2022, and it certainly has been a year of pondering!  Ponder: to weigh in the mind; to consider and compare the circumstances or consequences of an event, or the importance of the reasons for or against a decision. To review with deliberation; to examine.  The Scripture verse I chose to go along with is this: How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in Him should ponder them. Psalm 111:2.

I don't know that all of the events of 2022 have been pondered thoroughly. I still examine them and wonder what God's plan is in all these events of the year. I faithfully believe that God has a plan. I just wish I knew what it was!

There have been no disruptions so far on this day. I remember a favorite phrase from special retreat events: "don't anticipate." I am reminding myself to not worry or fret about what MIGHT happen. Disruptions will continue. Even though most times disruptions are out of our control, our response to them is completely in our control.

Mary and Joseph had many disruptions. Here is a big one! After the wise men were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up! Flee to Egypt with the child and his mother," the angel said. "Stay there until I tell you to return, because Herod is going to search for the child to kill him".  Now that is a disruption! That is usually how they come, at a moment's notice, when action must be taken, just like the broken pipe. Most disruptions require immediate action. But I get ahead of myself. These days of Christmas are about preparing for the wise men to visit. We should be continuing to bask in the glory of Christ's birth. If Mary and Joseph had known those men would visit to bring gifts, do you think they would be expecting that troubling dream telling them to flee? As I put away all of my treasured Christmas fineries, I want to enjoy them as much as I do unpacking them each year. To remember how I felt when my child made an ornament, to think back on putting out some of these decorations with my Mom or Dad, I want to hold on just a little longer to the joy of the season and not be dragged down by the disruptions. They will continue to come.......

Challenge: How do you handle disruptions? Consider one disruption you had during this holiday season. How did you respond? Could you have handled it differently? How did God come into your response? Keep walking with God. He will guide you through the disruptions. (If I didn't believe that, I would have given up long ago.)

The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way? Proverbs 20:24 NLT.  Place your name in that verse: "Connie, the Lord directs your steps. why are you trying to understand everything along the way?"  I don't understand the disruptions that have been plaguing my life. I'm sure you are the same. I simply keep trusting the God I love.

Prayer: Father God, guide me through the disruptions. Show me a bit of Yourself in each situation. May others see You in my responses and lean toward You as well. Help me continue to walk in Your strength no matter what comes next.  I trust You! In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen.

12 days of Christmas - Ponder PLANS

We made it through Advent, and the twelve days of Christmas now begin, leading up to Epiphany. Much is written about the magi's visit, often lumped together with Christ's birth and included in our beloved nativity scenes. I'm not going to delve into any of that too deeply; I simply want you to think a bit as we end this year and move forward.

It has been an extremely rough few months for our family. There have been health problems, mental health worries, legal and court proceedings, work changes, retirement challenges, and so much more. Our family is not large, but we walk through things together. Those real-life mountains didn't magically crumble for us to celebrate a smooth Christmas. On the outside (or on social media), it may have looked like all is well. How many of you looked at all of the beautiful pictures posted by your friends and thought, "Their holiday is so much better than mine. They don't have any crises happening. Look at how perfect their life is." We all know what was happening when the camera wasn't on or what filters were added to pretty things up. At the beginning of Advent, I intended to write an entry each day. That simply didn't happen. Some days I was driving to various hospitals or medical visits. Others, I was trying to plan and maintain normalcy in our lives amidst the chaos. Mixed in, there were a couple of Christmas parties and events that gave moments of joy and laughter. Our home was decorated with all my favorite things, yet sometimes those items caused tears as I remembered happier times when life was simpler.

Christmas Day has always been a tough day for me. Once the weeks of preparation and expectation have ended in a fun celebration, it crashes in on me hard. This year was no different. Added to my normal melancholy was facing the troubles still ahead that didn't magically disappear on Christmas Day. I have so much to be thankful for, and I often thank God for those blessings. I also question, "Why?" 

Today I started a new knitting project.  It is just a small one, to last the 12 days of Christmas. It is a mystery knit-a-long, done with other knitters worldwide.  The designer will release a new clue each day, and though we have basic guidelines like how much yarn, type of yarn, size of needles, etc. I don't know what the pattern or the finished product will look like. It may be something I wouldn't choose, but there is that call of the unknown. So I set aside my large contract knitting piece to do a fun project with just a bit of knitting every day as each clue is released. I can control the colors, the tension in the yarn, the type of yarn, and the brand of needles I use.  I have a part in what the finished project will look like, but someone else is the designer. I could change what the directions say, but the end product will look different from what the designer planned. For this project, I will follow directions. I will interpret those instructions as best as possible, and hopefully, my finished item will look as intended.

We are God's works in progress. He has a design and plan for each of us. We have guidelines of His plan for our lives (the Bible), but often we veer off in our own direction. He still loves us and deeply desires us to follow His plan. Like with my knitting, I have clear directions, but it is still up to me to follow. I can't control how all the other knitters doing this mystery project approach their process.  I can't control how others follow God's plan for their lives. I must keep my focus on the Designer of my life.  

As I journey through these next 12 days leading up to Epiphany, I will share as I can. Hopefully, my musings will cause you to think a bit about your own journey. There is no promise our journey will be smooth, but we have a God who walks with us no matter what.

We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives. Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:1-3 NLT

Challenge: What are your plans to finish out this year? Take some time today to evaluate how you have followed God's plan for your life. Where might you make adjustments to follow His plan more closely than your own? 

Prayer: Thank you, God, for sending Jesus to be born. Your plan seems hard to follow at times, but I trust it.  Help me through each day as I seek to follow Your plan. Let me see my life as You see it, and do my best to live into Your design. May others see You in me in all I do. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

Advent 2022 - Ponder VALUE

A  big one to ponder today - value. As a noun- Worth; Price; Importance. The value of a thing is worth what it will bring in market. As a verb -  To rate at a high price; to esteem; to consider with respect for importance.

I have been filling out a survey today about an amusement park I visited with my daughter and granddaughters.  It was a wonderful holiday evening, stepping into a  make-believe world for a few hours of Christmas joy. There were several questions about the value of our experience. At first, as I pondered how to rate the experience, I wanted to rate it very low. I purchased our tickets way early in the year at a reduced rate, so I got a good value.  To enhance the experience, many additional 'add-ons' increased the value of our pleasant experience but caused the value of the monetary side to go down. Like many things we participate in, from ball games, concerts, movies, and amusement parks, we think we are getting a good deal by buying early, using coupons, and taking advantage of special offers. Ultimately, we still have to decide if it is worth spending exorbitant amounts on food, special passes so we don't have to wait in line, or even extra dollars to park close and not walk as far. What do we value more? The wonderful experience of spending time with our loved ones and laughing together, making memories, or the money we have to spend to do it?  In retirement, I have come to the place of extreme planning. I search for deals and try to make the dollars spread as far as possible. I watched many families last night braving the cold and rain to spend some time in a Christmas wonderland.  I also watched as children were told "we can't get hot cocoa right now; it's a little too expensive."  Or "we can't go into the petting zoo; it costs extra." (I rated our visit fairly high and expressed my monetary concerns in the comments.  I would love for more families to enjoy that experience more affordably.)

This isn't a critique of the place we visited, it truly is a wonderful place, and I will go back again. This is more about where we place value. It often is looked at only as monetary. Like many of you, our family has struggled this year. All of us have to decide where to spend time and money. Thankfully, with careful planning and sacrificing some small things, I can enjoy these special things with my granddaughters.  As we are fond of saying in our family, "we will never have this moment again." 

What do you value the most? All of our Christmas trees may have fewer gifts this year. Our vacations may be more 'staycations' and smaller events. We may be missing a loved one around our table, so the memories become even more precious.  We are just a few days away from the thing children look forward to most, discovering what surprises are wrapped up in all those boxes and bags. There may be some long-awaited treasure that gets unwrapped.  Or there may be hurt feelings because the biggest desire isn't met in a gift. The thing I value most is something far bigger. I desire the ones I love and those I meet to know, without a doubt, that the thing of the greatest value can't be wrapped up in a box or bag. There may be a time when the amusement park can't be visited, or the special gift can't be bought, yet the God who gave me the greatest gift will always be there for me.

"Don't store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." Matthew 6:19-21 NLT

"For this is how God loved the world; He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:16-17

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6 NLT

Enjoy these last few days before Christmas as well as you can, but don't stop pondering.

Challenge: What do you value? What value do you place on God in the lives of the ones you love? As you wrap, give, go, and enjoy, are the things you are spending time and money on earthly treasures or heavenly ones? Find a way today to have a quiet talk with God about your priorities in values. 

Prayer: Father God, help me to see the value my life has in You. As I enjoy the abundance of this season, help me to look beyond it all and nurture the ultimate gift in my heart. Help me to share Jesus with those I love and help them see that my treasure isn't in things but in You. Move mightily in those I love; draw them closer to You so they will know the greatest treasure. In Jesus' name, I pray Amen.

Enjoy all of the pleasures of the season in whatever way you can. 

Advent 2022 - Ponder HARK

Like me, I'm sure you have sung the words "Hark, the herald angels sing!" many times through the years. The very short definition of hark is to listen. My  Webster's 1828 dictionary even states This word is rarely or never used, except in the imperative mode, hark, that is, listen, hear. This is one of the beloved Christmas carols that I can sing without opening a hymnal. Like many old songs I grew up with, I often don't think about the words. These last few days, as I have listened to Christmas music, I have been pondering hark. 

When I get extremely familiar with routines, people, and songs, the interaction becomes such a habit that I don't really listen. I have been listening to the local Christian radio station in my car lately, and every day at noon, they have someone lead listeners in the Lord's Prayer. I also grew up with that prayer and love it. The station has a pastor, business leader, or a first responder lead the prayer daily. As I was listening along (eyes open, of course, since I was driving!) I absorbed those words that I have recited so often. That is one of the few things I recite in the King James version because that is how I learned it. I wonder how many of us simply recite that prayer without listening or hearing it?

Here it is from the New Living Translation: 

Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don't let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. Matthew 6:9-13 NLT

Hark! The herald angels sing! Listen up; something exciting is happening, don't let it pass you by. We are about a week out from celebrating the birth of Jesus. School is out, travel will begin, last minute preparations will take place. Are you listening? As I hear and sing these familiar songs this year, I'm preparing my heart to listen. I want to immerse myself in the meaning of these lyrics. So much of what we do in our day is routine. So much of what we do during this season is routine, like singing Silent Night and holding a candle as we finish the Christmas Eve service. It's comfortable, familiar, and like a warm hug. 

This year - hark. Listen to what you sing and let the words wash over your soul. Hark! The herald angels sing, "Glory to the newborn king." I read up a bit on this song. Like many, it has an interesting history. Written by Charles Wesley in 1739 and altered by George Whitfield in 1753, it was originally sung to a rather drear tune and later altered to use Mendelssohn 51171, how we know it today. The song reminds us that Jesus was born to give us second birth. As you travel through this last week before Christmas, focus not only on the baby in the manger but, more importantly, on the savior.  

Mild he lays his glory by, born that we no more may die, born to raise us from the earth, born to give us second birth. HARK!

Challenge: This week, listen to the sounds and routines of the season all around you. Listen with new ears to old familiar lyrics. Let them refresh you and remind you of the God who made all of this happen just for you.

Prayer: Father God, help me to listen for Your voice. As I sing familiar words burn them into my heart just as the authors from long ago felt when they wrote them. Help me to hear You in the smallest of things, then move in my heart in a big way. Come, Lord Jesus...... Amen.

Advent 2022 - Ponder TREES

Trees are mentioned in the Bible more than any living thing other than God and people. And every major character has a tree associated with it. Jesus died on a tree because it was prophesied in the Old Testament. Trees, like Jesus, give rather than take. Christianity.com, Trees in the Bible.

I pondered why I am so drawn to trees.  I'm sitting in my den, the window is open, and I can hear light rain dripping from the tall trees outside. There is a carpet of leaves on the ground, being watered by that rain. They are yellow and dead separate from the branches where they drew life all through the summer. Now they will decompose, adding nutrients and life back into the ground to be fed upon by the trees once again.

If you search online about trees in the Bible, I think you will be surprised at the number of articles, studies, and information that pop up. I just know I love trees. I love the sound of wind in the pines, the scent of blossoms in the spring, and the shade they provide during our hot Texas weather. I love the crackle of logs in a fireplace as the tree provides heat.

Now here we are in the middle of the Christmas season, and we bring trees into our homes. We decorate, admire, and enjoy them. I have an ornament on my tree that no one ever notices. I have had it for about 20 years, and it always hangs near the trunk. When I put that ornament on the tree, I remember. I remember the trunk of a tree that Jesus died on. The large nails that were driven through his hands and feet. Trees.

Trees provide so much for us! Paper, furniture, food, fuel, and pure pleasure simply by sitting under one on a hot day. I grew up in logging country, in the mountains of California. Those forests provided so much for our community. From the men who worked harvesting, trucking, and processing at the mill and all the support that went with it. The trees even provided for our family. My father owned a tire business. The majority of his business came from the loggers. Many of the young people in that community had their first jobs at the mill, and some remained there for many years. Twelve years ago, my sister and I traveled to our hometown to bury our mom. We spent a day driving up the highway, reminiscing about childhood and that lovely drive from Jackson, CA, toward Lake Tahoe. Nothing was the same. When I grew up, those forests were lush and beautiful because they were properly cared for. Now the mills are mostly closed. The livelihood that the forest provided has dwindled. The very act of trying to save the trees has in many ways been their demise. Trees can be a hot topic and critics on both sides of the issue of how trees should be maintained spark arguments and discussions. I commented recently on our local homeowner's website about the trees being cut down near our home to allow more homes to be built. There were angry comments almost immediately. Both sides - why the trees need to be cut and why they don't. I deleted my comment and went on my way. Trees can cause a lot of discussions!

So what does this jumble of thoughts have to do with Advent? We wait for Jesus. We will commemorate his birth, and we wait for his second coming. From the beginning of Genesis and the tree of life to Revelation and the words we read there:

And if anyone removes any of the words from this book of prophecy, God will remove that person's share in the tree of life and in the holy city that are described in this book. He who is the faithful witness to all these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon!" Amen! Come Lord Jesus! May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's holy people. Revelation 22:19-21. NLT

I'm so thankful that trees renew themselves. Trees remind me that God is in the restoration and renewal business. When small seeds drop to the ground and seem dead, a new tree can spring up. Trees remind me to keep planting seeds. To keep looking to God for the renewal that only He can bring. May the small seeds of faith and trust in God that I plant grow into a mighty tree of devotion to Him. 

Challenge: Notice trees today. Ponder how a tree can be an example for you of provision by God. Take some quiet moments to study a bit about trees in the Bible. Stand under a tree and simply take it in, remembering what Jesus did for you on a dead tree, so that you can live!

Prayer: Lord, help me to notice all of your creation. Renew me like you do the trees. Help the seeds planted in me to grow and flourish, then help me sow those seeds into others so that they can grow strong in You. Help me to be useful in Your kingdom, and keep me ever watchful as I wait.......... In Jesus' name. Amen.

Advent 2022 - Ponder MEMORIES

Memory is a funny thing. Some of us have great memories, while others struggle with memory. I watched my mother in her last years, battling dementia, and struggling with short-term memory yet she could recall long-ago memories of childhood and early adulthood. Memories often evoke strong emotions, especially during the holidays.

Over the weekend, I spent some time with our ten-year-old granddaughter. We enjoyed some fun activities together and spent some time riding in the car, which is perfect for conversation. She voiced a few concerns about how her Grandpa doesn't seem to do much anymore; she remembered living in Fredericksburg and the fort and tree house he built. She remembered golf cart rides and other adventures around our property. When I told her I had few memories with my grandparents, she was quiet. One of my grandfathers had died before I was born, and the other three grands died the year I was ten. Her age. She pondered for a moment, then asked, "How do you know so  much about them?"

My paternal grandmother lived about an hour's drive from us. That was quite the drive, unlike today where driving an hour is no big deal. The other two lived halfway across the country. They would travel by train to visit us once a year. I learned the most about my grandparents by listening to my parent's stories and memories. One story that I asked my Dad to tell me often was about their Christmas traditions.  My Dad was the parent that I loved to celebrate with! I was his helper in putting up lights; in his OCD fashion, we would go out every night after work so that he could check to make sure none of the bulbs had burned out and that all was still in order. I still love putting up and looking at Christmas lights; it is a way of remembering my Dad. Christmas for him was quite different as a young boy. He was the first generation born in the states and lived in a small German community in Nebraska. There were no early decorations then. He recalled going to church on Christmas Eve, and when they returned, the tree would have been brought into their home, and they would light the candles on the tree after church. Christmas Eve was always a fond memory and family time for my Dad. A time for family and remembering.

I have so many memories of my parents. Mom lived to age 87, and Dad died at age 58 before I married or had children. I was only 22. My memories of my parents live on. Our daughter also didn't have much time with her grandparents, so I do my best to tell the stories. I know I repeat them often, and sometimes I think no one is listening. I was listening when my parents told stories. I would get bored with them and complain, "Can I go to my room now!?" I'm so thankful now that I heard those stories so many times.

Much of what we do at Christmas time is about memories. We remember, plan things to make memories, and carry on traditions with our families. I also know that not everyone has fond memories, so remembering can be hard. I choose to pass along some of the hard things too. I recall the last Christmas I saw my Dad. I had just finished basic training for the Air Force and was on a break before heading to technical school. When I got home, though I knew he was battling cancer, I was shocked at the shell of himself that he had become. I have just a few pictures of him that Christmas; he was so frail and thin. Not the strong man I remembered. We had a fun Christmas, and too soon, I was gone back to Illinois. Little did I know that I would never see him alive again when I left. I don't think about that last Christmas with him much. I choose to remember the previous 21 Christmases and all of the things that made them special with my Dad. I don't recall the hard ones, and there were some of those when things weren't perfect.

Sharing memories is important. After Moses had his encounter with God and received the Ten Commandments, he shared this word with the people:

.....And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to the commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up...... Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NLT

Another verse I cling to, and claim. 

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6 NLT

Sometimes we think that the memories we pass along are falling on deaf ears. The Truth we are sharing is not received. Share it anyway. Children may not be interested in hearing about the 'old days'. Tell them anyway. I didn't always want to hear my parent's Depression-era stories or about life on the farm in Iowa and Nebraska, but now I am so thankful that they always told me. It is sometimes hard to keep telling Jesus' story, when it seems like no one is listening, tell it anyway.

Challenge: Tell stories this Advent season. If you don't have children or grandchildren, share them with someone. Make sure your story and memories don't die with you. Challenge part two - listen. Find a friend or neighbor who may be alone and ask their story. Carry on their story for them. Everyone has memories. Let's all keep sharing them, so they aren't lost forever. 

Advent 2022 - Ponder CONTRAST

Contrast: The state of being strikingly different from something else in juxtaposition or close association.

This season demonstrates great contrast. Last weekend I was on a 4-day mini trip away with my sister. We were immersed in Hallmark-movie-worthy Christmas activities, decor, atmosphere, and mood. Contrast that with now. Just in my family and extended family alone, we have health conditions (including ER visits), ongoing auto-immune flareups, busy schedules, mental health battles, struggles with aging, court battles, tweens, and teens that are more interested in phones and their rooms than fun Christmas activities, bills larger than income, job struggles, devastating diagnoses and Just because the calendar reads December, doesn't mean that all of the struggles stop. Joyful music, happy decorations, parties, and special events can be depressing. I have friends who lost loved ones this year, so they face a new normal this season. Regardless of our blessings, struggles and difficulties often take center stage.

I have heard friends say, "Oh, I don't decorate anymore. No small children and no one coming to visit, so putting up all of the decorations and the trouble aren't worth it". I will always decorate. I do it for me. Even when the memories of past holidays are sad from longing, or those around me aren't interested in the silly things I enjoy, I do it anyway. I listen to the songs, I cry a bit sometimes, yet I play them anyway. Deep inside, it is all a connection with how things were and how I hope things will be again. Christmas does that for me. It takes the contrast and brings it all together. The messy, sad, happy, joyful, and nostalgic moments are all part of advent for me. 

So how do I handle the contrast between "Have yourself a merry little Christmas" and "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen"? Like this:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8 NLT

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33 NLT

As I sit and look at my beautifully decorated tree and fondly remember Christmases past, I also know that in those Christmases past, there were struggles too. The fond memories are what last. So I will continue to celebrate, look at the contrasts and focus on Jesus, who doesn't change. I will pray with my trusted friends, those to whom I can show my sorrow. And I will always have hope.

Challenge: Look at the contrasts in your life and ponder how you handle them. How do you handle the challenges and joys of the season? Take a few moments today to ponder contrasts.

Prayer: Father God, help me to keep my eyes on You as the season progresses. Help me look beyond the happy and the sad and rely on the steadiness of my faith in Jesus. Help me remember that Jesus is the same, and he will be my strength. In his name, I pray. Amen.

Advent 2022 - Ponder BEHOOVE

When I was growing up, I hated this word - behoove. Whenever my mother would say it to me, I assumed I would be in trouble or some punishment was coming. I never really knew what behoove meant; I simply knew I better do what she said!

So I decided to dig in and see if this word is actually what I think it is.

Webster's 1828 Dictionary describes it like this: To be necessary for; to be fit for; with respect to necessity, duty or convenience.  Also this: And thus it behooved Christ to suffer.

Back to Mom - "It would behoove you to clean your room now!" "It would behoove you to put your laundry away." I always just thought I would be punished if I didn't, so it was beneficial to obey.

So it behooved Christ to suffer? It was necessary, duty? Actually yes. He was born to die, for us.

Luke 24:25 NLT Then Jesus said to them, "You foolish people! You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the Scriptures. Wasn't it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory!" 

It was necessary. Jesus being born, living sinless, and being crucified was not a punishment. It was his purpose. As we journey through Advent, focusing on the wonder of Jesus' birth is easy. I want to spend equal time on his coming again. Pondering the necessity of his existence to redeem us can be overwhelming. It behooves me to explore it more!

So was my mother saying I would be punished? Maybe not. Perhaps she was simply saying I needed to do what was expected of me as part of the family. It was my duty to be responsible for certain things. It didn't mean it was a punishment; it was things that were my responsibility to do. Jesus had a duty and purpose. I'm sure he didn't want to go to the Cross, any more than I wanted to clean my room, but it was necessary.

Challenge: Ponder what your duty is. Think deeply about it; what are you fit for? What is your purpose for this Advent? Does Jesus get lost in your holiday preparation? Do we lose sight of him as we sing, decorate, shop, and gather for parties? Are a quick prayer and special worship service enough? Do we picture that baby in a manger more than the image of his glorious return? It would behoove us all to ponder the necessity of Advent. Jesus is coming again; I want to be ready.

Prayer: Lord, help me see what my purpose is. Lead me, by Jesus' example, to be obedient to You. Help me lay down my wants and expectations, then let me see what You have for me. Prepare my heart for it to be filled to overflowing with Jesus. In his name, I pray, Amen.

Advent 2022 - Ponder IF and BUT

 Two small words. Two small words can change everything. 

"I will attend church this week IF you go with me."

"I will only send Christmas cards this year IF I get any."

"I will pray IF God will answer!"

If, if, if. It is like setting ourselves up, so we don't have to step out and own our decisions. I will attend church because I am blessed when I do.  I will write a note or a card to let people know I am thinking of them and care for them. I will pray. God does answer, and often His answer is better than what I seek. 

A friend once told me that when you insert BUT into a sentence, it is like canceling everything before the but.  Every time I start to use the word but, I pause. I substitute another word and think for a bit before speaking, analyzing what I'm trying to say. It takes effort and thought to express feelings accurately. I only sometimes succeed.

There is so much to ponder with these two small words. 

Challenge: Take notice of how often you use the words IF and BUT. Pause briefly in your conversations. Are you putting a decision you have already made onto someone else? Are you putting conditions on your own actions? Are you using BUT to subtly convey a message that you don't want to state outright? Choose different words in place of these, then ponder how that makes you feel.

There will be many ifs and buts that come up during this Advent season. I hope this makes you think, thinking is good!

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 NLT

Prayer: Lord, help me today to think carefully about my words. Help me to not put my  "ifs" onto someone else, to look to You for my strength. Help me eliminate "but" by expressing my message clearly. Help me to use my words to encourage, uplift, and bless others. How can I change my words to better spread Your love? Lead me, Jesus, Amen.

Advent 2022 - Ponder REPLETE

Good Monday morning. After a long weekend away, I am refreshed, rested, and restored. Today I want to ponder another word - replete. Replete isn't a word that I recall ever using. When I looked up the definition in Webster's 1828 Dictionary, I found this: REPLETE: Completely filled; full. Later definitions include satiated, full, round, and fat. It is interesting how definitions and word usage have changed over the decades.

As I pondered this word today, I am definitely replete after my four days away. Too much food, more relaxation than I remember in a long time during a holiday season, and primarily just ''full" in general. Full of gratitude to have spent time with my sister. Full of hope as I saw thousands of people in a small town all celebrating Christmas. I didn't see anger, discord, or unrest. Instead, I saw a tiny community offer a magical place for people from all over the nation to come and simply enjoy the wonder of Christmas. More lights were twinkling than you can imagine. There was kindness as we waited in extremely long lines for fun foods like bacon-wrapped hotdogs! I am incredibly full of wonder at the amount of work that went into that festival and will continue each weekend until January 6 as they will do it again and again. People worked long into the night on Saturday to clean, remove barriers and restore the town to order and cleanliness. Sunday morning, you would have never known that just a few short hours before, there were throngs of people lining the streets.

Now I face the task of going back to somewhat normal eating and a daily routine. However, I don't want to lose that feeling of being so full of human kindness. Greeting people with a smile and sharing snippets of our lives with each other as we sat and waited to watch fireworks. Fun conversations while standing in long food lines and laughing as the clerks in the sweet shop came to know us too well! 

I am replete with the goodness of God. It isn't about the extravagant celebration and events of this last weekend; it is that my faith is restored in humanity itself. I saw people just like me, wanting to notice and share kindness with one another. I believe many people flocked to that little town because they wanted to experience the joy and wonder of what is missing in most of our lives. Instead of pointing out how we were different, we all turned our eyes up to watch fantastic fireworks that made us all smile. I thought of God as I watched - wondering what the next flash would be. Astonished at how beautiful and unexpected each 'explosion' was. Listening to music and lyrics of Christmas as the show went on. No one was worried about being politically correct or using the correct pronouns. As the fireworks ended and the decor lights all came back on, my eyes went to the lights across the river, "For God so loved the world" and I was reminded that, indeed, He truly does. 

Small trips like the one I just had are fun and bring restoration. As I sit in my quiet room, I am reminded that all those things I experienced over the weekend are available no matter where I am. I can be kind in any line I stand in. I can experience pleasant conversations with people I encounter in my everyday life. I can be patient as I wait for service in a store, just like I was patiently waiting for a hotdog! God is always present. He wants us to be replete, filled to overflowing, with His goodness. 

Challenge: As you go about your day, notice kindness. Practice being kind.

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - rejoice! Philippians 4:4 NLT

Prayer: Father God, help me today to be kind. Fill me so that I am replete with only You. Only You can pour out of me when I am filled to overflowing. Make me have no room for anger, bitterness, or hatred. When filled with You, there is no room for these things. Help me see kindness today. Help me look beyond the hurt and worry plaguing us all and look to You for what we need.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Advent 2022 - Ponder REFLECTION

Reflection: 1) An image seen in a mirror or shiny surface.  2) Serious thought or consideration. 3) The throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it.

Sitting down to write a devotional thought while in a hotel room presents challenges. I am not surrounded by my everyday things.  I didn't bring my huge dictionary, I didn't tote along various books and references that I usually use. I do, however, have coffee!

I'm away for a short few days to celebrate at a Christmas festival with my sister. This trip had been planned for two years ago and was postponed when she contracted Covid. We finally made it!  

I've been pondering many things since we arrived. This tiny town in Louisiana simply explodes with people on the weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The river that runs through the town is lined with spectacular light displays. The town's main street is brick paved and oh-so quaint.  I actually feel like I'm in a Hallmark movie.

We walked along the river last night, enjoying the numerous light displays. Tonight and tomorrow, the entire area will be packed with people, so strolling last night was perfect, no crowds to fight. It was a cool, clear night with no breeze. As I took in the many sights, I noticed the reflections on the water. The shimmering was beautiful, but the images were distorted. My eyes would jump from the lights to the water. As I looked over my pictures, I thought about those reflections. Though they were beautiful, they needed to give a clearer picture of the lights they were reflecting. If I hadn't read the words in the sign, I never would know what they said by looking at the reflection.

Look back at the third definition of reflection. "throwing back, without absorbing." I started questioning, "Do I throw off a reflection of Jesus? Do I just put off a distorted view without absorbing it?" The lights in the sign on the river had a clear message - God so loved the world. In the river reflection, it was just squiggly lines of light.

Everything we do can be a reflection of who we are. How we speak, act, and look. I make judgments all of the time about people by how they look. I'm sure people do the same for me. Seeing those lights reflected in the water the message was lost.  So does my message of God get lost in distortion?

Ponder this: reflect vs. shine.  Reflect means to bend back from a surface. Shine means to emit light. Another meaning of shine is  to emit brightness from a source of light. I want to shine with Jesus' light! I don't want to just reflect it and possibly have his image distorted. If the only image people see is a distorted reflection, why would they be attracted to it?

Challenge: Ponder today whether you are reflecting (deflecting lights and throwing them off in a distorted manner) or are you shining with light from Jesus? No matter our circumstances, we can shine. I will be around thousands of people this weekend, all here to celebrate the Christmas season. I will ponder how to shine through words, actions, and thoughts. It will do no good to wear a "Jesus is the reason for the season" button on my lapel if I'm not also shining with his love.

I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark. John 12:46 NLT

Prayer: Lord, help me shine today with Your light that is within me. I want to reflect your light in a more balanced manner. Help me be a true vision of who You are so that others may be drawn to the light, not confused by a mere reflection. In Jesus' name, I pray, amen.

Advent 2022 - Ponder SILENCE

I like silence, though it is hard to find sometimes.  As I sit here in the early morning, I can hear the fan on my small electric heater, I can hear the coffee brewing, and I can slightly hear the wind in the tall pine trees outside of my den window. There is a faint clicking of the keys as I type. All small things, but the small noises become loud when focusing on silence.

About 15 or so years ago, when I was on a church staff, a coworker and friend came up with the idea of a silent retreat. A small group of congregants joined us, and we drove to a nearby member's ranch to spend the day in silence. It was a beautiful day, and we chatted on the drive. When we arrived, my pastor friend gave us guidelines; we were to scatter throughout the acreage and have a day of silence using journal prompts. We took some water with us and then ventured out to find our individual spots. At first, I was very excited. I love being outdoors and quiet. Before long, I was wondering, "How in the world will this day pass, hours in silence?"

I still have the journal that I kept that day. The silence became a day without talking; it was anything but silent! Cows were moving nearby, bird songs were loud and pleasant, and even walking through the pasture, the crunch of rocks or swishing through grass, all was noticed in the quiet. I would settle in one spot for an hour, then move to a new location. I found as the day went on that I wasn't so restless. I would stay in one spot longer, sometimes lie down and gaze at the sky, and sometimes just walk a bit. I wrote pages and pages in that journal, and it is interesting to see how my thoughts flowed as the day went on. Some pages hold only short sentence fragments or word doodles. Others have deep thoughts and prayers to God.

After several hours we gathered back at the ranch house, shared communion, and headed back to the church.  Our conversation on the drive back was different, more pensive. Some didn't talk at all. We shared a bit of the experience, discovering it was different for each of us.

It is even harder now to find silence. Just turning on our phone is 'noise.' Our minds are bombarded with news, ads, jokes, and memes. The constant scrolling. I even have family members that get a little testy "Why didn't you answer your phone!?"  You are reading this on some sort of device, and I am typing on a computer - noise so early in the morning.

Today's challenge may be difficult for some of you. Or perhaps you have too much silence. You are isolated, and spending hours on your phone or computer are welcome in your quiet days. It's how you connect. It can be hard to find the balance between silence with God and simply being silent. I often hear suggestions in church sermons to listen for God's voice, to discern how He is leading. It is hard to do that when I fill my days with noise. The television goes on to listen while I knit, and I put my headphones in to listen to music while I walk.  It is usually praise music, but it's still noise. I even put a Bible story podcast on to try to sleep, to quiet my mind. For one who loves quiet so much, why do I struggle to find the calm silence that I deeply desire? When I am intentional about being silent, pushing through the challenging first moments, I usually find myself listening for that voice from God that my soul is seeking.

These weeks leading up to Christmas are filled with noise. Music that we only hear for a few weeks of the year, church services, parties, special events, and gatherings with friends and family. During the very time of year when I want to draw closest to God, I can be the most distracted. Writing these thoughts down each day is a way for me to be quiet. I have to be intentional about listening. I stated on the first day that I write them to direct my thoughts to Jesus. My calendar is less full than when I was working, yet I still see the little squares filling up with things to do and places to go.

I look forward to this season all year. My top priority is keeping Jesus at the forefront, even amidst the noise.

Challenge: Choose a time to be silent. Make it a priority to set yourself apart during this busy season to listen. Maybe you can only fit in a few minutes to walk outside and be still. Be intentional about turning things off and listening. Direct your thoughts to gratitude and notice God's creation around you. Ponder the silence. Use a journal to write thoughts that come to mind, even if you aren't much of a writer. As you let your thoughts flow to the paper, you may be surprised at what you find!

"Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world". Psalm 46:10 NLT

*Psalm 46 is a good one to meditate on, a favorite of mine.

Prayer: Father God, teach me to be silent. Quiet the noise in my life so I can hear Your voice. Give me the desire to sit quietly with only You. Speak through the pages of your Word, and help me apply those truths as I draw closer to You. Blot out the noise and fill the silence with Your presence. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

. 

Advent 2022 - Ponder PUZZLE

My sister and I love doing puzzles. We have 'puzzle rules' or etiquette when we work puzzles together. We sat down with a friend once to work on a puzzle, and she reached across the table to grab a piece, and you could almost hear the gasps as my sister, and I looked across the table at one another - that's not proper puzzle etiquette! I chuckle when I remember that event. We also visited a family member we hadn't seen in many years. She and her husband had a puzzle set up in their den, and we were fascinated by how they arranged their puzzle pieces. They had a system too. Little things like assembling the edge first, sorting by color, placing all the pieces on the table, or leaving them in the box to search like a treasure hunt. Everyone has their favorite method of working a puzzle.

A bit of trivia - the word puzzle, used as a noun to describe a game like we commonly use it now, is a relatively new definition. When I looked up the word puzzle in my 1828 dictionary, it wasn't even mentioned. The puzzle definitions are as follows: 1) To be bewildered, to be awkward. 2) perplexity, embarrassment. 3) To make intricate; to entangle. As Mary journeyed through her pregnancy she had to be puzzled. Bewildered, embarrassed, perplexed, how could she not be these things? Telling people she was pregnant, and by some miraculous method? Definitely puzzling.

When I work on a jigsaw puzzle, I always want to have certain things in place. I like to know that all of the pieces are present. I want an excellent picture to follow to visualize what the finished puzzle will look like. I want clear areas to work on, especially when putting together a puzzle with another person. When I ponder Christmas, it is much like a puzzle. I want a clear calendar schedule of all the traditional things I want to do. I want everything to be in place and to go as planned. There are certain areas that everyone in the family works on to make our Christmas season follow tradition, at least in my mind! I want everyone to follow the same plan I have, to feel like I feel. 

I just read over that and paused; wow. Mary had none of that! She had no clear picture of what was to come. There is no way she could imagine life after she gave birth, given how her pregnancy started. She had to wonder how all the pieces of life would fit together. Bewildered and perplexed don't seem like good descriptions of what she must have felt. Yet she was obedient and trusted God.

I want to approach Advent this year as an unknown puzzle. Instead of a familiar picture, where all the pieces fit perfectly together, and I arrive on Christmas Day when the last piece is put in place, I want to approach these next weeks as a mystery. To be open to exploring new ways God may reveal Himself to me. I want to be like Mary, trusting and willing to be obedient. Sometimes I get so caught up in the familiar, the expected, that I leave no room for surprises. Working on a puzzle without a picture can be frustrating or seemingly impossible. None of us have a clear picture of what life will be, yet we can approach each day with wonder and awe. Taking one piece at a time and seeing how it all fits together, one day, we will see the beautiful picture God has planned for us. 

Challenge:

1. Do one thing today that is a challenge.
2. Step out of your ordinary routine and ponder what God has for you.
3. Ask "why," then accept the message you receive from God and see where that piece, that hard thing, fits in your life.

It may be to call someone that has come to your mind. Or dust off writing paper and pen a letter to a friend or relative. Or it could be to talk to the neighbor you have lived next to for years but never talked to. Perhaps God is asking you to do something you think is impossible!

When Mary went to visit Elizabeth, they were both pregnant, she was greeted with these words: "You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said". Luke 1:45 NLT

Prayer: Lord I want to believe you have great things for me. Open my heart and eyes with wonder to listen for Your guidance. Help me set aside my plans and expectations and move forward in obedience to follow You. Help me not be so focused on the final picture, but embrace the piece of life that You have for me today.